Before I start today, I just want to make
one thing really clear, and that is the
difference between FANTASY and REALITY
when it comes to getting women.
The more you get the REAL THING, the
less you care about the FAKE thing.
Most men figure they will NEVER get the
kind of women they want.
So it is the most natural thing in the
world to then really, REALLY enjoy
things like Playboy or Penthouse.
The women there are touched up with makeup,
they are presented in certain angles and
lighting, and they have certain expressions
on their faces, etc. All designed to enhance
the fantasy.
Similar thing with strippers at strip clubs.
Now, like I said, fantasy is NORMAL when
the REALITY is not there.
For example, I LOVE the Star Wars original
movies with Luke Skywalker, etc.
Part of the fantasy is the POWER of the "Force",
(which is not clearly defined, which makes it
even easier to believe in, for one can define it
in a way that is real to themselves).
And of course, there is the fact that I LOVE the idea of flying an "X-Wing" spacecraft but I probably will NEVER actually fly an X-Wing fighter spacecraft, probably never get to battle Darth Vader with a lightsaber, and probably not get to go on the same adventures with R2D2 and C3PO.
So I LOVE the FANTASY of it!
When I fantasize about it when watching the
movie, I FORGET it is a fantasy and I get
to actually FEEL the fantasy for a while.
But when it comes to WOMEN, when you actually
GET the kind of attractive woman or women you
like for REAL, you simply don't feel the same
DESIRE for the FANTASIZING elements.
It is like being Superman for real and then
fantasizing about flying. You are doing it
for REAL so you do not fantasize about it.
But there is one MORE element to this that
most men never realize:
REALITY is far MORE powerful than FANTASY.
And what I mean by this, is that, let us say
you meet a woman who is a genuine NINE in
terms of her looks, and a genuine TEN in
terms of her personality.
And you have her, bent over the couch,
she is panting your name in obsessive
lust for you, she is begging for your
body, she is totally yours, crazy for
you in every way.
You see the beads of sweat on her QUIVERING body, you behold the contours of her every curve, and again it strikes you- she is totally YOURS.
I can ASSURE YOU that this is going to
be a TRILLION TIMES more ELECTRIFYING
than fantasizing about a woman who is
in a magazine or video, even if the
magazine and video has all the lighting,
makeup, and specially chosen angles
for photo or video recording.
The REAL THING CRUSHES the fantasy thing
by a ratio of about a TRILLION to one.
That is one of the reasons my "Real World
Bootcamp" is called "The Real World Bootcamp".
Until one experiences the real thing, it
is very hard to even FATHOM how powerful
it is, because until that point, FANTASY
is the only thing that exists.
And most men will never even TRY to learn
the REAL THING. This is why porn is a
BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY.
Most men DO NOT KNOW HOW to get the real thing.
And now, I would like to give you EIGHT super powerful tips on how to GET the REAL THING, how to not only get an attractive woman, but a woman who is also a fantastic quality woman who would be a great
girlfriend.
These tips will work for you even if
you don't know ANY women or have ANY
"connections" to a social network at ALL.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 1:
GET INTO THE "JUICY" CONVERSATION RIGHT AWAY!
So, let's say you are already approaching
women and starting conversations, you
might notice that women will just be polite.
You aren't seeing their eyes light up.
Keep in mind that this woman has no idea
who you are, she has no idea that you have
gone through a lot in this life, that you are
not only a good person, but a pretty cool
person as well. She knows NOTHING
about you.
And you can't start listing your resume there.
So the ONLY thing SHE can judge you on here
is the conversation she's having with you and
how it FEELS to her.
So, you have to get her into "FEELING" state
pretty darn fast.
Now, you do NOT want to overcompensate
with becoming a CLOWN or PERFORMER.
You should start the conversation with something
low-key, like if you were at a card store and you
were commenting on the choice of card she is
holding, i.e. a father's day card, and telling her
she must have a close relationship with her dad
to buy such a card, etc.
THEN however you want to UP the ante pretty
fast, to BUILD from there. You want to get
her FEELING damn good. So you might go
from there into something that is either very
INTERESTING, or something that is very funny,
or something that truly raises her self-esteem
and makes her feel better about herself, you
can CHOOSE whatever fits best for your personality.
EXAMPLE:
So, giving the example of the woman at
the card store, you can go HUMOROUS
by telling her that she's just trying to butter
up her dad so he can buy her a Jaguar...
..Or you can go into the INTRIGUING and
genuinely meaningful compliment that raises her
self-esteem by speaking about how girls who get
along well with their dads tend to be the girls
who have less drama issues- and this would
PROMPT a response from her that was a lot
more involved on her part- it wouldn't just be
her trying to get rid of you, since now she is
actually engaged in something meaningful to her.
Also, you could COMBINE the above, and go
from humorous/funny, to the more serious and
intriguing and raising self-esteem style
conversation.
COMBINING emotions is a VERY powerful thing.
Imagine if you get a woman laughing, then get
her feeling intrigued, and then feeling better
about herself, all within a span of just a few
MINUTES.
You are going to be MEMORABLE.
You are going to be the guy she wants to CALL,
and all the other guys that just ogled her or said
trivial stuff to her will not even be REMEMBERED.
If you aren't getting the conversation into
the right EMOTIONAL ZONE very
QUICKLY, it's no surprise that your
interactions aren't amounting to any
results.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 2:
SHOW A BIT OF INTEREST WHEN SHE HAS EARNED IT.
Be down to earth and real.
This is a huge factor in being successful
when it comes to how to get a girlfriend.
Most guys are trying so hard to show they
are not interested, because they are told
by the "dating gurus" and pick up artists
that this will make the woman more interested-
so the guys end up standing way too far from
the women, and talking from too much of a
distance, and the guys try to also avoid ANY
type of comment that might sound like they
are interested.
The truth is that although you shouldn't give
compliments for the sake of compliments,
you SHOULD reward a woman for the
things that she really EARNED.
The KEYWORD here though is EARNED.
If you give compliments or if you seek
rapport for things she didn't EARN,
you are behaving as an underling,
a needy desperate guy.
HOWEVER, once she has EARNED it,
it's an entirely different matter.
So if she is telling you things that you really
find worthy of respect or interest, well then
you actually MUST show and tell her this,
because it is actually a way of letting her know
that she stands OUT from the rest, that she is
NOT just another woman, that you are NOT
just looking at her from a superficial point
of view.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 3:
BE AWARE OF THE EMOTIONAL VIBE OF THE SITUATION
Ignoring this is a MAJOR factor in screwing up attraction.
This often stems from not being present
in the moment, and being too caught up
in trying to achieve a certain outcome.
This pressure to achieve a certain outcome
is like a constant ALARM blaring in your
ear that prevents you from actually listening
properly and from FEELING what a woman
is actually feeling and trying to convey to you.
A lot of communication, in fact most of it,
is not in the words themselves, so if you are
ONLY listening to a woman's WORDS and not the
full depth of the tonality, expression, and
context behind those words, then you are often
missing what her real message is.
Here's a helpful hint- most of the time,
a woman is just trying to feel good, like
all humans do. So rather than focusing
on how you can show off how smart
you are, instead think about how you
can be CREATING A GOOD VIBE.
If she is talking about something a bit sad,
i.e. some tragedy or war, then don't show
off how much you know about that issue,
rather you should create RAPPORT to make
her feel understood, and then gently LEAD
the conversation to somewhere more
POSITIVE.
Look for the bright side of things, and
the reality is that if not for negative things,
there would BE no positive side, so if the
conversation is not going down the right
track, it's just another OPPORTUNITY
for you to create AWESOME emotions
where they didn't exist before, and that
makes you even cooler than every
other guy who couldn't do that.
A woman will not remember the details of
the conversation, she will only remember
how she FELT during it. So make it feel
GOOD.
Listen when she is speaking, listen for what
is the EMOTIONAL crux of what she is
saying, don't just be thinking of how you
can be the most cool guy to show how
you can give the most clever response.
The most clever response is the response
that simply FEELS good. You'll get
farther by NOT showing off then you
would by showing how clever and
"cool" you are. Don't put yourself
down of course, just don't make it
all about YOU. And that's how
she will remember YOU.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 4:
PROGRESS THE INTERACTION!
An interaction has natural stages,
you start off low key, you build
up steam and connect to each other,
and then you have to get her contact
info.
Out of fear, most guys will just stay
in whatever stage they are in, because
it feels good to not be rejected. However,
if you don't PROGRESS the interaction
to getting her number, and from getting
her number, to getting the date, to
getting physical, to relationship, etc,
etc, then what is the point?
So often, guys will open up a conversation
with something low key, and the women
will be receptive, but then the guys
STAY in that zone the entire time
because it feels good to get that
validation and they don't want to risk
LOSING that sense of validation.
So MOVE THE INTERACTION FORWARD.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 5:
BE FLIRTATIOUS!
