things I need to share with you regarding
attracting women and getting a quality
woman, plus a new video to help convey
certain points as well.
1: CONGRUENCY/CONVICTION
The first VITAL key I want to stress to you
is that there is no point chatting up any
woman if you are not going to do it with
CONGRUENCY and with FULL CONVICTION.
I think of congruency and conviction almost
as one thing because they are so closely
related.
When dealing with women, congruency means
that you are coming across as CONSISTENT
on every level, and CONVICTION means that
you really FEEL what you are saying or doing.
So, this is one of the big reasons I have,
since day ONE, (check out my first book,
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to SuccessWith Women,
if you don't believe me) focused on teaching how
to approach women and interact with women without
memorizing routines or pick-up lines.
Even the most “brilliant” pick up line or
memorized routines will have almost NO power
or attractive effect if you aren’t genuinely
FEELING it or if you feel weird about using it.
At the same time, the solution to not using
pick up lines is NOT as simple as just saying
ANYTHING. Just saying ANYTHING is better than
NOTHING, but it doesn’t particularly generate
ATTRACTION.
You want to COMBINE the power of USING some
THOUGHT (the THINKING part of your brain)
with the power of TAPPING into the right
COMBINATION of emotional states, such as
being playful, empowered, turned-on, intrigued, etc.
So, for example, if you REALLY feel a woman
is PARTICULARLY gorgeous, and you were to
approach a woman and let her know something
PARTICULAR about her that REALLY stood out,
and you were totally feeling full CONVICTION
about it, it would work pretty damn well to
get the doors open and to get her receptive.
However, since most of the time, a woman’s
who is attractive is just generating the
general “she is attractive” feeling, it’s
NOT a particularly wise move to go in with
a physical compliment.
You would do better to start a chat with
her about something ELSE that is emotionally
engaging, whether it’s a really playful
comment about what she has in her grocery
cart, or whether it’s you sharing something
intriguing you read that day that you were
curious to get her thoughts on, it’s important
that you aren’t FAKING.
Don’t talk about yoga if yoga does not interest
you. Don’t talk about fitness or fashion or
whatever if you aren’t interested in those
things.
Don’t try to “win points” for the sake of
winning points with her.
Not only is it weak because it smacks of
lack of self-belief, but it also smacks of being
UNTRUSTWORTHY since she can tell
it’s not REAL.
Start CELEBRATING the GOOD values that you
have, and use these as the ANCHORS for your
conversations, so that they are rooted in
something MEANINGFUL.
For example, if you are in line somewhere,
and an attractive woman is standing in
front of you, and you started a chat
with her about how people stand in line
for months or years of their total life,
it makes sense to at least get something
IMPORTANT accomplished in all that time.
She might start speaking with you about
how true that is, and she might ask you
“What could someone do in line”? To which
you might reply ,“Possibly make a human
connection of profound significance
that could alter the course of history”.
And you could deliver that with a touch
of INTRIGUE to your voice, a touch of
a smile, of hint of playfulness, a
whisper of sexuality.
That’s just ONE example, and it’s powerful,
and it’s all based on the fact that at the
ROOT of it are genuine things that I believe
in, which is the value of TIME, the power
of a great human connection, and the
hope of improving the course of human
history, all with a touch of the right
attitude and even a bit of humor without
turning the thing into a joke.
Catch my drift?
You have to really have CONVICTION
in what you say.
And there is no point talking about
things that misrepresent you. In
fact, if you are not congruent, you
only set up problems for later, even
if you DO MANAGE to attract her, it
is sewing the seeds of destruction
for later since when she finds out
you were not being congruent/honest,
she will lose trust and the whole
thing falls apart.
Plus, so often, women can DETECT
IMMEDIATELY when you are not being
congruent, they can subconsciously
sense something is up and not right
just from the way you are breathing,
moving, and speaking.
You probably don’t BELIEVE just HOW
POWERFUL full conviction and congruency
is when it comes to attracting the
women you want, so let me make it
CLEARER:
The human BRAIN is affected so powerfully
by CONVICTION and CONGRUENCE that it will
choose the “LESS COOL” or “LESS DESIRABLE”
THING that seems CONGRUENT than the
“MORE COOL” or “MORE DESIRABLE” thing
that is plagued with INCONGRUITY, i.e. the
thing that is NOT CONGRUENT.
