There are TONS of crucial insights that I want to
share with you today on successfully approaching
and attracting women who are total strangers.
Please keep in mind that what you are about to
read all comes from REAL LIFE evidence based
on THOUSANDS of examples from my Real World
Bootcamps where the goal is simple:
Teach men how to approach and attract women,
anywhere, instantly- and get live results
on women that they can see immediately.
So every word you are about to see has been
examined and cross-examined in REAL LIFE
from every angle for ACCURACY and TRUTH.
Here we go:
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER ONE:
CONVEY AUTHORITY
When you are approaching a woman at a place
that is NOT an official ‘meat-market’, she is
far more likely to wonder what’s going on than
if you approached her at a dance club or some
other venue that is all about mingling with new
people.
So, therefore, it’s important that you BYPASS
this potential problem IMMEDIATELY by
pouring on the AUTHORITY in your tonality
and in your mannerisms.
Remember, this is NOT a club where it’s all
about socializing. And you do NOT want to
come across as a weirdo OR as desperate.
You avoid all these problems by pouring on the
authority.
In bootcamp, a lot of guys ask me, “But is it
NORMAL for this to happen? Won’t she
still wonder what the heck is going on?”
The answer is that when you come in with
AUTHORITY, she’s not wondering ANYTHING!
INSTEAD, she is FEELING one thing that can be
summed up as the following statement in her mind:
“It’s important that I LISTEN to what this guy
has to say.”
I didn’t say she wants to make LOVE right away.
But she DOES feel it’s important to GENUINELY
listen to what you have to SAY.
And that’s all you NEED, because this buys you
an IN to the conversation, and sets the foundation
right for all the right vibes of you being ‘the man’.
This is another reason why coming to Bootcamp
is so powerful, because experiencing and seeing
and hearing everything live helps you immediately
“get” exactly what I am saying here.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER TWO:
DON’T START WITH A SMILE
This is simple and related to number one, but it’s
very important.
If you are in a party atmosphere, then you can
smile, but if you are in a non-social atmosphere,
then starting with a smile just says all the wrong
things and can, ironically, creep her out.
This is why I say OBLITERATE the smile for
the first few moments, until SHE starts to really
dig into the conversation herself.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER THREE:
DON’T START WITH QUESTIONS, ESPECIALLY BORING ONES
When you approach a woman who is a total
stranger, you need to convey in indirect ways
who YOU are before you can expect her to
do anything for YOU.
That just makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
So instead, start with a COMMENT about something
RELEVANT, and make that comment interesting.
For example, at this time of year, if you were
in a busy store in a mall, it could be a comment
about ‘how important it is to not forget that behind
all the things people are buying, should be the
THOUGHT and the GENUINE caring for another
human being, as opposed to emphasizing the
material elements’.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER FOUR:
LISTEN, AND LISTEN WELL
Then, when she comments back to you, you LISTEN
to whatever she is saying, and you ‘pick up’ on what
she is saying.
Remember, if you want to ‘pick up’ a girl, then forget
the pick up lines and instead focus to ‘pick-up’ ON
what she is saying!
Her feedback to you is CRUCIAL for how you respond. This is where the "pick up line" mentality ruins guys, because men get caught up on their memorized pick up lines and in performing an "act", that they forget to LISTEN and to be in the MOMENT!
So let’s say she says back to you something like:
“Yes, it is so important, I just came back from
visiting so-and-so country/city/family/friend
and they/it/he/she said xyz that made me realize
abc.”
Now, with this, you have a ton to reply back to her with that actually connects specifically with HER as opposed to any other woman in the world.
So now YOU stand out as being a lot more than just
another guy who spits out pick up lines to women.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER FIVE:
GIVE HER GENUINE, MEANINGFUL VALIDATION
It’s important to understand here that you are dealing
with a woman who is a TOTAL stranger, so social skills must be super POLISHED in order to quickly bridge the distance from stranger to man-she-wants-to-know.
Human communication, at its emotional primal roots, is really about confirmation.
It’s the reason behind the social greeting and response of “hello”.
The real point behind “hello” and “how are you” and
“very well, thanks” between total strangers is not
necessarily to ask all the details, but to CONFIRM
each other’s WORTH.
This is known as confirming feedback, confirming each other socially, and this is the REAL point of mutual “hellos”.
Well, to AMPLIFY the effect of this confirmation, you
want to find a MEANINGFUL way of expressing it.
You do this by listening to what she is saying so you can find something you GENUINELY respect about her, and you then express that.
So, for example, let’s say it’s Friday night at the mall,
bookstore, and there are tons of people around because the movie theater is nearby and most people are seeing movies.
And this woman is checking out books by herself.
You approach her, with the right authority, you make
a comment that is relevant, she gives you feedback,
and then discover that she is genuinely looking for
a book for herself for enjoyment, and that this is the
reason she came out tonight.
You might GENUINELY VALIDATE her with
something like this:
“Oh, you’re actually here for yourself on a Friday night? You’re definitely not the kind of person that conforms and just follows the crowd. You’re independent minded and think for yourself.”
Here’s the other thing too:
Once you detect that a woman has something positive you respect about her, well THEN it’s okay to ask a question, such as, “How did you get to know so
much about xyz topic?”
She will very likely ENJOY telling you the answer.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER SIX:
IT’S STILL ALL SEXUAL
This is one of those things that’s all INTERNAL.
You don’t SAY sexual things to her in a place that
is not a nightclub designed for making out and
dancing, but you SHOULD be in a sexual state.
This means that in your mind, you are not
ASHAMED of the fact you are approaching
her because you find her ATTRACTIVE.
It ALSO means, that in a subtle way, through
your demeanor and expression and tonality,
that you are suggesting that all this small talk
is your way of showing RESPECT.
This is a very important distinction.
You see, it should be that you COULD go right
up to her and be DIRECT and say, “Hi, I wanted
to get to learn more about you since I found you
attractive and would like to know if we could
get along and if we share core values” but the
reason you don’t do this is not because YOU
don’t have the guts to be direct, it’s because
you know that this is simply too direct for our
culture.
But, at YOUR emotional CORE, YOU should
be feeling this matter-of-fact-direct about the
whole interaction.
YOU realize that this more elaborate way of
approaching a woman that I am describing is
the way to SUCCESFFULY do it, however
you also know that I am telling you that
DEEP DOWN, a woman DOES know what
is going on, she just APPRECIATES the
fact that you are RESPECTING THE DAMN
PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, THE TRUTH IS A WOMAN INDEED
WOULD LIKE TO SKIP RIGHT TO THE FUN
STUFF!!!!
HOWEVER, SHE ALSO FEELS THIS IS
WAYYYYYYYY TOO RISKY AND THAT
THE MORE ELABORATE PROCESS IS
SAFER.
Okay, that is the culture we live in, alright?
So let’s show some respect for the PROCESS.
Because ultimately, if you do want her to enjoy
screaming your name in delight in bed, then you
will respect the process that WORKS to get that
result.
At the same time, your EMOTIONAL state is
still sexual, you are NOT just trying to have
a conversation, in your mind indeed IS the
fact that she IS a woman and you are a man.
This conversation stuff is just you showing
respect for the PROCESS. But underneath
it all is the sexual animal.
This mindset DOES affect your expressions,
your tonality, and your behavior in all the
right ways, and a woman WILL register them
ALL as well subconsciously, and these are all
GOOD things for increasing her attraction.
HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN TIP NUMBER SEVEN:
SPRINKLE IN SOME CONFIDENT PLAYFULNESS
At any point in this interaction, feel free to
sprinkle in some PLAYFULNESS.
I said SPRINKLE, not DROWN.
So, for example, even at a meaningful moment such
as you and her speaking about caring about a fellow
human being, you could still playfully say..
“Of course, charity begins at home, so I always make
sure to get myself something fun too..”
And this could even lead to a bit more playfulness:
“If you’re a good girl, you might even get my number.”
SPRINKLE with confident playfulness, and she feels you are a fun, confident guy.
DROWN with confident playfulness, and she figures you are immature or arrogant.
A man with real confidence does not need to constantly suggest he is desirable.
And if you are reading this right now, and would like
to get the FULL PICTURE on how to approach women
successfully, I suggest you download my program
"Attraction Accelerators" IMMEDIATELY.
This program will show you the most powerful ways
to attract women QUICKLY when you approach them.
Speed in creating attraction is crucial, because there
is only a small window of time where a woman remains RECEPTIVE to a man's approach.
If you don't attract her QUICKLY, the window CLOSES and the opportunity is GONE.
Learn to MASTER the skill of approaching women by
downloading this program NOW.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/attraction-accelerators.html
Then, take it your training to the next level by learning
"hands-on" directly from me in my exclusive 1-On-1
program called "The Real World Bootcamp".
In this live program, I coach you on women in coffee
shops, trains, buses, bookstores, lounges, and tons
of other places!
I’ve been coaching men in this program for ten YEARS.
That means you get to learn from an EXPERIENCED
coach who can "show you the ropes" and ensure
that you master these skills as quickly as possible.
This program is at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And to check out all my other programs for skyrocketing
your success with women, go here:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Showing posts with label validation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label validation. Show all posts
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Attracting Women: Validation And The Frame
Before I start this newsletter, I must
add a warning: Success with women
is not just about the dynamics of
validation in the sense of being "nice"
or being "not nice".
Success when it comes to pick up and
attraction is about CREATING ALL KINDS
OF AWESOME EMOTIONAL IMPACT.
From her feeling giddy, to laughing, to
excited, to sexually turned on, to
intrigued, etc.
The thing is, there is a way to use the
dynamics of validation and the way you
frame your own value and hers (including
knowing when and how to make HER
feel VALIDATED) to actually CREATE
all those emotions I just mentioned
above.
Keep this in mind as you read the article,
as understanding this stuff is also a big key
to ensuring that you never come across
as some kind of CLOWN, or some kind of
UNDERLING as you are giving women
these emotions.
Ya feel me here?
OK, cool, let's begin then:
Sex is great, but validation is even better.
And that has EVERYTHING to do with
being successful at pick up and long term
attraction.
The basic idea is actually quite simple to
understand. So before we get complex,
let's explain the fundamentals:
If you had women who were STRIKINGLY
beautiful knocking down your door every day,
I can GUARANTEE you that the ONE chick
that you'd be MOST CRAZY about would be
the ONE who DID NOT bang down on your door.
Why?
The answer is because those other chicks might
in REALITY be just as great, but because of the
way the mind works, you would wonder why the
heck you couldn't get the ONE who was NOT so
crazy about you.
It would eat at your soul.
You might start to ask "Am I not hot enough for
her?" or, "Does she find something about me
repulsive?" or, "Is she special or something?"
or, "What is her problem???!! I'm going to
MAKE her like me, damn it, if it's the last
thing I do!!!"
And you might go through great lengths to
get her. You might find out what she's into,
you might find out where she hangs out, etc.
All that time, you would be passing UP the
infinite sex you could be having with all the
hotties at your DOOR.
Because VALIDATION is GREATER than sex.
It's MORE fulfilling. You would most likely start
to feel there is something SUPERIOR about that
ONE chick, and you would feel the NEED to get
HER approval.
You would feel the need to get VALIDATED by her.
And almost the MOMENT you GOT that difficult
chick, (if you got her, because all that chasing, if
she found out, would turn her off!) you would
start to appreciate her LESS. You would start to
notice her faults, etc.
It might seem awesome at FIRST, and the sex
might even seem greater than it really is with
her, because you would be getting VALIDATED
by the act. At first. But once you got it, you
no longer need to get it, right?
If all this sounds hard to believe, trust me,
it's TRUE. It's hard for most guys to fathom
this, because it seems so far out of their
reality. But it's CRUCIAL to realize all this.
Now, if you just realize that for a hottie,
most of them anyway, they have spent
their LIVES getting validated based on
their looks alone.
That's why a guy that kisses up to them
based on their looks is so meaningless
to them. Yet at the same time, for a
woman, if a guy DOES NOT seem to be
into her looks, it's like pulling the earth
out from under her feet.
It's a totally INVALIDATING experience
for her, and for women who are attractive,
in general. Makes them feel like they are
not worthy to be on this earth.
Most hotties start to go nuts when
this happens. It's like you are shaking
apart their entire reality, the reality they
have so firmly believed for all of their
life until NOW.
This is SO DISORIENTING for most chicks,
that they will immediately start to try to
make reality "make sense again" by
trying to PLEASE you, so that you WILL
kiss up to them, so that things can go
back to "normal".
And in fact, a woman will AUTHENTICALLY
start to desire you, because she REALLY
does value your approval now!
Remember, VALIDATION is GREATER
than sex.
For many chicks, when they break up,
they are too lazy and spoiled to deal with
the negative emotion in a productive way-
They feel a lack of validation, and so they
go and hook up with a few guys immediately,
making almost ZERO effort at screening him
for quality values, simply because they want
to get VALIDATED as fast as possible.
I've spoken with lots of girls about this-
I'm not saying every girl is like this, and in
fact some arent, but in general, the typical
chick is, if she is hot, this is what she does,
and I quote the term for this: "shedding old
skin". Especially true for the younger
hotties.
Yup.
Isn't that sweet.
These are really just euphemisms, or
rather CODEWORDS for: "DESPERATE
NEED TO BOOST LOW SELF ESTEEM"
AKA: Desperate need to get RE-VALIDATED.
Now, at this point, I want to make something
clear: I do not hold all women in contempt for
all of this.
Our society has allowed this to happen, a
combination of the fact that guys have
become slaves to beauty and forgotten
that character is just as important, guys
have forgotten their own value, most
guys have given over all their dignity to
women, guys have been brainwashed to
think that it's normal to kiss up to a woman
just because she is attractive, etc.
I also want to clearly point out that there
are a rare handful of women who are
exceptions, but they are EXTREME
EXCEPTIONS and not the rule.
Also, as guys, we definitely have our
share as well of bad apples, guys who
are dumbasses and abusers of women, etc.
But in general, you must learn to DANGLE
the carrot of validation to a woman without
giving it to her completely. Once you give
it to her completely, she no longer needs
you and will stop treating you as she did
prior to getting validation from you.
This might sound Machiavellian, but
it's the truth. At least in the beginning
of the "courtship". And to an extent,
even later.
A woman will tell you she is MADLY in
love with you, and MEAN IT, and be
the sweetest woman on earth. Then,
if you give her full validation, it will
quickly all disappear.
Also, once you have a woman in
private, better help her unleash
her repression!
