Showing posts with label how to banish neediness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to banish neediness. Show all posts

Friday, March 23, 2012

To Attract A Gorgeous Woman, Be The Man Who Can HANDLE Her Full Power

The reason why most men don't succeed in attracting
the women they want is because they make these
women feel the need to have to RESTRAIN their
sexual power.

All the ass-kissing behavior toward hot women makes
these women feel the need to be "polite" to men,
which ironically is almost the opposite of all that is
SEXUAL.

All that 'nice' style behavior leads to being in the
FRIEND zone, where you get lots of POLITE
behavior from women.

What you WANT is to actually ENCOURAGE women
to let loose ALL THE POWER that women have, and 
then SHOW women that not only can you HANDLE it, 
but that you are actually living in an even MORE 
powerful emotional plane of existence.      

This is a plane of existence that WOMEN will have to
fight to keep UP with, which is what these super
hot women have NEVER experienced before.

Allow me to elaborate on this whole dynamic:

"Every battle is won or lost before it is ever fought."
The above is a famous quote Sun Tsu: The Art of War,
and there are definitely parallels to the art of
attracting women.

Now, I don't like to only look at attraction
and pick up as a "battle" because pick up can
actually be a lot of FUN, and ultimately win-win
for both you and the woman, but the fact is, if
the 'pick-up' has a chance of succeeding in the
first place, then it is usually won or lost before
it even begins.

This is because so much must already be
going on internally before you start, whether
you are new and CONSCIOUS of it at first,
or whether you are experienced and it's all
internalized and automatic.

A woman, just like a man, wants the best.
And immediately, when a guy starts
an interaction with a woman, if he is
controlling the frame and maintaining
the frame that he is superior, even if
done playfully, she will very often TRY
to PUT HER FRAME OF REALITY 
onto HIM.

For example, she will try to get him to kiss
up, or she will try to show him she is in the
superior position, whether she does
this playfully, explicitly, or even brutally.

Now, let me say, if a woman ever acts in
a way that is TRULY insensitive, then
I would just SKIP her, but it's important
to realize that in a FIRST encounter with
a total stranger, a woman who is really
attractive can simply NOT make it TOO
easy, or she'd have to go out with
EVERY guy on Earth who talks to her!  

PLUS, for a super smoking-hot attractive
woman, being a bit CHALLENGING is simply
her mode of FLIRTATION. 


Remember, she is living in a reality where her
FRAME of existence, her PERSPECTIVE 
on things is DIFFERENT from most people
when it comes to DATING.

She's not trying to be MEAN.  She is coming
from a SUPER SECURE perspective, it's like
she is SUPERWOMAN and can KNOCKOUT
any guy by saying the wrong words unless she is
very careful.

Hence, she is often acting POLITE, with the guys
who kiss her ass.  Not sexual, and not honest, but
POLITE.

When she meets a man who seems like he CAN
TAKE HER FULL POWER, she can't WAIT
to unleash and be playful and fun and challenging
BACK to him, but MOST MEN, if these men
even HAVE the guts to START being challenging
with her, these same men usually just BUCKLE
in "defeat" when she CONTINUES to be challenging
back, even in playful flirting form!

You see, SHE HERSELF can TAKE THE FLIRTING,
she can TAKE the challenge, she ENJOYS it all,
she is on a SUPERWOMAN level of confidence. 

When it comes to her communication with most men,
she has to "PULL her punches".

She is like a RACE-CAR that ENJOYS
super challenging SPEED, and is actually
MORE COMFORTABLE in that reality
of power and speed, and so when you flirt
back with EQUAL power, you are conveying
the message that you are in the SAME reality.

However, since most guys are only
experiencing an emotional perspective
that is more like a GO-KART than a
FERRARI, they can't psychologically
FATHOM how this type of challenging
behavior is actually an attractive
woman's way of FLIRTING.

So most men resort to GO-KART light style
"kiss ass" communication, and then she responds
with POLITE and NON SEXUAL interest,
as she RESTRAINS her full power.

But if you show a lot more POWER, you
then begin to turn her ON, as she ENGAGES
you as an EQUAL and starts to LET LOOSE
her full power.

For example, a woman may tell a guy, in response
to his challenging comment to her, she may say,
"Does this work for you? This jerk act?"