It’s the reason companies like Coca Cola
are so CAREFUL to make sure their ADS
always are CONSISTENT to the brand,
so much so, that just going a LITTLE BIT
off the mark and not being congruent can
result in MILLIONS being lost in revenue.
It’s the reason that shows such as
American Idol or British Idol or any
other country’s singing competition
is often won not by the BEST VOICE,
but by the singer who PERFORMS in
a way that seems BELIEVABLE and
authentic and genuine rather than
just “acting”.
And when it comes to women, the man
who is most CONGRUENT wins versus
the guy who seems “cool” on some
levels but also seems FAKE on others.
For more details on congruency and
tapping into your identity to create
a powerful attractive vibe, check out
this important video of a recent
seminar I gave to a great organization:
2: SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
There’s a great book by Daniel Goleman
on this, but what I am specifically talking
about here is the ability to READ the
CONTEXT of any social interaction.
So, for example, if you joke around
with a girl you know is SMART that
she is a BIMBO, you know she probably
has the CONFIDENCE to laugh at that
joke, and in fact she will take it as a
compliment and proof that you know
she is smart but that you can be playful.
That’s one example of social intelligence.
But if you made that joke right after
she sweated out the last sentence on her
dissertation for her PhD in Neuroscience,
it might be socially STUPID, because
she just worked REALLY HARD on it, and
she would appreciate if you showed that you
UNDERSTOOD how much work went into it.
Similarly, considering that women today
are astronauts and scientists and everything
else, it’s not a big compliment to tell an
intelligent woman that she could be these
things, whereas a generation ago it would more likely be taken as a compliment.
If a woman tells you she is from some
country far away, and you happened to
visit that country once, a comment
from you that showed you appreciated
the CULTURE would be a lot more meaningful
than speaking about the nice pool they
had at the HOTEL.
And in general, it’s crucial to realize
that most SOCIAL conversation is not
about proving facts to each other or
about giving INFO to each other for
the sake of info, and it’s certainlynot about parading our own egos.
It’s about actually making the other
person feel good in a genuine way
from a non-ass-kissing perspective.
3: SCREW “FACT-TALK”, IGNITE EMOTIONS INSTEAD
The only thing any human being cares
about is how they are feeling, and
how they are feeling in that MOMENT.
You think I LIKE this fact?
I'm just saying the truth, which is
that to MOST people, the truth doesn't
matter one BIT.
Trust me, I wish truth mattered, a LOT.
There are the rare individuals out there who
really are interested in the truth, but most
people I can assure you don't care one bit
except in the sense of how it might help them
feel better.
If you REALLY care about the truth, whether
with communicating with a woman or anyone else,
you first have to reach a person emotionally,
or else all is lost.
So, once you realize that the ONLY thing
that counts to the woman you are chatting
to is how you make her FEEL, you COMPLETELYDROP ALL RATIONAL DISCUSSIONS until she is
so INSANELY IN LUST WITH YOU that you
can AFFORD to get away with some logic.
Most men do the OPPOSITE.
They try to “impress” women with all the
LOGICAL reasons and FACTS of why it would
be a good idea for these women to choose
these men.
This is about as useful as far as attraction
as a woman explaining to you all the reasons
she would provide you with strong healthy
offspring and why she would raise them well.
It makes sense, it’s very logical, and
at some point you DO want to know this,
but it doesn’t spark your ATTRACTION.
Think about it: When you see a woman who
is attractive, it’s how she is making you
FEEL that is really capturing you, right?
You’re not THINKING clinically about her,
you’re FEELING and only AFTER the feeling
you start to THINK.
In fact, in most men, when they see a woman
who is attractive, the feeling is so STRONG
that it actually messes UP the way most men
think, i.e.just because she is beautiful, they
start to think all kinds of other things about
her as well which MIGHT be true, but also
might NOT be true, but because she is
BEAUTIFUL, a lot of men think she must be
made from sugar and spice and everything
nice.
So we can all agree that EMOTION is the
most powerful way to make impact, right?
And HOW do you make a woman EMOTIONAL?
The answer is by EFFECTIVELY displaying
SUPERIOR VALUE TO HER.
But what the hell does this "superior value"
mean?