If you are trying to meet a woman, then it's
CRUCIAL that she understands that there is
a sexual tension to the interaction.
So, the key to being more flirty and sexual
is being more PLAYFUL in your interaction,
combined with having a bit of a mischievous
glint in your eye.
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 6:
DON'T "OVERCOMPENSATE" FOR INSECURITIES
This is a HUGE one. We all fear not being
accepted, because of whatever it is we are
insecure about. So what do we do? We
OVERCOMPENSATE for that insecurity,
and we don't even realize it. It usually
comes across as either being insecure
or what is worse, as being a JERK.
If you start a conversation by trying to
protect yourself against your fear, usually
it will work AGAINST you.
For example, if you very early in a
chat said something like "superficial
things are so over-rated, I would never
be caught working for a big corporation",
that would be an example of this.
If you're bald, if you're short, if you're
ANYTHING you are insecure about- the reality
is that it's NOT an issue but if you START
with "Hi, my name is Mac, would you date
a short guy?" then you clearly are showing
that this is a major obsession or fear.
Same with, "Hi, I make peanuts, but
I LOVE what I do" that also shows that
you are obsessed with the issue since
it's the first thing you brought up.
Just be comfortable in your own skin, and
don't bring up the issue at all. There's
a lot more to you than you think, a lot
more to you than the things you are
insecure about.
This rule also applies for not trying to
explain anything about yourself or situation
that you think is not cool- so if your are
renting a car because your regular better
car is at the shop, don't say, "This is
just a rental- I have a better car".
Just DON'T BRING IT UP, otherwise it comes
across as you feeling inferior to her.
And when YOU feel inferior, that is the
ultimate litmus test to a woman of
how desirable you are. YOU are the one
who has to know how desirable you are.
If you don't feel it, how can she?
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 7:
TAKE IT SLOW. DON'T RUSH IT AND REVEAL
TOO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF TOO EARLY!
Now, the problem with this is that it is
the behavior of someone who feels that
he is going to get rejected.
So, if you just approached a woman, don't
start telling her within 30 seconds "man,
I'm so tired, I just got in from LA" or
"I'm so tired, I was up all night with
my agent on the phone" etc, etc.
It's OBVIOUS to her that you are throwing
around the words "LA" and "AGENT".
How To Get A Girlfriend Tip 8:
ADD EMOTIONAL DEPTH TO THE CONVERSATION.
What this means is that a quality woman
who is looking for a real relationship
is seeking someone who has an appreciation
for more than JUST sex.
This does NOT mean to BORE her with some
lecture crammed with statistical data.
Instead, what this means, is to incorporate
an element of INTRIGUE into your conversation
that has powerful emotional RELEVANCE to
her life.
For example, asking her the following question,
even as a conversation starter, would be great:
"What do you think of the phrase,
'Don't die with the song still in you?' "
This is the kind of question (by the way, I got this from a great woman, so it comes right from the source) that gets the EMOTIONAL GEARS WORKING, and has MEAT to it that can provide the fuel for a great conversation, and then you can THEN sprinkle in some playfulness LATER.
For example, let's say you are both
chatting about this topic for a few minutes,
you can then say, "Wow this is pretty deep,
look what you caused here! Instead of having
a meaningless conversation, you got me going
deep! That's it, from now on, we are talking
about Justin Bieber and Beyonce!"
This way, you get her laughing and feeling
that you have a full personality, the kind
of man that she can see herself with in
all the various contexts of a long term
relationship.
Those are 8 SUPER IMPORTANT tips on how to
get a girlfriend that you can now go out
and apply IMMEDIATELY, and you will notice
a MASSIVE difference, TODAY.
And if you are reading this right now and
would like to get the FULL PICTURE on
how to get a girlfriend and on the topic of
how to talk to women, I suggest that you
download my "Chats From Scratch"
MP3 audio program.
I've devoted an entire jam-packed 1-hour audio
program to showing you how to talk to women
and how to build a connection with women so
that they can easily become girlfriends!
In this program, I demonstrate for you on a
woman who is a GENUINE 10 in both her looks
(drop dead gorgeous) and her CHARACTER,
and you'll learn EXACTLY how to approach a
woman who is a total stranger using the
special strategies that you will only find in
this course.
To make the program even MORE effective, we
demonstrated the conversation WORD FOR WORD,
from beginning at ZERO all the way to ATTRACTION
where you could do whatever you want- including
taking her number, going out with her for a coffee,
tea, or drink, or hanging out with her wherever you
both just met.
I’m talking from TOTAL SCRATCH all the way to
ATTRACTION.
And, for even MORE benefit to you, we showed what
the conversation would be in DIFFERENT TYPES OF
ENVIRONMENTS- because for example the way you
approach a woman at a bookstore, is very different
from the energy and style you would use at an upscale
classy club where there is music and an atmosphere
of good times and partying.
This program contains TONS of crucial insights,
strategies, and dating tips for men on the topic
of how to get a girlfriend and how to meet women.
Let me make it absolutely and perfectly clear:
You will learn how to meet women.
You will learn how to talk to women.
You will learn how to attract women.
You will learn how to build a deep connection with a woman.
And you will absolutely learn how to get a girlfriend
who is not only beautiful but who is also serious
about wanting a real relationship with you.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/chats.html
And if you've been reading these newsletters,
you probably already know about my Real World
Bootcamp program where I not only demonstrate
how to do all this for you in person on women
in real life, but I also provide the expert
personal coaching for you on your approaches
on women as well.
The benefit of this program is that it saves
you TIME because you have me there to fine-tune
your approaches, and to immediately eradicate
any errors you are making, thereby skyrocketing
your results with women INSTANTLY.
Most men NEVER get these skills, even after
a LIFETIME of guessing. Bootcamp gives
you the skills in just 2 DAYS.
Over ten years, I have tweaked this program so
that it is the ultimate program for mastering
the skills to attract quality women.
Bootcamp is at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/bootcamp-sign-up.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Showing posts with label get a girlfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label get a girlfriend. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
The Attraction Equalizer
There's an important film out there,
it's one that I think EVERY GUY
should watch.
It's NOT an EASY film to watch.
It's called The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button.
It is actually disturbing, yet that
is the very reason for its merit.
Sometimes disturbing is worth it
if it drives home a worthy POINT.
Without giving the story away,
it shows you the value of TIME.
No matter who you think out there has it
"ALL" the truth is, he doesn't.
NO ONE DOES.
No one has enough TIME.
I'm not here to depress you, I'm here to
EMPOWER you to let you know that
if getting a great woman is something
you CARE about, then there is NO
EXCUSE ON THIS PLANET to not
be TAKING CARE OF THIS ISSUE.
You CAN get it, and the ONLY thing
holding you back is your perception
that you have something to LOSE
by taking action.
The reality is that you have nothing to
lose, because the ONLY losing strategy
is NOT taking action.
People behave as if they are going to be
on this planet forever, as if there is
something so precious that can be LOST
by taking action, but the truth is, one
day we are going to have to PART
with EVERYTHING, so why not
MILK THIS LIFE AND ENJOY IT
FOR EVERY LAST DROP????????
You have NOTHING to lose, except precious
TIME if you DON'T take action.
It's time to change your perception to the
CORRECT perception, and the perception
that actually gets you results.
You know, there is one major TRAIT that
some guys have that gets them the woman
they are interested in.
The guys withOUT this trait only get the woman
that happens to ALREADY "come on" to them,
(which is usually NOT the woman that the guy
WANTS) so for those guys, it's all a matter of
LUCK.
This one magical TRAIT that GETS guys results
is responsible for a "domino" effect, a chain reaction
of events and learned skills that lead to ultimately
GETTING the girl.
What is this trait?
It's GLADLY ACCEPTING ANY EMOTIONAL
"PRESSURES" that MAY be involved in GETTING
the GIRL, because the REWARD OUTWEIGHS
all the rest.
Yes, accepting and ENJOYING ALL the
emotional RISKS/PRESSURES/CHALLENGES
is then considered WORTH IT, and in fact the
FUN becomes the primary focus, not
the emotional "cost".
The "price" becomes a JOKE compared to
the price of NOT taking action.
You have to decide which track of thinking
you want to travel on.
You can't be in two tracks, or two places, at once.
You are either focused on the good stuff about
attraction and meeting a woman or you are focused
on your fears.
But most guys end up focusing on the
endless fears. The fear that the girl might
make FUN of them, or the fear that the girl
might reject them, or the fear that the girl
might look DOWN on the fact he isn't
wealthy or even have a "decent" or
"cool" job.
Or even the fear that the girl might LIKE him
and the ENSUING fear that he might not be
able to deal with a possible BREAK-UP if it
doesn't work LONG TERM!
Or the fear that his "FRIENDS" might not approve
of the girl, or that his "friends" might not approve
of the fact he even HAS the skill to pull the kind
of women he desires. (This is usually just the
"friends" being jealous, of course.)