So, the guy who is in GO KART perspective, 

he feels intimidated, or hurt, or insecure.

The FERRARI perspective feels, 
"IT'S ON!" with her, the FLIRTATION
dance has begun, the first step toward physical
intimacy is the playful vibes that ping-pong
back and forth between her and the man
who 'GETS' this on a deep internal level.

Here's another example:

Let's say you tease her on something about
her playfully.
She may say something
back to you that seems to be in her
favor
, i.e. if she is younger, she might
say, "Thanks, but I'm busy and you
are much older than me, bye grandpa!".


But REMEMBER, if she REALLY didn't want
to talk to you, she would SHUT DOWN, she
would not say ANYTHING to invite FURTHER
response from you.

Or she may say something like:
"So are these other girls that you know
(if you were at a club and chatting
with a bunch of women rather than
being a "Nice" guy who is sitting and
waiting for HER to finish talking to
HER entourage of guys)
around you to
make you seem more impressive? I
think it's just sleazy."


Do you get the picture here? The basic
idea is that when you do the RIGHT
things to attract a woman, she may not
SHOW it with her WORDS, and in fact she
may RESIST what you are doing, and it's
even possible she might NOT LOVE it
at first.

On one hand, she doesn't LIKE it because
it means she is LOSING ground.

She is used to being the superior.
And it feels COMFORTABLE being
the superior.

She feels COMFORTABLE around the
guys who kiss her ass. She LIKES them.

Yet, you have to REALIZE that
LIKING is not the same as
FEELING ATTRACTION.

Not the same thing at ALL.

You don't want a woman liking you.
You want her attracted to you.

Liking is what she feels for her GIRLFRIENDS.

That's not what you want.

You want to IGNITE THE FLAMES OF ATTRACTION.

And she can ONLY feel attraction to a
man she can RESPECT.


And she can't respect the men who just
MELT for her.

Ultimately, from an ATTRACTION standpoint,
she WANTS you to be the man that FLIPS
the script on her normal routine of,
"I'm the hot woman here, I'm the one
who RULES!".


She wants to feel that YOU are the one
with SUPERIOR power, because only THEN
can she go into FULL FERRARI MODE,
and really feel free to FLOOR the accelerator
and challenge her FULL potential. 

With all the guys who MELT around her,
she's forcing herself to constantly
have to RESTRAIN her full power,
to almost act like a GO KART with
all the 'nice guys' and be POLITE
with them, since they are GO KARTS.

With the man who understands all this,
and is emotionally feeling and behaving
even MORE POWERFUL THAN HER,
she can finally LET LOOSE and be
the FERRARI that she really IS! 

And that includes being that crazy wild 
FERRARI in the BEDROOM with you!

I know, I know, it all sounds politically
incorrect. But keep in mind, this does
NOT mean that she wants you to be MEAN
to her, especially AFTER she falls for you. 

It does not mean that you can't show
sensitivity to her. In fact, my book
"Get A Great Girl" is CRUCIAL for
understanding exactly HOW all of THAT
fits into the context of pick up,
dating, and relationships.

But as far as SPARKING INITIAL ATTRACTION,
it's about behaving as one with superior value.

So, it's damn crucial that when she
RESISTS your frame of superiority,
you do not BUCKLE under her pressure.


So, for example, when she says,
"Does this work for you?" your
reply MUST be the REPLY of
a guy who KNOWS HE IS SUPERIOR.

So, if you are superior, I ask you
this - would you even TRY to
answer? If you knew you were
MORE desirable than her, would
you feel NERVOUS, would you
feel a need to prove your worth?

So here's an example of a reply that
shows your superiority:

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

You've FLIPPED it around here,
because the FRAME she was trying
to force on the situation was:
"You, mister, are a loser, because
you are just putting on an act and
in fact are not superior at all."

The non spoken verbal from her, is:
"And by the way, I see this act from
a lot of guys, and they are really little
ass-kissers as soon as I give them a
little attention- I OWN them."


So when you say back to her, with
congruency that flows from your
real beliefs, "Wouldn't you like to
know", you are implying that she
would like to know, and the only
reason anyone wants to know
anything is because they CARE.

And you can't CARE unless something
has VALUE. So the implication is that
she WANTS YOU.