It means GETTING HER TO EXPERIENCE POWERFUL
EMOTIONS.
And it's REALLY DAMN HARD TO MAKE
ANOTHER PERSON FEEL ANY POWERFUL
EMOTION IF YOU DON'T FEEL IT YOURSELF.
So the REAL question is, how do you get
YOURSELF to experience insanely powerful
emotions?
I'm not talking about just "being positive".
I'm talking EXPLODING WITH EMOTIONS, but
being in CONTROL of them at the same time.
Think of that guy CYCLOPS from The X-Men
when his visor that contains his insane
optic blasts got broken, unleashing his
optic blasts and VAPORIZING everything
in sight to shreds.
You want your reservoir of cool emotions
to have that POWER, but under CONTROL.
When you meet a woman you actually LIKE,
there's nothing better than letting her
GET HEATED UP in the batter of your
personality and watching her enjoy every
second of it.
Then, you channel these emotions into
awesome expressions, whether it is your
exciting lifestyle, your killer sense
of humor, other forms of art if you happen
to be gifted in that way, your truly
intriguing experiences which you can
also talk about, your confidence, your
hobbies.
All of this is "EMOTIONAL CRACK".
And it's even LARGER than just this as
well, it's not just about EXPRESSING
your personality, it's about ENJOYING
THE THRILL of the interaction.
When I walk into a set of women at a cafe
or club, for example, I'm looking FORWARD
to playing off their energy, mixing it up, and
going crazy with it in the moment. No two
interactions are exactly the same, and that's
what makes it FUN.
I don't CARE about not having every detail
worked out in my mind beforehand, because
number one it would destroy the spontaneity,
and number two it's IMPOSSIBLE to predict
an interaction anyway.
And number three it's not rewarding, fun, or
meaningful that way, and I won't do stuff that
I don't find meaningful when I can be having
a blast instead.
You can ENJOY THIS PROCESS.
Who said learning can't be fun?
This leads me to number FOUR:
4: THE PROCESS ITSELF OF APPROACHING WOMEN,
AND OF INTERACTING WITH WOMEN MUST BE
SOMETHING YOU DECIDE TO VIEW AS FUN AND
EXCITING, EVEN IF IT’S ALSO TERRIFYING!
It has to be something that you aren’t just
HO-HUM about, because if it’s that boring
to you, or if it’s all negative to you,
well THOSE vibes will be detected by women
as well.
I've spent the last six years training in the
most state of the art teaching technology with
some of the greatest experts from all around
the world, including the U.S, Canada, Italy,
and the U.K. And guess what? I learned that
teaching is also about me LEARNING.
And l learned that learning can and should
be FUN.
In my bootcamps, my students have a BLAST with
me, and I won't have it any other way.
In my book, I speak in excruciating detail about
developing some of the most critical of these
aspects of your personality, including your
confident sense of humor and playfulness, as
well as developing your lifestyle.
I believe EACH ONE OF YOU HAS THE GIFT TO
BE A GIVER OF AWESOME EMOTIONS TO WOMEN.
You just need to learn to develop it,
harness it, bring it OUT of you.
Listen, some of you guys might be saying
right now:
"But Michael, I feel like CRAP, I'm in a
totally crappy state of mind."
I swear to you, I REMEMBER what it's
like to feel like TOTAL CRAP because
of women.
But I have REALLY GOOD NEWS:
PAIN IS GOOD, WHEN RE-CHANNELED POSITIVELY
It's ENERGY.
The ONLY way to grow as a human being,
the only way to grow as an ARTIST, if
you want to be a ‘pick up ARTIST’ in
the TRUE SENSE and not in the sense
of a sleaze ball who abuses women or who needs women for validation, is to
EXPERIENCE some crazy emotional torture
as well as the good stuff.
Whether you can create that internally
or whether you have been through it by
force, if you can manage to come out
PSYCHOLOGICALLY INTACT, you will be
insanely powerful. The trick is to
come out intact and not damaged.
To re-frame the crap you went through.
I remember an interview with Stephen King,
who mentioned that where other people will
not go emotionally, he will go. Same thing
with a comedian like Jim Carrey, he will
emotionally go where people are too AFRAID
to go. So you see, horror or comedy, the
bottom line with emotion is to PUSH YOURSELF
into uncharted waters.
This way, you take OTHERS into new waters
as well.