This is REALPOLITIK.
Now, here's the thing. This is all
sounds really harsh, right?
But here's the thing you have to REMEMBER:
ALL THIS STUFF ONLY FEELS STRANGE
because you have been put in a very
"UN-NATURAL" position in today's
society with women: As a man, if you
accept the current PARADIGM of men's
roles, THAT is the real "un-natural" role.
Think about it:
MEN supposedly have to buy
women things, like dinner.
MEN are supposed to be "gentlemanly".
MEN have to "prove" themselves and
their character over the dating process.
MEN supposedly have a duty to show
that they are going to look out for
the chick's long term interest and
thus assure her that she will never
be dumped no matter what she does,
and also that they are available
at her beck and call at any moment.
MEN have to show they have financial
security, etc.
Okay, I have one question:
In return for any of this, or dare I say
ALL of this even, ALLL this stuff that
men have to do, what the *&^% do
WOMEN have to do?
Answer is, according to the social rules
of today: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
So, you see, THIS is the REAL insanity.
It pours into every aspect of your
interaction with a woman you are
picking up.
And THEREFORE, to COUNTER this
insanity, you have to do BALANCE
the forces to create some SANITY
out of it all.
THIS is why you need to withhold
validation, etc.
But it's NOT because you should
be MEAN.
First of all, I don't believe in being
"mean" anyway, but also because
being MEAN is actually a sign of
INFERIORITY.
So all this withholding validation,
breaking rapport, etc, all this stuff
has to be done from a place inside
of you that is very calm, playful,
and feeling good, upbeat, and
dominant, and yes, sexual as well.
And yes, once a woman is attracted
after all this, you have to show that
you are genuinely interested, just
not that you are inferior or needy
in any way whatsoever.
And without realizing it, most guys
ARE showing inferiority when they
think they are only showing genuine
interest, and that is because their
inner game is still plagued by
weak beliefs. Those weak beliefs
generate actions and statements
that give off the vibe of inferiority.
Or to put it simply - he comes
across as boring, needy, and
a little creepy.
So in fact, all we're doing by what
**I'M** advocating, is restoring the
BALANCE to the dynamics between
men and women. Helping fill in the
gaps (no pun intended) and actually
help women get some balance back
in THEIR lives.
A BALANCE that was lost in the last few
decades. (although there were a couple
of good things that happened too.)
This BALANCE is what WOMEN need as
well to feel the JOY of attraction!!!!!!
BALANCE is always a good thing. I'm
not for causing pain to women, I'm for
causing harmony between men and women.
I must say it clearly again, once a woman
is attracted, it's important that you also
show kindness and respect. You just have
to also know how to keep just the right
amount of sexual tension on.
Keep the flame alive kind of thing.
Once a woman is ATTRACTED seriously
to you, THEN the GREATEST gift you can
give her is your validation- that you feel
she is WORTHY of you.
But guess what???
Most guys give this validation over to a
woman before the woman even CARES
about the GUY.
It's in guys' body language, and their tonality,
down to the most microscopic details, it's all
given away before they even approach the
woman.
Can you imagine that?
Giving over your GREATEST GIFT to a woman
before you even know a THING about her?????
And before she knows a thing about you???
Before she could even VALUE your
validation????
That's INSANE!!!
Of course, at one point or another, we were
all guilty of doing this, we had no idea what
was really going on. The world of women isn't
all like those cute Teletubbies on TV if you
know what I mean.
So let's talk a bit about the practical
side to all this:
As soon as you meet most women who are
attractive, I can GUARANTEE you that
she will be trying to CONTROL THE FRAME
between you and her. She will immediately
begin attempting to do everything on
HER TERMS.
And I DO mean AS SOON AS YOU MEET HER.
Yup.
And it really will never stop completely.
Let me give you some examples:
She might tell you where to sit if you've
invited her to join you for coffee.
She might tell you she doesn't give
emails or numbers out, but she'll take
yours.
She might tell you to "be a "sweetie"
and bring her x,y,z from the counter".
She might tell you SHE wants to do this
or that, and if you suggest something
else, she might put it down.
If you are have just approached her,
and started to chat her up, she might
tell you "are you a player?" i.e.
controlling the frame that she is
immaculate and you are a "dog",
or "a typical GUY", in order to
get you to become all apologetic
and kiss her butt type of thing.
That last one above is really funny,
because women hang out at clubs
and shake their butt and tell everyone
they just want to dance, and that
guys are pigs, meanwhile the reality
is that if there were no guys at the club,
women wouldn't ever go.
Because then there would be NO VALIDATION---
no guys to OGLE and WATCH them shake
their butts!!!!!
If you ever approach a woman in a club,
withhold all the validation stuff, instead
just strike up a fun conversation, or
tease her on her outfit, and in fact if she
seems to be treating you great, don't act
all so surprised and happy as if this never
happens to you. If you act like she is
doing you a massive favor, you'll quickly
find yourself out of a conversation.
And if she tells you that you could be a
real "sweetie" if you bought her and her
friends some drinks, you should just laugh
and tell her "you're not that type of guy"
but that she could buy YOU and YOUR
FRIENDS some drinks. And you can
tell her, "of course, just because I might
accept the drinks for me and my buddies,
don't think we're going to hook up just
because of this". ;)
But enough about clubs, because women
are EVERYWHERE. The fact is, no matter
where you meet a woman, and no matter
what stage you are in with her, you MUST
control the frame.
Ahhh, I can hear someone asking. "You mean
you can NEVER EVER EVER let a woman have
things her way?"
No, don't get paranoid, but in general, the
overall frame, yes, you should be a little
more dominant, because she is ALREADY getting
the validation and confidence PUMPED up in
her from all of the rest of society.
Especially when you are doing the pickup.
Later on, you can divide up the responsibilities
if you ever get into some serious relationship.
When you finally give a woman what she wants,
create a NEW need for validation by showing her
in a fun way that you don't kiss up: i.e. you give
her the present she wanted, and then you bust
on her about something else.
Be smooth about taking control- women are
VERY smooth at ensuring they do get things
done their way, simply because they feel
it is so NATURAL for things to be that way.
I'll give you an example- let's say a woman
wants to go to x restaurant and you want to
go to y café. She might say something to
you like "So do you want to go to x
restaurant at 8 or at 7:30?" In other words,
a loaded question- she is pretending that
no other options exist.
Yeah, this happens all the time with
most women, if you are giving a
WEAK FRAME to begin with.
It won't happen though nearly as often
if you just establish the right frame to
begin with.
You have to learn to speak UP, and STOP
smooth moves like this from surreptitiously
taking over your frame. You might think
that a woman would LIKE it when you give
her what she wants. You might think that
a woman would LIKE to be validated.
Well, she might like it, for a second,
but she is not ATTRACTED to the man
that feels the insecure NEED to give
her this validation in the hopes that
she will then like him more for it.
Guys forget that once someone HAS
something, they don't appreciate it.
AND once someone has something,
they tend to want MORE. So giving
women every trivial thing they want
so easily, only digs you deeper into
the abyss of abuse.
Not only that, but women are SICK
of guys who just want to do what
women want- because the reality is
that women who are hot often really
have never had a chance to think
about what they really want, since
everyone keeps GIVING them everything!
Ask a woman what she wants:
She'll tell you a nice guy. And then see
what type of men she has actually gone with.