Or the fear he might GET her into bed,
but that he might not be able to "do magic"
to her satisfaction, and the fear she will
think lowly of him or that she will feel
sorry for him or whatever.
It's amazing, because the reality is that
it's no wonder most guys don't go for
it, and also that even if they do go for it,
they stop trying to LEARN how to get
better as soon as they encounter the tiniest
bit of emotional pain.
Most guys have WAY MORE FEARS
attached to GETTING the girl, than they
have associated with AVOIDING the girl!
The worst thing that happens from AVOIDING
getting the girl is that he simply doesn't get the
girl, but at least he gets a heck of a lot of
SECURITY!!!! He is PROTECTED.
And he focuses on THAT which he has gained.
"Security from emotional pain".
And of course, you ARE what you THINK
and DO. So if you want to be ruled by
your FEARS, just FOCUS on them.
This is why it's not a coincidence that most
guys will just keep talking or thinking about
how doing pick up is just "too tiring", "too time
consuming", and how "all women are flaky"
or "b****es", and about a million other
reasons why it's not worth it.
It's because they've focused on all the things
they want to AVOID. And haven't focused
on what they can GAIN.
The reality is, whether you think it's worth
it, or you think it's not, you are RIGHT.
So while one guy is happily thinking of
how awesome it's going to be getting
to know her, getting her clothes off and
having her laughing and kissing him,
and having great times, the other guy is
just in the land of darkness, fear, and
desolation.
If you focus on why it's NOT worth it
to get the girl, then you will REALLY
feel it's not. And if you focus on why
it IS worth it, you will feel it most
definitely IS.
Another thing: The reasons that guys
give as excuses for why it's not worth it
to get the skills with women, well those
reasons unfortunately tend to all boil down
to wanting to AVOID any emotional pain.
The thing is you can't get ANYTHING
worthwhile in life without putting something
INTO IT!!!!
Seriously, you can't get ANYTHING in
life without INPUT.
You want to get in shape?
Forget the late night ads that promise
you otherwise, you have to haul your
butt into the gym. You have
to watch what you eat.
You want to excel in school?
You have to do your damn homework,
you have to study.
You want to get somewhere in your
business or work? You have to put
IN thought, work, effort, time.
Why the heck would being GREAT with
women be any different????
The greatest hogwash we were sold as kids
was the idea that you will get a woman that
you find attractive just because you are a
good guy. As if being a good guy came with
a free ticket for at least one awesome woman.
But being a good or a bad guy has nothing to
do with it. It's about having the development,
END OF STORY.
The other thing regarding all this "wanting
to avoid emotional pain" is that it's mostly
A LOAD OF BULL anyway.
It's a load of bull because part of the skills
of attracting the kind of women you want
involves BUILDING UP YOUR RESISTANCE
to all that crap, and all those fears, so that
in fact pretty soon you ENJOY the process,
and it's more of an ADRENALINE rush
than anything else.
Just like after you get into working out, it's
something challenging and INTENSE but that
you ENJOY in an exhilarating way rather than
something that is PAINFUL.
And, just like working out, you don't always
feel like JUMPING into the gym, but you're
always glad you did it on the way OUT.
You feel like you can't believe you were
thinking of NOT working out. And by
regularly working out, the weights feel
LIGHTER, and you want MORE
resistance, more challenging pressure,
you look FORWARD to it.
The challenges of life are what make
it FUN and exciting. Otherwise, you'd
be BORED.
Developing this stronger version of yourself
is GOOD FOR YOU anyway.
This is simply the kind of reality that
you will eventually want when you've
built yourself up to EMBRACE these
emotional "risks" with women. You
become so emotionally strong in this
area that you NEED the "emotional risks'"
or you would get BORED. Without these
"risks" or "challenges" it would be like
going to the gym and lifting paper clips!!
It would be ABSURD and boring as heck.
You would feel like a nerd if the situation
with women DIDN'T involve these
"challenging" elements.
This is a PIVOTAL first step to make
on your journey to becoming AWESOME
with women. It is a major change of
PERSPECTIVE.
EMBRACE THE EMOTIONAL "CHALLENGES"!
It's necessary in order for you to stick around
long enough to get GREAT at these skills, it's also
good for you in general, and it also is attractive
to women in and of itself!
And once you make this change, you will
start finding more and more reasons that
prove that gaining the skills to attract the
women of your choice is the BEST decision
you've ever made in your LIFE.
Think about it:
The biggest reason why MOST guys want
to make loads of cash is to impress WOMEN.
The biggest reason why most guys act
competitive is to impress WOMEN.
The biggest reason why guys spend their
LIFE trying to accumulate wealth and fame
and prestige and titles ultimately is to impress
WOMEN.
What if you could BYPASS all that stuff and
just go STRAIGHT to getting the women???
Imagine how much more FUN and EFFICIENT
and RELAXING life would be!!!!
If you would like to do exactly that and bypass
all the other stuff that guys spend their LIFE
on and instead just get STRAIGHT to attracting
the kind of women you really want, then I suggest
you get my program WARRIOR WITHIN immediately, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my
ATTRACTION MASTERY program, then do
that FIRST, at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Both of these programs are ESSENTIAL for your
total success with women.
And if you haven't already downloaded my book,
'The Dating Wizard' then start THERE first, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
it's one that I think EVERY GUY
should watch.
It's NOT an EASY film to watch.
It's called The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button.
It is actually disturbing, yet that
is the very reason for its merit.
Sometimes disturbing is worth it
if it drives home a worthy POINT.
Without giving the story away,
it shows you the value of TIME.
No matter who you think out there has it
"ALL" the truth is, he doesn't.
NO ONE DOES.
No one has enough TIME.
I'm not here to depress you, I'm here to
EMPOWER you to let you know that
if getting a great woman is something
you CARE about, then there is NO
EXCUSE ON THIS PLANET to not
be TAKING CARE OF THIS ISSUE.
You CAN get it, and the ONLY thing
holding you back is your perception
that you have something to LOSE
by taking action.
The reality is that you have nothing to
lose, because the ONLY losing strategy
is NOT taking action.
People behave as if they are going to be
on this planet forever, as if there is
something so precious that can be LOST
by taking action, but the truth is, one
day we are going to have to PART
with EVERYTHING, so why not
MILK THIS LIFE AND ENJOY IT
FOR EVERY LAST DROP????????
You have NOTHING to lose, except precious
TIME if you DON'T take action.
It's time to change your perception to the
CORRECT perception, and the perception
that actually gets you results.
You know, there is one major TRAIT that
some guys have that gets them the woman
they are interested in.
The guys withOUT this trait only get the woman
that happens to ALREADY "come on" to them,
(which is usually NOT the woman that the guy
WANTS) so for those guys, it's all a matter of
LUCK.
This one magical TRAIT that GETS guys results
is responsible for a "domino" effect, a chain reaction
of events and learned skills that lead to ultimately
GETTING the girl.
What is this trait?
It's GLADLY ACCEPTING ANY EMOTIONAL
"PRESSURES" that MAY be involved in GETTING
the GIRL, because the REWARD OUTWEIGHS
all the rest.
Yes, accepting and ENJOYING ALL the
emotional RISKS/PRESSURES/CHALLENGES
is then considered WORTH IT, and in fact the
FUN becomes the primary focus, not
the emotional "cost".
The "price" becomes a JOKE compared to
the price of NOT taking action.
You have to decide which track of thinking
you want to travel on.
You can't be in two tracks, or two places, at once.
You are either focused on the good stuff about
attraction and meeting a woman or you are focused
on your fears.
But most guys end up focusing on the
endless fears. The fear that the girl might
make FUN of them, or the fear that the girl
might reject them, or the fear that the girl
might look DOWN on the fact he isn't
wealthy or even have a "decent" or
"cool" job.
Or even the fear that the girl might LIKE him
and the ENSUING fear that he might not be
able to deal with a possible BREAK-UP if it
doesn't work LONG TERM!
Or the fear that his "FRIENDS" might not approve
of the girl, or that his "friends" might not approve
of the fact he even HAS the skill to pull the kind
of women he desires. (This is usually just the
"friends" being jealous, of course.)
Or the fear he might GET her into bed,
but that he might not be able to "do magic"
to her satisfaction, and the fear she will
think lowly of him or that she will feel
sorry for him or whatever.
It's amazing, because the reality is that
it's no wonder most guys don't go for
it, and also that even if they do go for it,
they stop trying to LEARN how to get
better as soon as they encounter the tiniest
bit of emotional pain.
Most guys have WAY MORE FEARS
attached to GETTING the girl, than they
have associated with AVOIDING the girl!
The worst thing that happens from AVOIDING
getting the girl is that he simply doesn't get the
girl, but at least he gets a heck of a lot of
SECURITY!!!! He is PROTECTED.
And he focuses on THAT which he has gained.
"Security from emotional pain".