And even if she at first DIDN'T, the fact
is, your CONGRUENCY (which means the level
of ONGOING consistency between the messages
of superiority from your words, your beliefs,
your tonality, your sense of humor, and your
actions at even the most microscopic levels
at all times is 100% ) by KEEPING UP THE
FRAME OF YOUR SUPERIORITY even 
under her pressure will cause her to SHIFT
her feelings about you VERY QUICKLY.

This is why if you are needy, you can't
make it work, because if you are needy
for approval and affection, you simply
will buckle in one way or another,
even if it's not in your actual words.

For example, if you are needy for approval,
and she challenges your behavior, you
might start an ARGUMENT with her,
i.e. about how all women will SAY
that they don't want this behavior,
but that in reality they do respond to
this, and that you INSIST this is the
truth, and how it pisses you off that
women don't admit it.

And having such an argument is proof
that you are NOT superior, because it
shows you are losing control and getting
pissed for not getting what you want,
because you want it so badly, because
in fact you are not getting approval
from women. THIS IS WHAT
WOMEN WILL FEEL if you respond
with such a logical argument
-they will
feel that you are not superior because
you have proved that they matter
so much as to get you all emotional
and in need of an argument to prove
yourself.

So, notice how the reply of:
"Wouldn't you like to know" is also
BRIEF.

Less words means you put less EFFORT
into it. And that means you are not trying
hard. And that means superiority.

So that's just ONE example of a response
to her question/comment of, "So does this
jerk act work for you".

As opposed to getting all nervous and
laughing nervously and saying ,"Why
not, I'm experimenting with new
things". And even THAT to be honest
CAN work once you understand the
power of delivery and how the words
themselves don't matter because
the delivery implies most of the
message. But still, I think that
understanding the power of the
wording of something like,
"Wouldn't you like to know"
really helps you understand the
GOAL you are shooting for in terms
of the message you want to be
sending.

You will notice an IMMEDIATE change
in her demeanor toward you if you
MAINTAIN your frame of superiority
while under her pressure and efforts to
destroy your frame. Keep in mind,
she is doing most of this subconsciously.

It's as simple as her wanting to cling
to her position of being in charge, which
is what she gets from most guys. And
all that she gets is a feeling of comfort,
but not attraction.
But she does not
want to willingly give up the comfort for
attraction.

This is why no woman wants to have to
EXPLAIN to you how to be the man
that turns her on.  If she has to explain
it, she feels you are NOT that man!
  
You MUST truly embrace this fact, she does
not WANT to give up the comfort of having
CONTROL. Human nature is such that
we work harder to prevent loss than we do
to achieve a gain.

So once you understand that she will
NEVER give up power unless she feels
ATTRACTION, and once you realize
that no matter how much you try to
get her to be ATTRACTED to you
by appealing to her sense of NICENESS
all that does is just make her feel even
MORE likely to want to keep you as
a FRIEND for comfort and not as a
MAN for attraction, you are then
ready to now take the RIGHT action. 

You MUST realize that there is NO
POINT to trying to make her LIKE
you, (not yet anyway, that comes
after, the liking part comes AFTER
she is attracted, and it's important
then, but that's another topic) as
a method for getting her attracted.

You must instead ONLY focus at first
on getting her ATTRACTED. And that
has nothing to do, at first, with getting her

to LIKE you.

And if you keep up the frame of superiority,
she WILL feel attracted to you, whether she
WANTS TO OR NOT. In fact, she probably
WON'T WANT TO FEEL it and it may even
piss her off that she IS feeling attracted!!!

This is where some of the classic
movies have scenes where the
leading lady says something like,
"I hate you" and then she grabs
the guy and starts making out
with him hardcore.

Similarly, for the other situations
I mentioned, i.e. the "grandpa"
comment, it's crucial to immediately
reframe things by giving the response
that is congruent to the response
of a guy who is superior, which
sometimes is no response at all,
by the way.

But in the grandpa case, you could do
a whole lot of things, like,
"Well the
whole reason I came over was because
in that hat you're wearing I thought you
WERE my granny. Anyway, I gotta get going
and eat some prunes, see ya!" And turn
around to walk away.