These are the men who provide them with a
CHALLENGE, who are able to hold their OWN
self-esteem without the approval of any
woman.
Women need men who have very CLEAR ideas
of what the MEN want.
So be even SMOOTHER than women
are, for both women's benefit and
your own.
By the way, don't get me wrong:
I don't advocate being a JERK with
women. If you saw or heard me speaking
with a woman, you'd notice that both she
and I were probably laughing more than
anything, and also just having an interesting
conversation and sometimes just kicking
back and not saying anything at all.
It's impossible in the space of these
newsletters to convey all the subtle details
of how everything works. There is a ton
more that I explain in my book, and of
course in my advanced programs.
Let me wrap up by saying that I also believe
that guys need to learn to NOT REQUIRE
validation from anyone, ESPECIALLY not
from chicks. I know this goes against the
whole notion of romantic fairy tales, but
then again those things kind of screwed
us all up, especially since THESE DAYS we
don't even get the nice feminine part of
romance.
In the days of the romantic tales, women
gave men a certain amount of automatic
respect. Romance today is impossible
until you regain more power. And that
can only happen if you follow the stuff
I teach, seriously.
And if you would like to learn EXACTLY
how to reclaim your attractive power as
a man, and also learn how to MASSIVELY
SKYROCKET your INNER GAME, and also
learn EXACTLY how to APPLY this all when
you encounter women ANYWHERE, then I
seriously suggest you get my Attraction
Mastery program.
It's the finest program on this topic, anywhere.
The culmination of years of my exclusive
dedication to it.
And it can now be at your fingertips, 24/7.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
For the BOOTCAMP experience, where
I will take you under my exclusive wing
and TRAIN you for TWO FULL DAYS AND NIGHTS
as we do it all on women in real time, go to:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my latest
program, The Charismatic Man, then do that
now at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/charismatic-man.html
Till next time,
Michael
add a warning: Success with women
is not just about the dynamics of
validation in the sense of being "nice"
or being "not nice".
Success when it comes to pick up and
attraction is about CREATING ALL KINDS
OF AWESOME EMOTIONAL IMPACT.
From her feeling giddy, to laughing, to
excited, to sexually turned on, to
intrigued, etc.
The thing is, there is a way to use the
dynamics of validation and the way you
frame your own value and hers (including
knowing when and how to make HER
feel VALIDATED) to actually CREATE
all those emotions I just mentioned
above.
Keep this in mind as you read the article,
as understanding this stuff is also a big key
to ensuring that you never come across
as some kind of CLOWN, or some kind of
UNDERLING as you are giving women
these emotions.
Ya feel me here?
OK, cool, let's begin then:
Sex is great, but validation is even better.
And that has EVERYTHING to do with
being successful at pick up and long term
attraction.
The basic idea is actually quite simple to
understand. So before we get complex,
let's explain the fundamentals:
If you had women who were STRIKINGLY
beautiful knocking down your door every day,
I can GUARANTEE you that the ONE chick
that you'd be MOST CRAZY about would be
the ONE who DID NOT bang down on your door.
Why?
The answer is because those other chicks might
in REALITY be just as great, but because of the
way the mind works, you would wonder why the
heck you couldn't get the ONE who was NOT so
crazy about you.
It would eat at your soul.
You might start to ask "Am I not hot enough for
her?" or, "Does she find something about me
repulsive?" or, "Is she special or something?"
or, "What is her problem???!! I'm going to
MAKE her like me, damn it, if it's the last
thing I do!!!"
And you might go through great lengths to
get her. You might find out what she's into,
you might find out where she hangs out, etc.
All that time, you would be passing UP the
infinite sex you could be having with all the
hotties at your DOOR.
Because VALIDATION is GREATER than sex.
It's MORE fulfilling. You would most likely start
to feel there is something SUPERIOR about that
ONE chick, and you would feel the NEED to get
HER approval.
You would feel the need to get VALIDATED by her.
And almost the MOMENT you GOT that difficult
chick, (if you got her, because all that chasing, if
she found out, would turn her off!) you would
start to appreciate her LESS. You would start to
notice her faults, etc.
It might seem awesome at FIRST, and the sex
might even seem greater than it really is with
her, because you would be getting VALIDATED
by the act. At first. But once you got it, you
no longer need to get it, right?
If all this sounds hard to believe, trust me,
it's TRUE. It's hard for most guys to fathom
this, because it seems so far out of their
reality. But it's CRUCIAL to realize all this.
Now, if you just realize that for a hottie,
most of them anyway, they have spent
their LIVES getting validated based on
their looks alone.
That's why a guy that kisses up to them
based on their looks is so meaningless
to them. Yet at the same time, for a
woman, if a guy DOES NOT seem to be
into her looks, it's like pulling the earth
out from under her feet.
It's a totally INVALIDATING experience
for her, and for women who are attractive,
in general. Makes them feel like they are
not worthy to be on this earth.
Most hotties start to go nuts when
this happens. It's like you are shaking
apart their entire reality, the reality they
have so firmly believed for all of their
life until NOW.
This is SO DISORIENTING for most chicks,
that they will immediately start to try to
make reality "make sense again" by
trying to PLEASE you, so that you WILL
kiss up to them, so that things can go
back to "normal".
And in fact, a woman will AUTHENTICALLY
start to desire you, because she REALLY
does value your approval now!
Remember, VALIDATION is GREATER
than sex.
For many chicks, when they break up,
they are too lazy and spoiled to deal with
the negative emotion in a productive way-
They feel a lack of validation, and so they
go and hook up with a few guys immediately,
making almost ZERO effort at screening him
for quality values, simply because they want
to get VALIDATED as fast as possible.
I've spoken with lots of girls about this-
I'm not saying every girl is like this, and in
fact some arent, but in general, the typical
chick is, if she is hot, this is what she does,
and I quote the term for this: "shedding old
skin". Especially true for the younger
hotties.
Yup.
Isn't that sweet.
These are really just euphemisms, or
rather CODEWORDS for: "DESPERATE
NEED TO BOOST LOW SELF ESTEEM"
AKA: Desperate need to get RE-VALIDATED.
Now, at this point, I want to make something
clear: I do not hold all women in contempt for
all of this.
Our society has allowed this to happen, a
combination of the fact that guys have
become slaves to beauty and forgotten
that character is just as important, guys
have forgotten their own value, most
guys have given over all their dignity to
women, guys have been brainwashed to
think that it's normal to kiss up to a woman
just because she is attractive, etc.
I also want to clearly point out that there
are a rare handful of women who are
exceptions, but they are EXTREME
EXCEPTIONS and not the rule.
Also, as guys, we definitely have our
share as well of bad apples, guys who
are dumbasses and abusers of women, etc.
But in general, you must learn to DANGLE
the carrot of validation to a woman without
giving it to her completely. Once you give
it to her completely, she no longer needs
you and will stop treating you as she did
prior to getting validation from you.
This might sound Machiavellian, but
it's the truth. At least in the beginning
of the "courtship". And to an extent,
even later.
A woman will tell you she is MADLY in
love with you, and MEAN IT, and be
the sweetest woman on earth. Then,
if you give her full validation, it will
quickly all disappear.
Also, once you have a woman in
private, better help her unleash
her repression!
This is REALPOLITIK.
Now, here's the thing. This is all
sounds really harsh, right?