The thing I am most proud of from my work with
guys is that I make them INDIVIDUALS.
I don't make men ROBOTS.
I also don't b.s. about what works and what doesn't.
And unlike guys who used money or connections or
mansions or influence to get women and then wrote
books or courses on how to attract a woman, I
actually proved this stuff live while I was
practically living in my car because I spent
all my time and energy on my art, and had barely
a penny to my name and certainly had no
connections to rock stars, etc.
If you want to know the power of relying on
yourself, look no further.
So pushing yourself emotionally, both with
women, and also internally to experience all
kinds of emotions, is the only way for you
to grow. No different than torturing your
muscles in different ways at the gym to
force your muscles to do things they
have never done before and to grow more powerful, you must push yourself
emotionally to be able to pull off the
kind of stuff that looks like magic
to others.
Of course, this means DROPPING all
logical stuff with women.
Forget it. If your name is Albert Einstein,
that's awesome, but don't get logical with
women.
Instead, use your Einstein brain to
focus on emotional stuff. Develop your
intriguing side, hobbies, and your
confident sense of humor. Focus on
clothing and accessories that create
awesome emotional impact as well.
You are either GIVING her emotional value
or you are NOT.
It's that SIMPLE.
Now, before you start thinking that this
means acting HYPER all the time, you're
wrong.
5: THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING “CHILLED OUT”
In fact, the reason "being laid back" is
effective is because in her brain it shows
you are SUPERIOR, since you are not reacting
to her so much as everyone else is.
And this SUPERIORITY triggers the
EMOTIONAL button called "attraction".
But you can't be LAID BACK if you are
approaching a group of women together as
friends at a loud club, for example, while
the music is blasting. It ain't gonna work
that way. They won't even HEAR you,
never mind react to you.
You're gonna have to make EMOTIONAL IMPACT
PRETTY DAMN FAST as soon as you open up the
conversation.
In fact, even if you are approaching a
woman at a LIBRARY, the fact is the guy
who has the emotional reserve of all this
other stuff STILL has the superior edge
to the guy who only knows how to be
"laid back". Because interacting with
him has MORE EMOTIONAL RELEVANCE and
to be blunt is more FUN and exciting.
I want to make it clear also just how
powerful this stuff is, and also what
happens in the absence of this stuff:
EMOTIONS ARE THE ONLY THING PEOPLE
CARE ABOUT.
The real truth is worth sh*t.
Don't think I'm happy about this.
But if REAL truth mattered, the world
would be very different.
Things would be fair, for example.
But at the same time, this also means
that things can be UNFAIRLY and INCREDIBLY
INSANELY GOOD for you, giving you much
more than you deserve.
So, for example, a woman will be telling you
how she LOVES YOU so much.
This is because she EMOTIONALLY FEELS THAT
at that second.
And then, if something ELSE feels more
emotionally compelling in the next moment,
you could rot and die and she could not
care less about you at all.
I know I sound horrible for writing this,
but it's the truth.
This is why, by the way, I focus on how to
get a GREAT girlfriend, a quality woman
who has a greater EMOTIONAL connection
to HEALTHY attitudes for a long-term relationship,
so that she does NOT go from "I love you" to
"I love someone else" from second to second.
And by the way, some men are just as messed
up as some women, so trust me, I'm definitely
not hating on women.
I'm talking about how unfortunately TRUTH means
nothing these days, because people think that
EMOTIONS are TRUTH. But emotions can change
from moment to moment. That's why in the old
days when people were smarter, they based
marriages on things like loyalty, which have
nothing to do with fleeting emotions.
The loyalty in itself became the most
important value, and thus had plenty of
meaningful emotion attached to it.
One last thing I want to share with you
is that in our current society where many
women use men, and where so many men are
clueless and fall for women's antics,
many women have raised the bar in sneaky
manipulative crap that would make
Cobra Commander barf.
You see, once you get clued in, you can
see the antics from a mile away, but before
that, you would NEVER suspect that any
human being could be so sneaky.
But hey, if you were a woman, who had a
bunch of guys kissing your ass, you might
get spoiled and abuse them too.
6: HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF AGAINST THE
WRONG WOMEN WHO PLAY WITH YOUR MIND:
The biggest form of manipulation I find
that some women use on men is doing things
to make the guy feel insecure, so that he
will feel scared of losing her and thus
kiss up some more, but yet the woman will
deny to kingdom come that it is intentional.