And of course, you ARE what you THINK
and DO. So if you want to be ruled by
your FEARS, just FOCUS on them.
This is why it's not a coincidence that most
guys will just keep talking or thinking about
how doing pick up is just "too tiring", "too time
consuming", and how "all women are flaky"
or "b****es", and about a million other
reasons why it's not worth it.
It's because they've focused on all the things
they want to AVOID. And haven't focused
on what they can GAIN.
The reality is, whether you think it's worth
it, or you think it's not, you are RIGHT.
So while one guy is happily thinking of
how awesome it's going to be getting
to know her, getting her clothes off and
having her laughing and kissing him,
and having great times, the other guy is
just in the land of darkness, fear, and
desolation.
If you focus on why it's NOT worth it
to get the girl, then you will REALLY
feel it's not. And if you focus on why
it IS worth it, you will feel it most
definitely IS.
Another thing: The reasons that guys
give as excuses for why it's not worth it
to get the skills with women, well those
reasons unfortunately tend to all boil down
to wanting to AVOID any emotional pain.
The thing is you can't get ANYTHING
worthwhile in life without putting something
INTO IT!!!!
Seriously, you can't get ANYTHING in
life without INPUT.
You want to get in shape?
Forget the late night ads that promise
you otherwise, you have to haul your
butt into the gym. You have
to watch what you eat.
You want to excel in school?
You have to do your damn homework,
you have to study.
You want to get somewhere in your
business or work? You have to put
IN thought, work, effort, time.
Why the heck would being GREAT with
women be any different????
The greatest hogwash we were sold as kids
was the idea that you will get a woman that
you find attractive just because you are a
good guy. As if being a good guy came with
a free ticket for at least one awesome woman.
But being a good or a bad guy has nothing to
do with it. It's about having the development,
END OF STORY.
The other thing regarding all this "wanting
to avoid emotional pain" is that it's mostly
A LOAD OF BULL anyway.
It's a load of bull because part of the skills
of attracting the kind of women you want
involves BUILDING UP YOUR RESISTANCE
to all that crap, and all those fears, so that
in fact pretty soon you ENJOY the process,
and it's more of an ADRENALINE rush
than anything else.
Just like after you get into working out, it's
something challenging and INTENSE but that
you ENJOY in an exhilarating way rather than
something that is PAINFUL.
And, just like working out, you don't always
feel like JUMPING into the gym, but you're
always glad you did it on the way OUT.
You feel like you can't believe you were
thinking of NOT working out. And by
regularly working out, the weights feel
LIGHTER, and you want MORE
resistance, more challenging pressure,
you look FORWARD to it.
The challenges of life are what make
it FUN and exciting. Otherwise, you'd
be BORED.
Developing this stronger version of yourself
is GOOD FOR YOU anyway.
This is simply the kind of reality that
you will eventually want when you've
built yourself up to EMBRACE these
emotional "risks" with women. You
become so emotionally strong in this
area that you NEED the "emotional risks'"
or you would get BORED. Without these
"risks" or "challenges" it would be like
going to the gym and lifting paper clips!!
It would be ABSURD and boring as heck.
You would feel like a nerd if the situation
with women DIDN'T involve these
"challenging" elements.
This is a PIVOTAL first step to make
on your journey to becoming AWESOME
with women. It is a major change of
PERSPECTIVE.
EMBRACE THE EMOTIONAL "CHALLENGES"!
It's necessary in order for you to stick around
long enough to get GREAT at these skills, it's also
good for you in general, and it also is attractive
to women in and of itself!
And once you make this change, you will
start finding more and more reasons that
prove that gaining the skills to attract the
women of your choice is the BEST decision
you've ever made in your LIFE.
Think about it:
The biggest reason why MOST guys want
to make loads of cash is to impress WOMEN.
The biggest reason why most guys act
competitive is to impress WOMEN.
The biggest reason why guys spend their
LIFE trying to accumulate wealth and fame
and prestige and titles ultimately is to impress
WOMEN.
What if you could BYPASS all that stuff and
just go STRAIGHT to getting the women???
Imagine how much more FUN and EFFICIENT
and RELAXING life would be!!!!
If you would like to do exactly that and bypass
all the other stuff that guys spend their LIFE
on and instead just get STRAIGHT to attracting
the kind of women you really want, then I suggest
you get my program WARRIOR WITHIN immediately, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my
ATTRACTION MASTERY program, then do
that FIRST, at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Both of these programs are ESSENTIAL for your
total success with women.
And if you haven't already downloaded my book,
'The Dating Wizard' then start THERE first, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Monday, March 12, 2012
What Turns Women ON
If you can make a woman feel intense
PLEASURE, she will be yours.
Pleasure is the reason we are attracted
to ANYTHING.
Now, the human mind is pretty sophisticated,
including women's minds. We are not going
to be attracted to just anything.
This goes back to evolution, because by
feeling the emotion of attraction toward
things that would help us survive, it gave
us an advantage. It motivated us.
And being repulsed by things that were
bad for us also helped us survive. It
kept us away from the wrong things.
i.e. Bad spoiled food. So by developing
an AVERSION to spoiled food. So those
who felt it tasted HORRIBLE were more
likely to survive and replicate.
We also evolved to be ATTRACTED to foods
that were GOOD for us. So, for example,
those who had genes that enabled them to
perceiving fruit as tasting "sweet", were
motivated to find it and eat it. And so
they too were more likely to survive
and replicate.
Of course, it doesn't always work perfectly,
as candy bars also taste good to us, because
candy bars are relatively new in human history,
and our brains haven't evolved yet to "NOT
enjoy candy bars but still enjoy fruit".
But the fact is, our brains have evolved in a
way where now we are HARDWIRED to be
attracted to certain things. To perceive
them as "sweet". And to be repulsed
by other things, to perceive them as
"yucky". And everything in between.
So, the KEY to attracting a WOMAN is to do
EVERYTHING in your POWER to come
across as BEING DESIRABLE, according
to the emotional part of her brain.
So you have to INTERACT with a woman by
behaving in a way that CONVEYS MASSIVE
VALUE to her.
Most guys TRY to do this but do it all wrong,
so let's get clear on what value REALLY
looks like, sounds like, and feels like.
Behavior is not just your ACTIONS.
It's not just your words.
It's not just your voice tonality.
It's not just your clothing.
It's not just your attitude.
It's not just your BODY LANGUAGE.
It's not just your sense of humor.
It's not just the way you REACT to her.
It's not just the people she sees you
hang out with or don't hang out with.
It's not just the way you feel about sex,
i.e. comfortable or not.
It's not just how you make her mind
race trying to figure you out, or
wondering or fantasizing what might
come next.
It's not just how slow or fast you are
to validate her or to withhold validating
her.
It's not just how you touch her and how
calm or confident you are about it.
It's not just how MUCH you can control
THE FRAME of the situation.
IT'S ALL THE ABOVE AND MUCH MORE.
Every single thing about you, and every
single thing about the situation you are in
with a woman, can be used to make her
feel you are MORE DESIRABLE, or
if done wrong, to make her feel that
you are LESS desirable.
And the more desirable you seem, the
MORE PLEASURE she feels from getting
closer to you.
This is why I am so ADAMANT about not
just sticking to ONE thing to over-simplify
the process. This is not the McDonald's of
attraction.
To be THE BEST, you have to understand
how ALL the components of attraction play
a role and you have to USE these components.
If you want the McDonald's style pick up
and attraction advice, there are a billion
other guys out there. If you want the
Rolls Royce, this is the place.
EVERYTHING, in fact, that happens while
you are chatting to a woman to pick her up,
or even if you've known her a long time
and she is your girlfriend, EVERYTHING
that is happening in the situation can be used
to make you MORE ATTRACTIVE or LESS
ATTRACTIVE.
If a woman is acting 'hard to get', that's not a bad thing!
ONLY YOUR REACTION TO IT COUNTS.
If you react the way a guy who is DESIRABLE acts,
then you become MORE ATTRACTIVE.
I'm not saying you have to LOVE a
woman who is acting like a b****,
but the fact is, a GREAT woman has
to be CAREFUL about which guy she
goes for, so she can't be EASY.
Your REACTION to her 'hard to get'
behavior tells her ALL the important
things she needs to know about your
CHARACTER, and your reaction will
make ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN
THE WORLD to her attraction to you.
If you act the way a guy who is NOT
DESIRABLE acts, then you become
LESS ATTRACTIVE.
Here's an example: A woman says something
like, "We don't talk to guys at clubs, we just
get free drinks from them!", and your reaction
is, "Cool, maybe you can work for me then,
I'm looking for some hustlers that have
ambition. But first, let's see how good you
are and get me and my buddy some drinks."
So her "act of superiority" backfires, because
the way you framed it, it's just a way that she
can possibly EARN your interest, but she has
to PROVE her worth to you still, and in fact
you're still the one with greater value in the
situation. And yet it's all fun and playful too,
which ALSO feels good. So there's attraction
pleasure going on, and fun times as well.