But here's the thing you have to REMEMBER:
ALL THIS STUFF ONLY FEELS STRANGE
because you have been put in a very
"UN-NATURAL" position in today's
society with women: As a man, if you
accept the current PARADIGM of men's
roles, THAT is the real "un-natural" role.
Think about it:
MEN supposedly have to buy
women things, like dinner.
MEN are supposed to be "gentlemanly".
MEN have to "prove" themselves and
their character over the dating process.
MEN supposedly have a duty to show
that they are going to look out for
the chick's long term interest and
thus assure her that she will never
be dumped no matter what she does,
and also that they are available
at her beck and call at any moment.
MEN have to show they have financial
security, etc.
Okay, I have one question:
In return for any of this, or dare I say
ALL of this even, ALLL this stuff that
men have to do, what the *&^% do
WOMEN have to do?
Answer is, according to the social rules
of today: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
So, you see, THIS is the REAL insanity.
It pours into every aspect of your
interaction with a woman you are
picking up.
And THEREFORE, to COUNTER this
insanity, you have to do BALANCE
the forces to create some SANITY
out of it all.
THIS is why you need to withhold
validation, etc.
But it's NOT because you should
be MEAN.
First of all, I don't believe in being
"mean" anyway, but also because
being MEAN is actually a sign of
INFERIORITY.
So all this withholding validation,
breaking rapport, etc, all this stuff
has to be done from a place inside
of you that is very calm, playful,
and feeling good, upbeat, and
dominant, and yes, sexual as well.
And yes, once a woman is attracted
after all this, you have to show that
you are genuinely interested, just
not that you are inferior or needy
in any way whatsoever.
And without realizing it, most guys
ARE showing inferiority when they
think they are only showing genuine
interest, and that is because their
inner game is still plagued by
weak beliefs. Those weak beliefs
generate actions and statements
that give off the vibe of inferiority.
Or to put it simply - he comes
across as boring, needy, and
a little creepy.
So in fact, all we're doing by what
**I'M** advocating, is restoring the
BALANCE to the dynamics between
men and women. Helping fill in the
gaps (no pun intended) and actually
help women get some balance back
in THEIR lives.
A BALANCE that was lost in the last few
decades. (although there were a couple
of good things that happened too.)
This BALANCE is what WOMEN need as
well to feel the JOY of attraction!!!!!!
BALANCE is always a good thing. I'm
not for causing pain to women, I'm for
causing harmony between men and women.
I must say it clearly again, once a woman
is attracted, it's important that you also
show kindness and respect. You just have
to also know how to keep just the right
amount of sexual tension on.
Keep the flame alive kind of thing.
Once a woman is ATTRACTED seriously
to you, THEN the GREATEST gift you can
give her is your validation- that you feel
she is WORTHY of you.
But guess what???
Most guys give this validation over to a
woman before the woman even CARES
about the GUY.
It's in guys' body language, and their tonality,
down to the most microscopic details, it's all
given away before they even approach the
woman.
Can you imagine that?
Giving over your GREATEST GIFT to a woman
before you even know a THING about her?????
And before she knows a thing about you???
Before she could even VALUE your
validation????
That's INSANE!!!
Of course, at one point or another, we were
all guilty of doing this, we had no idea what
was really going on. The world of women isn't
all like those cute Teletubbies on TV if you
know what I mean.
So let's talk a bit about the practical
side to all this:
As soon as you meet most women who are
attractive, I can GUARANTEE you that
she will be trying to CONTROL THE FRAME
between you and her. She will immediately
begin attempting to do everything on
HER TERMS.
And I DO mean AS SOON AS YOU MEET HER.
Yup.
And it really will never stop completely.
Let me give you some examples:
She might tell you where to sit if you've
invited her to join you for coffee.
She might tell you she doesn't give
emails or numbers out, but she'll take
yours.
She might tell you to "be a "sweetie"
and bring her x,y,z from the counter".
She might tell you SHE wants to do this
or that, and if you suggest something
else, she might put it down.
If you are have just approached her,
and started to chat her up, she might
tell you "are you a player?" i.e.
controlling the frame that she is
immaculate and you are a "dog",
or "a typical GUY", in order to
get you to become all apologetic
and kiss her butt type of thing.
That last one above is really funny,
because women hang out at clubs
and shake their butt and tell everyone
they just want to dance, and that
guys are pigs, meanwhile the reality
is that if there were no guys at the club,
women wouldn't ever go.
Because then there would be NO VALIDATION---
no guys to OGLE and WATCH them shake
their butts!!!!!
If you ever approach a woman in a club,
withhold all the validation stuff, instead
just strike up a fun conversation, or
tease her on her outfit, and in fact if she
seems to be treating you great, don't act
all so surprised and happy as if this never
happens to you. If you act like she is
doing you a massive favor, you'll quickly
find yourself out of a conversation.
And if she tells you that you could be a
real "sweetie" if you bought her and her
friends some drinks, you should just laugh
and tell her "you're not that type of guy"
but that she could buy YOU and YOUR
FRIENDS some drinks. And you can
tell her, "of course, just because I might
accept the drinks for me and my buddies,
don't think we're going to hook up just
because of this". ;)
But enough about clubs, because women
are EVERYWHERE. The fact is, no matter
where you meet a woman, and no matter
what stage you are in with her, you MUST
control the frame.
Ahhh, I can hear someone asking. "You mean
you can NEVER EVER EVER let a woman have
things her way?"
No, don't get paranoid, but in general, the
overall frame, yes, you should be a little
more dominant, because she is ALREADY getting
the validation and confidence PUMPED up in
her from all of the rest of society.
Especially when you are doing the pickup.
Later on, you can divide up the responsibilities
if you ever get into some serious relationship.
When you finally give a woman what she wants,
create a NEW need for validation by showing her
in a fun way that you don't kiss up: i.e. you give
her the present she wanted, and then you bust
on her about something else.
Be smooth about taking control- women are
VERY smooth at ensuring they do get things
done their way, simply because they feel
it is so NATURAL for things to be that way.
I'll give you an example- let's say a woman
wants to go to x restaurant and you want to
go to y café. She might say something to
you like "So do you want to go to x
restaurant at 8 or at 7:30?" In other words,
a loaded question- she is pretending that
no other options exist.
Yeah, this happens all the time with
most women, if you are giving a
WEAK FRAME to begin with.
It won't happen though nearly as often
if you just establish the right frame to
begin with.
You have to learn to speak UP, and STOP
smooth moves like this from surreptitiously
taking over your frame. You might think
that a woman would LIKE it when you give
her what she wants. You might think that
a woman would LIKE to be validated.
Well, she might like it, for a second,
but she is not ATTRACTED to the man
that feels the insecure NEED to give
her this validation in the hopes that
she will then like him more for it.
Guys forget that once someone HAS
something, they don't appreciate it.
AND once someone has something,
they tend to want MORE. So giving
women every trivial thing they want
so easily, only digs you deeper into
the abyss of abuse.
Not only that, but women are SICK
of guys who just want to do what
women want- because the reality is
that women who are hot often really
have never had a chance to think
about what they really want, since
everyone keeps GIVING them everything!
Ask a woman what she wants:
She'll tell you a nice guy. And then see
what type of men she has actually gone with.
These are the men who provide them with a
CHALLENGE, who are able to hold their OWN
self-esteem without the approval of any
woman.