What does this mean?
It means something awesome if you are a
guy currently suffering from this:
It means that if you feel like crap right
now because of some woman, chances are she just
WANTS YOU TO FEEL LIKE THIS (crappy), and
therefore she doesn't REALLY feel this way,
she is just trying to make YOU THINK SHE FEELS THIS WAY.
So you can RECLAIM your self-esteem this
SECOND, knowing that in TRUTH, she feels
you are worth MORE than how she is treating
you, she just wants you to THINK that you
are NOT worth more!!!!
Now, TAKE this self-esteem, and DROP her,
and go get yourself a GREAT GIRL!!!!!!!!
You see, to a messed-up woman, it's IMPORTANT
for her to make sure that you feel like crap,
ESPECIALLY in regards to how she feels about
you.
So next time you see some woman you are with
trying to make you jealous, or putting you down,
or ignoring you, or making you feel SUICIDAL,
like total serious CRAP, in ANY way, or you are
staying up all night not sleeping because you are
worrying, the truth is she KNOWS WHAT SHE IS
DOING, AND IN FACT HAS THIS ALL PLANNED OUT,
and she is TRYING DAMN HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU
THINK IT'S ALL "NOT INTENTIONAL".
By keeping it appearing "non-intentional" it
has far more EFFECT on you, for you will BELIEVE
it more then. It's all about making you BELIEVE
that you are WORTHLESS for real, not that SHE
wants you to believe you are worthless.
By removing herself from the equation, her weapon
has INFINITELY FAR MORE LETHAL IMPACT.
Yup, she WANTS you to be in hell.
It's to HER benefit.
But that was before you met ME through
the gift of cyberspace.
And I'm here to LIBERATE YOU from EVIL
if it's the last thing I do on earth.
See, for all the talk about women loving
relationships, when was the last time you
heard a woman committing SUICIDE over it?
But I have heard of a few men doing that.
This sh*t is important to me, I take this
stuff SERIOUSLY because this stuff goes way
beyond "picking up" women.
In case you are still with such a sick psycho
woman, and your self esteem is so low, and you
don't believe me, and you are putting yourself
through hell because of her instead of being
a smart guy and getting the hell out of there,
TRY THIS EXPERIMENT:
Leave.
Yup, leave her.
And then see what happens.
Watch, how she will most likely SUDDENLY start
acting nicer to you, making you feel better.
Maybe at first she will be trying even harder
to make you feel pissed, but if you stay gone,
she will then try to get you back.
And if you go back, she will then go back to
her abuse.
dignity and worth and realize that no woman
I want you to start BELIEVING in your own
on earth is worth sacrificing your dignity
over. (Even though you have been brought up
brainwashed to believe that women can do
no wrong.)
Hmmm, but supposedly she had no idea, eh?
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
And the good news is that there are BETTER
women out there, there are women who DON’T
play psychotic games on men.
So if you are a guy reading this and want to
get the hell out of an insane situation but
aren't sure how to meet another woman, or
if you just want to know how to meet and
attract more women than you thought possible,
you owe it to yourself to change your life
THIS SECOND.
I strongly suggest that if you can take off
just TWO DAYS from your entire life to get
CONTROL over this area FOREVER, then you
should book a private BOOTCAMP with me
IMMEDIATELY.
In bootcamp, I will personally ensure you
acquire the skills to approach and attract
women anywhere as I teach you one-on-one
on tons of real women in every type of
location you can think of, from bookstores
to cafes to public transit to lounges to the
street.
It’s at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
If you can’t come out to bootcamp right away,
then DEFINITELY get your hands on my most
powerful, in depth, home-study program for
transforming your inner self for attracting the
highest quality women.
You will learn to rid yourself of insecurities,
anxieties, and fears, and you will also learn
how to immediately convey the right VIBES to
women INSTANTLY upon meeting them,
and much, MUCH more.
I’ve also made this program EASIER than ever
for you to purchase, by arranging a new
“easy payment” installment option to make
it more convenient for you.
It’s at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And of course, if you haven’t yet got my
latest program, calling Acing The Approach,
then definitely do that now, at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/acing-the-approach.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