All this makes her attraction more intense,
because emotions feed energy into each
other. Not bad, and all done in a few seconds.
And she set herself up for it. And she's
feeling way more pleasure with YOU than
she is with all those guys who were kissing up
and trying so hard and being so serious.
And, it's VERY POSSIBLE to NOT TEASE
A GIRL and STILL pick her up SUPER EASILY.
Teasing is just ONE EFFECTIVE method,
because it's a natural OUTGROWTH of
you KNOWING YOU ARE DESIRABLE.
Because you are feeling an abundance of
good vibes internally and feeling you are
so desirable, that energy shows and is
ATTRACTIVE. This makes you not
worried about women's reactions to you,
so you become PLAYFUL with women,
instead of being so serious and formal.
This is why a mean spirited tease doesn't work.
Because it's not a sign of value, it's a sign of
an angry guy or a socially retarded guy.
Anger is usually a sign of loss or fear
or insecurity as well. All signs of
LACK OF VALUE. So the hard-wiring
in her brain is REPULSED by it.
It's a fine line between feeling value, and feeling
arrogant to the point of being a prick - which is not
attractive. Practice on real women makes perfect,
as you get a better feel for it and your calibration
skills grow.
But in general, guys are trying SO HARD to
VALIDATE a woman that hasn't done anything
to deserve that, she simply LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
And a woman senses that a guy that behaves that
way must be LOW VALUE. It's her EMOTIONS
that sense this, not her logic so much.
This is why NOT VALIDATING a woman
who is attractive is such a powerful thing.
It creates a TENSION, the same kind of
tension that YOU feel regarding the fact
that a woman who is beautiful is HARD
to get.
Believe me, if it was raining women
who were gorgeous on you everyday
and they just wanted to kiss up to you,
you would get bored. You actually
value women more because they are
hard to get, because they don't try to
validate you. Of course, there is a limit
to this, as too much is too much, there
has to a PAYOFF, where she DOES show
some interest, where you DO get the girl,
or she is JUST a tease.
Similarly, when you tease a girl, literally or
figuratively, it's not to tease her permanently,
it's to create the tension in her so now she
WANTS to be validated by you. That way,
your interest in her feels good for her.
THAT'S what leads to her interest and sexual
desire, etc. Similar to what makes YOU want
to be with her.
So that's why when you don't give a woman
who is attractive what she wants so fast, it's
cool. The idea though is to do it matter of factly,
not MEANLY. Or do it in a humorous way.
So, if she asks you for the time and you
are at the bus stop, you say how much do you
want to give me for it, etc. If she's at the
gym and she's all hot after a workout and
buying herself a water bottle, you make fun
of her for pouring water on herself to make it
look like she's trying to workout. And it's
not done with "vengeance", it's done out of
VALUE, YOUR VALUE, and PLAYFULNESS.
When you don't validate a girl easily,
it's FUN for her, her hard-wiring feels
there's something of VALUE here,
i.e. YOU. And she wants to get it.
Again, a fine line between doing this
too much and doing it too little.
And the thing is, I don't even think about
it anymore. It's just a form of communication,
I'm not even trying to always pick up a girl,
it's just the way I feel.
So for example, I was at the bank, and this
hottie teller who's not even my teller but far
away, is being consulted by my teller for
something. So the hottie makes a mistake
and the hottie tells me all the way from where
she is that she made a mistake, and she says
she's so dizzy, hearing voices in her head.
So I tell her, loud enough so that everyone
can hear, "must be those recreational drugs
you keep on using" and I say it with a serious
face, but she KINDA KNOWS I'm joking
because the tonality is so matter of fact
that for sure I'm NOT being serious.
Her jaw drops, THEN she laughs, and she
says, "Don't say that! These people
don't know, they think you're serious!"
But as she says it, you can tell she's
ENJOYING it.
So I go "Who's joking?" AGAIN
in a deadpan serious way. Which
is actually funnier, because it's
more extreme of an accusation
which makes the whole thing
NOT true. She gives that big
smile, and she "GETS IT".
I'm just like this all the time, it
translates into everything I do,
including when I decide to dabble
for fun on the net and have some
fun with women on dating sites.
I put up a profile, usually without
even putting a picture, and I get
"hot listed" usually by women who
are the most attractive on the site.
Because the profile is just me being
this same way, from my profile name
to my description to whatever I write.
Instead of SAYING "I am great and sexy
and fun" they FEEL it from reading it.
i.e. I make jokes about how I have an
eternal erection and that it's really tough
and that every girl thinks I like her, even
if I don't, and that I have to tell her
"It's not you, it's ME". Stuff like that.
THEY GET IT.
Because they FEEL the vibe of value,
of non-neediness, of sexuality, of playfulness,
the message behind the message.
They are LAUGHING AND FEELING
it, instead of reading "I am great".
And, in a way, even with guys I know, i.e.
at the gym, I'm just a playful, confident, fun
dude. No, not because I'm trying to pick them
up, although we actually bust on each other
about that stuff too,- i.e. "You hardly spot me
anymore! You don't like my spots? I saw you
spotting a few other guys- you're a
SPOT-WHORE!" because we are SECURE
in our masculinity, unlike most guys.
This is the VIBE.
And women pick up on it when they
are around us, it's ATTRACTIVE
to women, even though we really
aren't even TRYING.
It works because we are secure, and because
we are having FUN. We are not looking
for approval, but we are not jerks, in
fact we actually have a certain amount
of trust going on. Like at the gym,
we bust on each other all the time.
So the same vibes of security, feeling
trust and confidence that the other person
will "GET it", and the playfulness is there,
all this is the same stuff that works on
women, except you also add the PHYSICAL
ESCALATION with women and the sexual
vibes state that you need to be in, and you
add just the right amount of DOMINANCE
at the right time - at the beginning, and when
transitioning things to the next level of
escalation.
And that's just a BEGINNING of an
interaction. But the beginning COUNTS,
because you are ESTABLISHING
THE FRAME. So if I open a set of girls
ANYWHERE, coffee shop, club, store,
anywhere, the very FIRST words are
ALSO said with the tonality that makes
the frame CLEAR: "This is my world,
it's a great world, I'm laid back, and
I'm inviting you in by the mere fact I'm
talking to you, without making it a formal
ass-kissing invitation."
Sometimes, the girls seem a bit confused
at that VERY FIRST second, because this
doesn't happen to them everyday, so they
aren't sure what's going on. I don't abandon
ship. I STAY ON COURSE, and just KEEP
ON GOING with it, and they "get on board"
fast.
What a lot of guys do is they try to
act cool with a tease, but have nothing
to follow it up with. Because they are
too focused on the ACT of teasing, and
not focused on the PRINCIPLE of
feeling secure and SUPERIOR SELF
VALUE. The mere act of WORRYING
about what she thinks so much so that
you can come up with the perfect thing t
o say next is something she CAN DETECT
because she has seen the various forms of
insecurity a million times in other guys.
And she detects that you are trying so hard
for her, TOO HARD, too fast before even
KNOWING HER AT ALL, before she has
done anything to DESERVE that effort.
So THAT implies to her subconscious
that you are NOT WORTH MUCH.
So her brain feels NO PLEASURE.
At EVERY point in an interaction with
a woman from meeting her the first time
all the way to sex and beyond and even
into a serious relationship, there is the way
a guy with VALUE would act and the way
a guy without value would act.
So if you are at a club and have gone up
to a girl or group of girls and teased them
and then you are chatting with the girl
you like most, and you tell her to come
sit down with you where it's quieter,
and she resists, how do you react?
Does it AFFECT your sense of self-worth?
Or are you COMPLETELY COOL and still
feeling the sexual vibes inside of you and
feeling good and you chat her up some more
and then GO FOR IT AGAIN? That would
be a decent strategy. Or, another strategy
that would be cool would be to just be
more dominant in your OWN FRAME
about the idea of her going with you.
Because if YOU think it's a big deal, that
means that YOU FEEL SHE HAS SUPERIOR
VALUE, so when she resists going, you think
she is actually doing the RIGHT THING for
herself, since you don't feel you have the value!
So you actually feel GUILTY about trying to
get her to come sit down with you!
But if you DID FEEL YOU HAD THE VALUE,
then you would feel it's in HER interest to come
with you! Because SHE would be having a great
time. So then instead of feeling GUILTY, you
would be smiling and maybe wink at her, and
take her hand while looking in her EYES and
say "don't deprive yourself!"
GET IT?
And when you DO take her hand, don't take
it like a GIRL. Take it like a MAN.
I used to be scared I might crush a girl's
hand because I work out so much, but then
I realized that the worst thing that ever happens
if I DO hold her too firmly is the girl thinks
I'm JOKING and she tries to SQUEEZE
BACK as hard as she can and laughs.