Women need men who have very CLEAR ideas
of what the MEN want.
So be even SMOOTHER than women
are, for both women's benefit and
your own.
By the way, don't get me wrong:
I don't advocate being a JERK with
women. If you saw or heard me speaking
with a woman, you'd notice that both she
and I were probably laughing more than
anything, and also just having an interesting
conversation and sometimes just kicking
back and not saying anything at all.
It's impossible in the space of these
newsletters to convey all the subtle details
of how everything works. There is a ton
more that I explain in my book, and of
course in my advanced programs.
Let me wrap up by saying that I also believe
that guys need to learn to NOT REQUIRE
validation from anyone, ESPECIALLY not
from chicks. I know this goes against the
whole notion of romantic fairy tales, but
then again those things kind of screwed
us all up, especially since THESE DAYS we
don't even get the nice feminine part of
romance.
In the days of the romantic tales, women
gave men a certain amount of automatic
respect. Romance today is impossible
until you regain more power. And that
can only happen if you follow the stuff
I teach, seriously.
And if you would like to learn EXACTLY
how to reclaim your attractive power as
a man, and also learn how to MASSIVELY
SKYROCKET your INNER GAME, and also
learn EXACTLY how to APPLY this all when
you encounter women ANYWHERE, then I
seriously suggest you get my Attraction
Mastery program.
It's the finest program on this topic, anywhere.
The culmination of years of my exclusive
dedication to it.
And it can now be at your fingertips, 24/7.
It's at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
For the BOOTCAMP experience, where
I will take you under my exclusive wing
and TRAIN you for TWO FULL DAYS AND NIGHTS
as we do it all on women in real time, go to:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you haven't yet downloaded my latest
program, The Charismatic Man, then do that
now at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/charismatic-man.html
Till next time,
Michael
Sunday, December 25, 2011
7 Tips That WORK For Approaching Women
There are TONS of crucial insights that I want to
share with you today on successfully approaching
and attracting women who are total strangers.
Please keep in mind that what you are about to
read all comes from REAL LIFE evidence based
on THOUSANDS of examples from my Real World
Bootcamps where the goal is simple:
Teach men how to approach and attract women,
anywhere, instantly- and get live results
on women that they can see immediately.
So every word you are about to see has been
examined and cross-examined in REAL LIFE
from every angle for ACCURACY and TRUTH.
Here we go:
NUMBER ONE: AUTHORITY
When you are approaching a woman at a place
that is NOT an official ‘meat-market’, she is
far more likely to wonder what’s going on than
if you approached her at a dance club or some
other venue that is all about mingling with new
people.
So, therefore, it’s important that you BYPASS
this potential problem IMMEDIATELY by
pouring on the AUTHORITY in your tonality
and in your mannerisms.
Remember, this is NOT a club where it’s all
about socializing. And you do NOT want to
come across as a weirdo OR as desperate.
You avoid all these problems by pouring on the
authority.
In bootcamp, a lot of guys ask me, “But is it
NORMAL for this to happen? Won’t she
still wonder what the heck is going on?”
The answer is that when you come in with
AUTHORITY, she’s not wondering ANYTHING!
INSTEAD, she is FEELING one thing that can be
summed up as the following statement in her mind:
“It’s important that I LISTEN to what this guy
has to say.”
I didn’t say she wants to make LOVE right away.
But she DOES feel it’s important to GENUINELY
listen to what you have to SAY.
And that’s all you NEED, because this buys you
an IN to the conversation, and sets the foundation
right for all the right vibes of you being ‘the man’.
This is another reason why coming to Bootcamp
is so powerful, because experiencing and seeing
and hearing everything live helps you immediately
“get” exactly what I am saying here.
NUMBER TWO:
DON’T START WITH A SMILE
This is simple and related to number one, but it’s
very important.
If you are in a party atmosphere, then you can
smile, but if you are in a non-social atmosphere,
then starting with a smile just says all the wrong
things and can, ironically, creep her out.
This is why I say OBLITERATE the smile for
the first few moments, until SHE starts to really
dig into the conversation herself.
NUMBER THREE:
DON’T START WITH QUESTIONS,
ESPECIALLY BORING ONES
When you approach a woman who is a total
stranger, you need to convey in indirect ways
who YOU are before you can expect her to
do anything for YOU.
That just makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
So instead, start with a COMMENT about something
RELEVANT, and make that comment interesting.
For example, at this time of year, if you were
in a busy store in a mall, it could be a comment
about ‘how important it is to not forget that behind
all the things people are buying, should be the
THOUGHT and the GENUINE caring for another
human being, as opposed to emphasizing the
material elements’.
NUMBER FOUR:
LISTEN, AND LISTEN WELL
Then, when she comments back to you, you LISTEN
to whatever she is saying, and you ‘pick up’ on what
she is saying.
Remember, if you want to ‘pick up’ a girl, then forget
the pick up lines and instead focus to ‘pick-up’ ON
what she is saying!
Her feedback to you is CRUCIAL for how you respond.
This is where the "pick up line" mentality ruins guys, because
men get caught up on their memorized pick up lines and in
performing an "act", that they forget to LISTEN and to be
in the MOMENT!
So let’s say she says back to you something like:
“Yes, it is so important, I just came back from
visiting so-and-so country/city/family/friend
and they/it/he/she said xyz that made me realize
abc.”
Now, with this, you have a ton to reply back to her with
that actually connects specifically with HER as opposed
to any other woman in the world.
So now YOU stand out as being a lot more than just
another guy who spits out pick up lines to women.
NUMBER FIVE:
GENUINE VALIDATION
It’s important to understand here that you are dealing
with a woman who is a TOTAL stranger, so social skills
must be super POLISHED in order to quickly bridge the
distance from stranger to man-she-wants-to-know.
Human communication, at its emotional primal roots, is
really about confirmation.
It’s the reason behind the social greeting and response
of “hello”.
The real point behind “hello” and “how are you” and
“very well, thanks” between total strangers is not
necessarily to ask all the details, but to CONFIRM
each other’s WORTH.
This is known as confirming feedback, confirming each
other socially, and this is the REAL point of mutual “hellos”.
Well, to AMPLIFY the effect of this confirmation, you
want to find a MEANINGFUL way of expressing it.
You do this by listening to what she is saying so you can
find something you GENUINELY respect about her,
and you then express that.
So, for example, let’s say it’s Friday night at the mall,
bookstore, and there are tons of people around because
the movie theater is nearby and most people are seeing
movies.
And this woman is checking out books by herself.
You approach her, with the right authority, you make
a comment that is relevant, she gives you feedback,
and then discover that she is genuinely looking for
a book for herself for enjoyment, and that this is the
reason she came out tonight.
You might GENUINELY VALIDATE her with
something like this:
“Oh, you’re actually here for yourself on a Friday night?
You’re definitely not the kind of person that conforms
and just follows the crowd. You’re independent minded
and think for yourself.”
Here’s the other thing too:
Once you detect that a woman has something positive
you respect about her, well THEN it’s okay to ask
a question, such as “How did you get to know so
much about xyz topic?”
She will very likely ENJOY telling you the answer.
NUMBER SIX:
IT’S STILL ALL SEXUAL
This is one of those things that’s all INTERNAL.
You don’t SAY sexual things to her in a place that
is not a nightclub designed for making out and
dancing, but you SHOULD be in a sexual state.
This means that in your mind, you are not
ASHAMED of the fact you are approaching
her because you find her ATTRACTIVE.
It ALSO means, that in a subtle way, through
your demeanor and expression and tonality,
that you are suggesting that all this small talk
is your way of showing RESPECT.
This is a very important distinction.
You see, it should be that you COULD go right
up to her and be DIRECT and say, “Hi, I wanted
to get to learn more about you since I found you
attractive and would like to know if we could
get along and if we share core values” but the
reason you don’t do this is not because YOU
don’t have the guts to be direct, it’s because
you know that this is simply too direct for our
culture.
But, at YOUR emotional CORE, YOU should
be feeling this matter-of-fact-direct about the
whole interaction.
YOU realize that this more elaborate way of
approaching a woman that I am describing is
the way to SUCCESFFULY do it, however
you also know that I am telling you that
DEEP DOWN, a woman DOES know what
is going on, she just APPRECIATES the
fact that you are RESPECTING THE DAMN
PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, THE TRUTH IS A WOMAN INDEED
WOULD LIKE TO SKIP RIGHT TO THE FUN
STUFF!!!!
HOWEVER, SHE ALSO FEELS THIS IS
WAYYYYYYYY TOO RISKY AND THAT
THE MORE ELABORATE PROCESS IS
SAFER.
Okay, that is the culture we live in, alright?
So let’s show some respect for the PROCESS.
Because ultimately, if you do want her to enjoy
screaming your name in delight in bed, then you
will respect the process that WORKS to get that
result.
At the same time, your EMOTIONAL state is
still sexual, you are NOT just trying to have
a conversation, in your mind indeed IS the
fact that she IS a woman and you are a man.
This conversation stuff is just you showing
respect for the PROCESS. But underneath
it all is the sexual animal.
This mindset DOES affect your expressions,
your tonality, and your behavior in all the
right ways, and a woman WILL register them
ALL as well subconsciously, and these are all
GOOD things for increasing her attraction.
NUMBER SEVEN:
SPRINKLE IN SOME CONFIDENT PLAYFULNESS
At any point in this interaction, feel free to
sprinkle in some PLAYFULNESS.
I said SPRINKLE, not DROWN.
So, for example, even at a meaningful moment such
as you and her speaking about caring about a fellow
human being, you could still playfully say..
“Of course, charity begins at home, so I always make
sure to get myself something fun too..”
And this could even lead to a bit more playfulness:
“If you’re a good girl, you might even get my number.”
SPRINKLE with confident playfulness, and she feels you
are a fun, confident guy.
DROWN with confident playfulness, and she figures you
are immature or arrogant.
A man with real confidence does not need to constantly
suggest he is desirable.
And if you are reading this right now, and would like
to SKYROCKET your success with women in the
absolute fastest time possible, I suggest you contact
me to reserve a private exclusive 1-to-1 bootcamp
with me IMMEDIATELY.
In bootcamp, it’s just you, me, and about a million women
of every different type who live in the city.
That means for two entire days, every second is spent
instructing you and only you, so that you get up to speed
on every crucial skill involved in successfully approaching
and attracting the women of your choice.
It really is that simple.
I will show you EVERYTHING, in PERSON.
You are getting the benefit of my knowledge, and
my experience, and real life exclusive private
instruction, all on absolutely real situations
with tons of women.
This allows you to get accelerated results that
are faster than absolutely ANYONE else can
give you on the planet Earth.
Most men spend their entire LIVES trying to learn
how to attract women through trial-and-error.
During this process, men usually get drained of
energy, emotions, money, and precious TIME.
It does not have to be this way.
In two days of IMMERSION with me, in my
‘Real World Bootcamp’, you will GET the skills
to successfully approach and attract women
ANYWHERE.
I’ve been doing this for about ten YEARS, so
I know my stuff. That means I don’t just know
how to do it MYSELF, I also know how to
TEACH IT in a way that you can quickly
UNDERSTAND and USE it on women.
All the knowledge I have would still be USELESS
if I didn’t also have the EXPERIENCE in actually
TEACHING it.
Get this training and get this part of your life
HANDLED now, once and for all.
And if you reserve before December 31st, you can
still lock in your bootcamp in 2012 for the
2011 rate!
To sign up or to learn more, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my
ATTRACTION MASTERY PROGRAM,
then definitely do that now.
This program is the ‘MOTHERLOAD’ and contains
over 10 HOURS of cream-of-the-crop insights
and strategies on how to attract women in
ANY situation. This program will serve you
well with women for LIFE.
Every man who is serious about getting the part
of his life known as “attracting women, dating,
and relationships” should own this program.
It’s all at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
share with you today on successfully approaching
and attracting women who are total strangers.
Please keep in mind that what you are about to
read all comes from REAL LIFE evidence based
on THOUSANDS of examples from my Real World
Bootcamps where the goal is simple:
Teach men how to approach and attract women,
anywhere, instantly- and get live results
on women that they can see immediately.
So every word you are about to see has been
examined and cross-examined in REAL LIFE
from every angle for ACCURACY and TRUTH.
Here we go:
NUMBER ONE: AUTHORITY
When you are approaching a woman at a place
that is NOT an official ‘meat-market’, she is
far more likely to wonder what’s going on than
if you approached her at a dance club or some
other venue that is all about mingling with new
people.
So, therefore, it’s important that you BYPASS
this potential problem IMMEDIATELY by
pouring on the AUTHORITY in your tonality
and in your mannerisms.
Remember, this is NOT a club where it’s all
about socializing. And you do NOT want to
come across as a weirdo OR as desperate.
You avoid all these problems by pouring on the
authority.
In bootcamp, a lot of guys ask me, “But is it
NORMAL for this to happen? Won’t she
still wonder what the heck is going on?”
The answer is that when you come in with
AUTHORITY, she’s not wondering ANYTHING!
INSTEAD, she is FEELING one thing that can be
summed up as the following statement in her mind:
“It’s important that I LISTEN to what this guy
has to say.”
I didn’t say she wants to make LOVE right away.
But she DOES feel it’s important to GENUINELY
listen to what you have to SAY.
And that’s all you NEED, because this buys you
an IN to the conversation, and sets the foundation
right for all the right vibes of you being ‘the man’.
This is another reason why coming to Bootcamp
is so powerful, because experiencing and seeing
and hearing everything live helps you immediately
“get” exactly what I am saying here.
NUMBER TWO:
DON’T START WITH A SMILE
This is simple and related to number one, but it’s
very important.
If you are in a party atmosphere, then you can
smile, but if you are in a non-social atmosphere,
then starting with a smile just says all the wrong
things and can, ironically, creep her out.
This is why I say OBLITERATE the smile for
the first few moments, until SHE starts to really
dig into the conversation herself.
NUMBER THREE:
DON’T START WITH QUESTIONS,
ESPECIALLY BORING ONES
When you approach a woman who is a total
stranger, you need to convey in indirect ways
who YOU are before you can expect her to
do anything for YOU.
That just makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
So instead, start with a COMMENT about something
RELEVANT, and make that comment interesting.
For example, at this time of year, if you were
in a busy store in a mall, it could be a comment
about ‘how important it is to not forget that behind
all the things people are buying, should be the
THOUGHT and the GENUINE caring for another
human being, as opposed to emphasizing the
material elements’.