So it's all good, as they say, since it only
adds to the FUN vibes.
Superiority. Value. Fun. Sexuality.
DOMINANCE.
These are actually ALL FORMS OF
PLEASURE for a woman when you
convey them.
And that is what you want to give a woman.
Another important note on pleasure:
SEX is obviously one of the HIGHEST forms
of pleasure. So, do you realize how
HORRIFYINGLY TERRIBLE OF A MISTAKE
IT IS TO COME ACROSS AS TOO "NICE"
by avoiding any sexual undertones to your
interaction? Or by COMING ACROSS
as "too NICE for HARDCORE sex"?
A woman ALREADY has to deal with cultural
brainwashing of feeling like a slut if she is
too "easy", so if you are going to ALSO
have "issues" with sex, by not being in
a sexual state yourself, or by avoiding
any sexual content to your conversation,
she will feel that things are going to be
VERY RESTRICTED AND NOT FUN
WITH YOU IN THE BEDROOM.
And of course, when you DO get to
to the bedroom part, you have to
realize that all that "not wanting to
be a slut" fear is something that
goes out the window - if you have
issues in the bedroom, if you feel
bad about sex, how the heck is
SHE going to feel good about it???
So you see, at EVERY stage of the interaction,
it's ALWAYS about increasing the PLEASURE,
it's about making her feel greater and more
INTENSE emotions- this is why creating
that CONNECTION with her is also important,
because it makes the experience of being with
you MORE INTIMATE, more meaningful.
But don't think for one SECOND it's
connection for connection's sake. It's
about how that can make the whole experience
even more of a RUSH. Sex with a girl you
are not only ATTRACTED to, but who you
also feel CONNECTED TO, feels WAY
MORE INTENSE.
It's the same for a girl when it comes to how
SHE feels.
One last point on pleasure for now- in general,
we want MORE AND MORE of it, not less
and less. So, once things are heating up with
a woman, whether it's your opening up of the
conversation, the teases, the contact, don't
RUIN it by going backwards into INFERIOR
GUY MODE, i.e. "playing it emotionally
safe for yourself"
This is what happens with so many guys,
they are finally making progress and getting
somewhere, they are getting how all this works,
the girl is getting attracted, but then the guy
starts to get TOO DEPENDENT ON THE
OUTCOME and he starts to get needy for
it, and he displays the characteristics of
inferiority instead of BEING THE MAN!
So, if she's laughing, she's sitting down
with you, you're holding her hand, kissing,
whatever it is, KEEP IT GOING to the
NEXT LEVEL as much as possible.
That doesn't mean to make out with her
non stop at the bar, and it doesn't mean
to KEEP ON TEASING her non-stop.
That's not what I mean at all. What I
mean is take things to the NEXT level
of the interaction. You kind of KNOW
in your gut when it's time to move on
from the opener, when it's time to
go into rapport, when it's time to
hold her hand, when it's time to
kiss her, when it's time to escalate
to sex. You have to MAKE it
happen, and not stay in the
"emotional zero-risk zone".
But like I said, what happens is that guys
have this guy idea in their minds that their
VALUE is at stake, so they don't want
to screw up. That's just more society
brainwashing though, because in fact
going for it is the way to get good.
But guys let the ego control them, they are
AFRAID of getting rejected by going for
the NEXT STAGE, be it leaving with her,
or kissing her, or whatever it is that comes
next. But the whole way you GOT to the
good situation in the first place was by
NOT following your fears, but rather
following what you DO WANT.
You CAN'T WIN by adopting the
"fear" strategy of "staying where
you are because you got somewhere
and you don't want to RUIN it".
The WORST THING that happens from
GOING for it is that maybe she resists.
THAT'S FINE. First of all, it's usually
only TEMPORARY, it just means she's
not ready to escalate right that SECOND.
In three minutes from that time, she may
very well be TOTALLY RECEPTIVE
to your escalation again.
And no matter what, you'll improve your
calibration and sense of timing for next time.
And the best thing that happens, is that you
get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT and have the time
of your life. And the reality is that with
this technology that I am teaching, it's
actually FAR MORE LIKELY to get what you want,
than to get the opposite reaction.
This newsletter has touched on a TON of
CRUCIAL elements of attraction. And as you
can tell, ONE of the BIG ones is developing
the SKILL of a super-confident sense of HUMOR.
To do that, I seriously suggest you download my
program on how to develop confident humor now.
In this program, I interview a man who used
to be a virgin till 26, then became known
as one of the most daring, funny, and successful
guys with women on the PLANET. In fact, his
story has been told in a New York Times'
best selling book.
This program is at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/confident-humor.html
And as the weather warms up and hot women
are popping up everywhere out of hibernation,
this is a GREAT TIME to sign up for BOOTCAMP.
In bootcamp, you will learn it all LIVE on
women in tons of venues and locations. From how
to create MORE pleasure by being DIFFERENT,
by being unpredictable so her mind cannot
ADAPT and thus cannot get bored, to how
to dress in a way that accents sexuality
and superiority and fun and triggers those
awesome emotions in her. To how your
LIFESTYLE fits into all this to OPTIMIZE
your attractive power. To how all this plays
into SEX as well. And how to adapt for a
club environment and for quieter
environments, and much more.
You'll be IMMERSED in REAL WORLD pickup for
3 DAYS and 3 NIGHTS. I'll demonstrate it for
you again and again, so you can EXPERIENCE
and see the subtleties of EFFECTIVE humor,
dominance, bonding, physical escalation, and
much more. I'll coach you as you wing with me,
I'll give you EXACT SPECIFICS on what to do
IMMEDIATELY to improve everything in your game,
from your body language, to your frame of humor,
to your voice, to what you are doing to get
a girl to move from A to B. I'll also DELVE
into your inner game and find the obstacles
holding you back internally and help you
blast them away FOR GOOD.
And I'll take your sense of style to the next level
so that you start stirring women's emotions as
soon as they see you, even before you've said
a word.
It's all at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And for my most advanced HOME STUDY program,
you DEFINITELY want to get my program
WARRIOR WITHIN, which will blow your mind
and take you to the NEXT LEVEL with women
and it will do it FASTER than any other
program out there, PERIOD.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
This program gives you the crucial knowledge
and makes it available at your FINGERTIPS, 24/7.
It will REVOLUTIONIZE the way you look at
attraction and the way you interact with women,
and you can come back to it again and again
whenever you have a question, for YEARS to come.
No matter how you look at it, this program
will seriously increase your results. If you
take it before the bootcamp, it will prepare
you so that you can push yourself even
FURTHER and gain even MORE skill.
If you take it after the bootcamp, it's an
EXCELLENT way to KEEP you on top of your game
as you continue to use the skills in the real
world and refer to the program for any questions
that may arise.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
PLEASURE, she will be yours.
Pleasure is the reason we are attracted
to ANYTHING.
Now, the human mind is pretty sophisticated,
including women's minds. We are not going
to be attracted to just anything.
This goes back to evolution, because by
feeling the emotion of attraction toward
things that would help us survive, it gave
us an advantage. It motivated us.
And being repulsed by things that were
bad for us also helped us survive. It
kept us away from the wrong things.
i.e. Bad spoiled food. So by developing
an AVERSION to spoiled food. So those
who felt it tasted HORRIBLE were more
likely to survive and replicate.
We also evolved to be ATTRACTED to foods
that were GOOD for us. So, for example,
those who had genes that enabled them to
perceiving fruit as tasting "sweet", were
motivated to find it and eat it. And so
they too were more likely to survive
and replicate.
Of course, it doesn't always work perfectly,
as candy bars also taste good to us, because
candy bars are relatively new in human history,
and our brains haven't evolved yet to "NOT
enjoy candy bars but still enjoy fruit".
But the fact is, our brains have evolved in a
way where now we are HARDWIRED to be
attracted to certain things. To perceive
them as "sweet". And to be repulsed
by other things, to perceive them as
"yucky". And everything in between.
So, the KEY to attracting a WOMAN is to do
EVERYTHING in your POWER to come
across as BEING DESIRABLE, according
to the emotional part of her brain.
So you have to INTERACT with a woman by
behaving in a way that CONVEYS MASSIVE
VALUE to her.
Most guys TRY to do this but do it all wrong,
so let's get clear on what value REALLY
looks like, sounds like, and feels like.
Behavior is not just your ACTIONS.
It's not just your words.
It's not just your voice tonality.
It's not just your clothing.
It's not just your attitude.
It's not just your BODY LANGUAGE.
It's not just your sense of humor.
It's not just the way you REACT to her.
It's not just the people she sees you
hang out with or don't hang out with.
It's not just the way you feel about sex,
i.e. comfortable or not.
It's not just how you make her mind
race trying to figure you out, or
wondering or fantasizing what might
come next.
It's not just how slow or fast you are
to validate her or to withhold validating
her.