NUMBER FOUR:
LISTEN, AND LISTEN WELL
Then, when she comments back to you, you LISTEN
to whatever she is saying, and you ‘pick up’ on what
she is saying.
Remember, if you want to ‘pick up’ a girl, then forget
the pick up lines and instead focus to ‘pick-up’ ON
what she is saying!
Her feedback to you is CRUCIAL for how you respond.
This is where the "pick up line" mentality ruins guys, because
men get caught up on their memorized pick up lines and in
performing an "act", that they forget to LISTEN and to be
in the MOMENT!
So let’s say she says back to you something like:
“Yes, it is so important, I just came back from
visiting so-and-so country/city/family/friend
and they/it/he/she said xyz that made me realize
abc.”
Now, with this, you have a ton to reply back to her with
that actually connects specifically with HER as opposed
to any other woman in the world.
So now YOU stand out as being a lot more than just
another guy who spits out pick up lines to women.
NUMBER FIVE:
GENUINE VALIDATION
It’s important to understand here that you are dealing
with a woman who is a TOTAL stranger, so social skills
must be super POLISHED in order to quickly bridge the
distance from stranger to man-she-wants-to-know.
Human communication, at its emotional primal roots, is
really about confirmation.
It’s the reason behind the social greeting and response
of “hello”.
The real point behind “hello” and “how are you” and
“very well, thanks” between total strangers is not
necessarily to ask all the details, but to CONFIRM
each other’s WORTH.
This is known as confirming feedback, confirming each
other socially, and this is the REAL point of mutual “hellos”.
Well, to AMPLIFY the effect of this confirmation, you
want to find a MEANINGFUL way of expressing it.
You do this by listening to what she is saying so you can
find something you GENUINELY respect about her,
and you then express that.
So, for example, let’s say it’s Friday night at the mall,
bookstore, and there are tons of people around because
the movie theater is nearby and most people are seeing
movies.
And this woman is checking out books by herself.
You approach her, with the right authority, you make
a comment that is relevant, she gives you feedback,
and then discover that she is genuinely looking for
a book for herself for enjoyment, and that this is the
reason she came out tonight.
You might GENUINELY VALIDATE her with
something like this:
“Oh, you’re actually here for yourself on a Friday night?
You’re definitely not the kind of person that conforms
and just follows the crowd. You’re independent minded
and think for yourself.”
Here’s the other thing too:
Once you detect that a woman has something positive
you respect about her, well THEN it’s okay to ask
a question, such as “How did you get to know so
much about xyz topic?”
She will very likely ENJOY telling you the answer.
NUMBER SIX:
IT’S STILL ALL SEXUAL
This is one of those things that’s all INTERNAL.
You don’t SAY sexual things to her in a place that
is not a nightclub designed for making out and
dancing, but you SHOULD be in a sexual state.
This means that in your mind, you are not
ASHAMED of the fact you are approaching
her because you find her ATTRACTIVE.
It ALSO means, that in a subtle way, through
your demeanor and expression and tonality,
that you are suggesting that all this small talk
is your way of showing RESPECT.
This is a very important distinction.
You see, it should be that you COULD go right
up to her and be DIRECT and say, “Hi, I wanted
to get to learn more about you since I found you
attractive and would like to know if we could
get along and if we share core values” but the
reason you don’t do this is not because YOU
don’t have the guts to be direct, it’s because
you know that this is simply too direct for our
culture.
But, at YOUR emotional CORE, YOU should
be feeling this matter-of-fact-direct about the
whole interaction.
YOU realize that this more elaborate way of
approaching a woman that I am describing is
the way to SUCCESFFULY do it, however
you also know that I am telling you that
DEEP DOWN, a woman DOES know what
is going on, she just APPRECIATES the
fact that you are RESPECTING THE DAMN
PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, THE TRUTH IS A WOMAN INDEED
WOULD LIKE TO SKIP RIGHT TO THE FUN
STUFF!!!!
HOWEVER, SHE ALSO FEELS THIS IS
WAYYYYYYYY TOO RISKY AND THAT
THE MORE ELABORATE PROCESS IS
SAFER.
Okay, that is the culture we live in, alright?
So let’s show some respect for the PROCESS.
Because ultimately, if you do want her to enjoy
screaming your name in delight in bed, then you
will respect the process that WORKS to get that
result.
At the same time, your EMOTIONAL state is
still sexual, you are NOT just trying to have
a conversation, in your mind indeed IS the
fact that she IS a woman and you are a man.
This conversation stuff is just you showing
respect for the PROCESS. But underneath
it all is the sexual animal.
This mindset DOES affect your expressions,
your tonality, and your behavior in all the
right ways, and a woman WILL register them
ALL as well subconsciously, and these are all
GOOD things for increasing her attraction.
NUMBER SEVEN:
SPRINKLE IN SOME CONFIDENT PLAYFULNESS
At any point in this interaction, feel free to
sprinkle in some PLAYFULNESS.
I said SPRINKLE, not DROWN.
So, for example, even at a meaningful moment such
as you and her speaking about caring about a fellow
human being, you could still playfully say..
“Of course, charity begins at home, so I always make
sure to get myself something fun too..”
And this could even lead to a bit more playfulness:
“If you’re a good girl, you might even get my number.”
SPRINKLE with confident playfulness, and she feels you
are a fun, confident guy.
DROWN with confident playfulness, and she figures you
are immature or arrogant.
A man with real confidence does not need to constantly
suggest he is desirable.
And if you are reading this right now, and would like
to SKYROCKET your success with women in the
absolute fastest time possible, I suggest you contact
me to reserve a private exclusive 1-to-1 bootcamp
with me IMMEDIATELY.
In bootcamp, it’s just you, me, and about a million women
of every different type who live in the city.
That means for two entire days, every second is spent
instructing you and only you, so that you get up to speed
on every crucial skill involved in successfully approaching
and attracting the women of your choice.
It really is that simple.
I will show you EVERYTHING, in PERSON.
You are getting the benefit of my knowledge, and
my experience, and real life exclusive private
instruction, all on absolutely real situations
with tons of women.
This allows you to get accelerated results that
are faster than absolutely ANYONE else can
give you on the planet Earth.
Most men spend their entire LIVES trying to learn
how to attract women through trial-and-error.
During this process, men usually get drained of
energy, emotions, money, and precious TIME.
It does not have to be this way.
In two days of IMMERSION with me, in my
‘Real World Bootcamp’, you will GET the skills
to successfully approach and attract women
ANYWHERE.
I’ve been doing this for about ten YEARS, so
I know my stuff. That means I don’t just know
how to do it MYSELF, I also know how to
TEACH IT in a way that you can quickly
UNDERSTAND and USE it on women.
All the knowledge I have would still be USELESS
if I didn’t also have the EXPERIENCE in actually
TEACHING it.
Get this training and get this part of your life
HANDLED now, once and for all.
And if you reserve before December 31st, you can
still lock in your bootcamp in 2012 for the
2011 rate!
To sign up or to learn more, go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my
ATTRACTION MASTERY PROGRAM,
then definitely do that now.
This program is the ‘MOTHERLOAD’ and contains
over 10 HOURS of cream-of-the-crop insights
and strategies on how to attract women in
ANY situation. This program will serve you
well with women for LIFE.
Every man who is serious about getting the part
of his life known as “attracting women, dating,
and relationships” should own this program.
It’s all at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Mastery.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)