It's not just how you touch her and how
calm or confident you are about it.
It's not just how MUCH you can control
THE FRAME of the situation.
IT'S ALL THE ABOVE AND MUCH MORE.
Every single thing about you, and every
single thing about the situation you are in
with a woman, can be used to make her
feel you are MORE DESIRABLE, or
if done wrong, to make her feel that
you are LESS desirable.
And the more desirable you seem, the
MORE PLEASURE she feels from getting
closer to you.
This is why I am so ADAMANT about not
just sticking to ONE thing to over-simplify
the process. This is not the McDonald's of
attraction.
To be THE BEST, you have to understand
how ALL the components of attraction play
a role and you have to USE these components.
If you want the McDonald's style pick up
and attraction advice, there are a billion
other guys out there. If you want the
Rolls Royce, this is the place.
EVERYTHING, in fact, that happens while
you are chatting to a woman to pick her up,
or even if you've known her a long time
and she is your girlfriend, EVERYTHING
that is happening in the situation can be used
to make you MORE ATTRACTIVE or LESS
ATTRACTIVE.
If a woman is acting 'hard to get', that's not a bad thing!
ONLY YOUR REACTION TO IT COUNTS.
If you react the way a guy who is DESIRABLE acts,
then you become MORE ATTRACTIVE.
I'm not saying you have to LOVE a
woman who is acting like a b****,
but the fact is, a GREAT woman has
to be CAREFUL about which guy she
goes for, so she can't be EASY.
Your REACTION to her 'hard to get'
behavior tells her ALL the important
things she needs to know about your
CHARACTER, and your reaction will
make ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN
THE WORLD to her attraction to you.
If you act the way a guy who is NOT
DESIRABLE acts, then you become
LESS ATTRACTIVE.
Here's an example: A woman says something
like, "We don't talk to guys at clubs, we just
get free drinks from them!", and your reaction
is, "Cool, maybe you can work for me then,
I'm looking for some hustlers that have
ambition. But first, let's see how good you
are and get me and my buddy some drinks."
So her "act of superiority" backfires, because
the way you framed it, it's just a way that she
can possibly EARN your interest, but she has
to PROVE her worth to you still, and in fact
you're still the one with greater value in the
situation. And yet it's all fun and playful too,
which ALSO feels good. So there's attraction
pleasure going on, and fun times as well.
All this makes her attraction more intense,
because emotions feed energy into each
other. Not bad, and all done in a few seconds.
And she set herself up for it. And she's
feeling way more pleasure with YOU than
she is with all those guys who were kissing up
and trying so hard and being so serious.
And, it's VERY POSSIBLE to NOT TEASE
A GIRL and STILL pick her up SUPER EASILY.
Teasing is just ONE EFFECTIVE method,
because it's a natural OUTGROWTH of
you KNOWING YOU ARE DESIRABLE.
Because you are feeling an abundance of
good vibes internally and feeling you are
so desirable, that energy shows and is
ATTRACTIVE. This makes you not
worried about women's reactions to you,
so you become PLAYFUL with women,
instead of being so serious and formal.
This is why a mean spirited tease doesn't work.
Because it's not a sign of value, it's a sign of
an angry guy or a socially retarded guy.
Anger is usually a sign of loss or fear
or insecurity as well. All signs of
LACK OF VALUE. So the hard-wiring
in her brain is REPULSED by it.
It's a fine line between feeling value, and feeling
arrogant to the point of being a prick - which is not
attractive. Practice on real women makes perfect,
as you get a better feel for it and your calibration
skills grow.
But in general, guys are trying SO HARD to
VALIDATE a woman that hasn't done anything
to deserve that, she simply LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
And a woman senses that a guy that behaves that
way must be LOW VALUE. It's her EMOTIONS
that sense this, not her logic so much.
This is why NOT VALIDATING a woman
who is attractive is such a powerful thing.
It creates a TENSION, the same kind of
tension that YOU feel regarding the fact
that a woman who is beautiful is HARD
to get.
Believe me, if it was raining women
who were gorgeous on you everyday
and they just wanted to kiss up to you,
you would get bored. You actually
value women more because they are
hard to get, because they don't try to
validate you. Of course, there is a limit
to this, as too much is too much, there
has to a PAYOFF, where she DOES show
some interest, where you DO get the girl,
or she is JUST a tease.
Similarly, when you tease a girl, literally or
figuratively, it's not to tease her permanently,
it's to create the tension in her so now she
WANTS to be validated by you. That way,
your interest in her feels good for her.
THAT'S what leads to her interest and sexual
desire, etc. Similar to what makes YOU want
to be with her.
So that's why when you don't give a woman
who is attractive what she wants so fast, it's
cool. The idea though is to do it matter of factly,
not MEANLY. Or do it in a humorous way.
So, if she asks you for the time and you
are at the bus stop, you say how much do you
want to give me for it, etc. If she's at the
gym and she's all hot after a workout and
buying herself a water bottle, you make fun
of her for pouring water on herself to make it
look like she's trying to workout. And it's
not done with "vengeance", it's done out of
VALUE, YOUR VALUE, and PLAYFULNESS.
When you don't validate a girl easily,
it's FUN for her, her hard-wiring feels
there's something of VALUE here,
i.e. YOU. And she wants to get it.
Again, a fine line between doing this
too much and doing it too little.
And the thing is, I don't even think about
it anymore. It's just a form of communication,
I'm not even trying to always pick up a girl,
it's just the way I feel.
So for example, I was at the bank, and this
hottie teller who's not even my teller but far
away, is being consulted by my teller for
something. So the hottie makes a mistake
and the hottie tells me all the way from where
she is that she made a mistake, and she says
she's so dizzy, hearing voices in her head.
So I tell her, loud enough so that everyone
can hear, "must be those recreational drugs
you keep on using" and I say it with a serious
face, but she KINDA KNOWS I'm joking
because the tonality is so matter of fact
that for sure I'm NOT being serious.
Her jaw drops, THEN she laughs, and she
says, "Don't say that! These people
don't know, they think you're serious!"
But as she says it, you can tell she's
ENJOYING it.
So I go "Who's joking?" AGAIN
in a deadpan serious way. Which
is actually funnier, because it's
more extreme of an accusation
which makes the whole thing
NOT true. She gives that big
smile, and she "GETS IT".
I'm just like this all the time, it
translates into everything I do,
including when I decide to dabble
for fun on the net and have some
fun with women on dating sites.
I put up a profile, usually without
even putting a picture, and I get
"hot listed" usually by women who
are the most attractive on the site.
Because the profile is just me being
this same way, from my profile name
to my description to whatever I write.
Instead of SAYING "I am great and sexy
and fun" they FEEL it from reading it.
i.e. I make jokes about how I have an
eternal erection and that it's really tough
and that every girl thinks I like her, even
if I don't, and that I have to tell her
"It's not you, it's ME". Stuff like that.
THEY GET IT.
Because they FEEL the vibe of value,
of non-neediness, of sexuality, of playfulness,
the message behind the message.
They are LAUGHING AND FEELING
it, instead of reading "I am great".
And, in a way, even with guys I know, i.e.
at the gym, I'm just a playful, confident, fun
dude. No, not because I'm trying to pick them
up, although we actually bust on each other
about that stuff too,- i.e. "You hardly spot me
anymore! You don't like my spots? I saw you
spotting a few other guys- you're a
SPOT-WHORE!" because we are SECURE
in our masculinity, unlike most guys.
This is the VIBE.
And women pick up on it when they
are around us, it's ATTRACTIVE
to women, even though we really
aren't even TRYING.
It works because we are secure, and because
we are having FUN. We are not looking
for approval, but we are not jerks, in
fact we actually have a certain amount
of trust going on. Like at the gym,
we bust on each other all the time.
So the same vibes of security, feeling
trust and confidence that the other person
will "GET it", and the playfulness is there,
all this is the same stuff that works on
women, except you also add the PHYSICAL
ESCALATION with women and the sexual
vibes state that you need to be in, and you
add just the right amount of DOMINANCE
at the right time - at the beginning, and when
transitioning things to the next level of
escalation.
And that's just a BEGINNING of an
interaction. But the beginning COUNTS,
because you are ESTABLISHING
THE FRAME. So if I open a set of girls
ANYWHERE, coffee shop, club, store,
anywhere, the very FIRST words are
ALSO said with the tonality that makes
the frame CLEAR: "This is my world,
it's a great world, I'm laid back, and
I'm inviting you in by the mere fact I'm
talking to you, without making it a formal
ass-kissing invitation."
Sometimes, the girls seem a bit confused
at that VERY FIRST second, because this
doesn't happen to them everyday, so they
aren't sure what's going on. I don't abandon
ship. I STAY ON COURSE, and just KEEP
ON GOING with it, and they "get on board"
fast.
What a lot of guys do is they try to
act cool with a tease, but have nothing
to follow it up with. Because they are
too focused on the ACT of teasing, and
not focused on the PRINCIPLE of
feeling secure and SUPERIOR SELF
VALUE. The mere act of WORRYING
about what she thinks so much so that
you can come up with the perfect thing t
o say next is something she CAN DETECT
because she has seen the various forms of
insecurity a million times in other guys.
And she detects that you are trying so hard
for her, TOO HARD, too fast before even
KNOWING HER AT ALL, before she has
done anything to DESERVE that effort.
So THAT implies to her subconscious
that you are NOT WORTH MUCH.
So her brain feels NO PLEASURE.
At EVERY point in an interaction with
a woman from meeting her the first time
all the way to sex and beyond and even
into a serious relationship, there is the way
a guy with VALUE would act and the way
a guy without value would act.
So if you are at a club and have gone up
to a girl or group of girls and teased them
and then you are chatting with the girl
you like most, and you tell her to come
sit down with you where it's quieter,
and she resists, how do you react?
Does it AFFECT your sense of self-worth?
Or are you COMPLETELY COOL and still
feeling the sexual vibes inside of you and
feeling good and you chat her up some more
and then GO FOR IT AGAIN? That would
be a decent strategy. Or, another strategy
that would be cool would be to just be
more dominant in your OWN FRAME
about the idea of her going with you.
Because if YOU think it's a big deal, that
means that YOU FEEL SHE HAS SUPERIOR
VALUE, so when she resists going, you think
she is actually doing the RIGHT THING for
herself, since you don't feel you have the value!
So you actually feel GUILTY about trying to
get her to come sit down with you!
But if you DID FEEL YOU HAD THE VALUE,
then you would feel it's in HER interest to come
with you! Because SHE would be having a great
time. So then instead of feeling GUILTY, you
would be smiling and maybe wink at her, and
take her hand while looking in her EYES and
say "don't deprive yourself!"
GET IT?
And when you DO take her hand, don't take
it like a GIRL. Take it like a MAN.
I used to be scared I might crush a girl's
hand because I work out so much, but then
I realized that the worst thing that ever happens
if I DO hold her too firmly is the girl thinks
I'm JOKING and she tries to SQUEEZE
BACK as hard as she can and laughs.
So it's all good, as they say, since it only
adds to the FUN vibes.
Superiority. Value. Fun. Sexuality.
DOMINANCE.
These are actually ALL FORMS OF
PLEASURE for a woman when you
convey them.
And that is what you want to give a woman.
Another important note on pleasure:
SEX is obviously one of the HIGHEST forms
of pleasure. So, do you realize how
HORRIFYINGLY TERRIBLE OF A MISTAKE
IT IS TO COME ACROSS AS TOO "NICE"
by avoiding any sexual undertones to your
interaction? Or by COMING ACROSS
as "too NICE for HARDCORE sex"?
A woman ALREADY has to deal with cultural
brainwashing of feeling like a slut if she is
too "easy", so if you are going to ALSO
have "issues" with sex, by not being in
a sexual state yourself, or by avoiding
any sexual content to your conversation,
she will feel that things are going to be
VERY RESTRICTED AND NOT FUN
WITH YOU IN THE BEDROOM.
And of course, when you DO get to
to the bedroom part, you have to
realize that all that "not wanting to
be a slut" fear is something that
goes out the window - if you have
issues in the bedroom, if you feel
bad about sex, how the heck is
SHE going to feel good about it???
So you see, at EVERY stage of the interaction,
it's ALWAYS about increasing the PLEASURE,
it's about making her feel greater and more
INTENSE emotions- this is why creating
that CONNECTION with her is also important,
because it makes the experience of being with
you MORE INTIMATE, more meaningful.
But don't think for one SECOND it's
connection for connection's sake. It's
about how that can make the whole experience
even more of a RUSH. Sex with a girl you
are not only ATTRACTED to, but who you
also feel CONNECTED TO, feels WAY
MORE INTENSE.
It's the same for a girl when it comes to how
SHE feels.
One last point on pleasure for now- in general,
we want MORE AND MORE of it, not less
and less. So, once things are heating up with
a woman, whether it's your opening up of the
conversation, the teases, the contact, don't
RUIN it by going backwards into INFERIOR
GUY MODE, i.e. "playing it emotionally
safe for yourself"
This is what happens with so many guys,
they are finally making progress and getting
somewhere, they are getting how all this works,
the girl is getting attracted, but then the guy
starts to get TOO DEPENDENT ON THE
OUTCOME and he starts to get needy for
it, and he displays the characteristics of
inferiority instead of BEING THE MAN!
So, if she's laughing, she's sitting down
with you, you're holding her hand, kissing,
whatever it is, KEEP IT GOING to the
NEXT LEVEL as much as possible.
That doesn't mean to make out with her
non stop at the bar, and it doesn't mean
to KEEP ON TEASING her non-stop.
That's not what I mean at all. What I
mean is take things to the NEXT level
of the interaction. You kind of KNOW
in your gut when it's time to move on
from the opener, when it's time to
go into rapport, when it's time to
hold her hand, when it's time to
kiss her, when it's time to escalate
to sex. You have to MAKE it
happen, and not stay in the
"emotional zero-risk zone".
But like I said, what happens is that guys
have this guy idea in their minds that their
VALUE is at stake, so they don't want
to screw up. That's just more society
brainwashing though, because in fact
going for it is the way to get good.
But guys let the ego control them, they are
AFRAID of getting rejected by going for
the NEXT STAGE, be it leaving with her,
or kissing her, or whatever it is that comes
next. But the whole way you GOT to the
good situation in the first place was by
NOT following your fears, but rather
following what you DO WANT.
You CAN'T WIN by adopting the
"fear" strategy of "staying where
you are because you got somewhere
and you don't want to RUIN it".
The WORST THING that happens from
GOING for it is that maybe she resists.
THAT'S FINE. First of all, it's usually
only TEMPORARY, it just means she's
not ready to escalate right that SECOND.
In three minutes from that time, she may
very well be TOTALLY RECEPTIVE
to your escalation again.
And no matter what, you'll improve your
calibration and sense of timing for next time.
And the best thing that happens, is that you
get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT and have the time
of your life. And the reality is that with
this technology that I am teaching, it's
actually FAR MORE LIKELY to get what you want,
than to get the opposite reaction.
This newsletter has touched on a TON of
CRUCIAL elements of attraction. And as you
can tell, ONE of the BIG ones is developing
the SKILL of a super-confident sense of HUMOR.
To do that, I seriously suggest you download my
program on how to develop confident humor now.
In this program, I interview a man who used
to be a virgin till 26, then became known
as one of the most daring, funny, and successful
guys with women on the PLANET. In fact, his
story has been told in a New York Times'
best selling book.
This program is at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/confident-humor.html
And as the weather warms up and hot women
are popping up everywhere out of hibernation,
this is a GREAT TIME to sign up for BOOTCAMP.
In bootcamp, you will learn it all LIVE on
women in tons of venues and locations. From how
to create MORE pleasure by being DIFFERENT,
by being unpredictable so her mind cannot
ADAPT and thus cannot get bored, to how
to dress in a way that accents sexuality
and superiority and fun and triggers those
awesome emotions in her. To how your
LIFESTYLE fits into all this to OPTIMIZE
your attractive power. To how all this plays
into SEX as well. And how to adapt for a
club environment and for quieter
environments, and much more.
You'll be IMMERSED in REAL WORLD pickup for
3 DAYS and 3 NIGHTS. I'll demonstrate it for
you again and again, so you can EXPERIENCE
and see the subtleties of EFFECTIVE humor,
dominance, bonding, physical escalation, and
much more. I'll coach you as you wing with me,
I'll give you EXACT SPECIFICS on what to do
IMMEDIATELY to improve everything in your game,
from your body language, to your frame of humor,
to your voice, to what you are doing to get
a girl to move from A to B. I'll also DELVE
into your inner game and find the obstacles
holding you back internally and help you
blast them away FOR GOOD.
And I'll take your sense of style to the next level
so that you start stirring women's emotions as
soon as they see you, even before you've said
a word.
It's all at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And for my most advanced HOME STUDY program,
you DEFINITELY want to get my program
WARRIOR WITHIN, which will blow your mind
and take you to the NEXT LEVEL with women
and it will do it FASTER than any other
program out there, PERIOD.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
This program gives you the crucial knowledge
and makes it available at your FINGERTIPS, 24/7.
It will REVOLUTIONIZE the way you look at
attraction and the way you interact with women,
and you can come back to it again and again
whenever you have a question, for YEARS to come.
No matter how you look at it, this program
will seriously increase your results. If you
take it before the bootcamp, it will prepare
you so that you can push yourself even
FURTHER and gain even MORE skill.
If you take it after the bootcamp, it's an
EXCELLENT way to KEEP you on top of your game
as you continue to use the skills in the real
world and refer to the program for any questions
that may arise.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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