You see, this is the kind of thing you
would REALLY do if you FELT YOU
HAD THE VALUE. Number one,
you flip the frame around on her
and get her to question HER SELF.
After all, those who can dish it out
should be able to take it right back?

The only reason you previously thought
that you can't dish it back is because
you previously felt she was so precious
and so holy that you felt it was "unthinkable"
to dish it back.

But the part I think is even BETTER is
THE FOLLOW-UP, because when you
say you "have to eat some prunes", you
are TOTALLY SHOWING that you
are NOT AFFECTED at all, (you are
GOING with it rather than trying
to get all defensive) and that
in fact it's kinda FUNNY that she
would even say that to you!

And then, turning around to walk away,
is golden, because you are clearly not
walking away with your tail between
your legs, but rather walking away
laughing as if life is a barrel of fun,
which it IS for you, and you clearly
are on your way to have some more
fun and most likely meet a cooler
chick that GETS it.

And SHE realizes this as well, and I promise

you that in THE VAST MAJORITY
OF CASES, especially if the girl is HOT,
she will then start to chase YOU.


How do I know this stuff?
Because none of what I have mentioned
here in this newsletter is made up-
it's all real stuff that has actually
happened. I'm so absolutely confident
about it, that I urge you to go out
and try it.

You should actually look FORWARD to
situations where women are giving
you the CHANCE to show how awesome
you are by REFRAMING any challenging
comment in such a way that it reflects
YOUR superiority, because it's THIS
"reframing" that turns women ON.

What you've just read here is important
stuff, and yet it's just the TIP OF THE
ICEBERG.


To get this and ALL THE OTHER skills MASTERED
by learning it all in PERSON directly from me
as I coach you on real women in tons of places,
sign up for THE REAL WORLD BOOTCAMP.

This is your chance to get your attraction
skills ingrained, through ONE-ON-ONE exclusive
training with me. You will be learning in real
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to you first-hand and up close, and you will
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can easily digest it all and internalize these skills.

It's at:

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And if you haven't yet downloaded my "specialization"
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then DEFINITELY get started on that IMMEDIATELY.

Each of these programs is PACKED with an
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Till next time,

Michael Marks

Saturday, March 6, 2010

How To Banish Neediness

One of the worst tortures that any man
can go through on earth is being obsessed
with one woman who doesn't seem to
understand him, love him, or want him.

A similar torture is being obsessed with the
fear of LOSING a woman.  This insecurity
is fueled by neediness, and the sad part is
that the fear can become a self-fulfilling
prophecy, as it will trigger unattractive
behaviors that will often push even a
good woman away.

In fact, the whole story of "Darth Vader" is
really sparked by his neediness for a woman!

His insecurities and fears cause him nightmares
that he will lose the woman he loves, and also
causes him to see infidelities that never even
existed.

So the most famous downfall of a filmic
character, the greatest filmic tragedy of all,
is really about a man who has lost out to his
neediness for a woman.

I don't say this as a joke, but to underline
how powerful and how painful this whole
issue is of wanting to feel that level of
security that a woman is going to never
leave you, or that she loves you, etc.
                                                        
The reality is that the the ability to not be
OVERWHELMED by these emotions
is what truly marks our development
as great men.
It all boils down to getting over the FEAR
of this potential loss.  Once we can can
ACCEPT this potential loss, and still
realize we can be okay, then we are
able to stop obsessing about it.

THEN we are ready for handling the dating
process, the relationship, and being with
the right woman.

We have to realize that our fears are not
the external world really, our fears are
what WE create ourselves in our heads,
we THINK we have all these things to fear.

Just like that scene in Empire Strikes Back,
where Luke enters the cave and Yoda tells
him he won't need his lightsaber or any
other weapons in there.

Luke doesn't believe him, of course, so he
takes his lightsaber into the cave, and
then sees what he thinks is Darth Vader
and then when he strikes at Vader his
greatest fear is made apparent- he sees
that behind Vader's mask is actually
his OWN reflection, and his fear of
course is that he will ALSO become
like Vader by giving into his own fears
as well.

It's a very poignant message when it comes
to women as well.

The fear of not being loved, or of losing love, is HELL.

Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling destroys a man of his confidence, and robs him of his charisma and sense of humor,
not only with her, but with ALL women, which makes his results even worse, which then makes him feel even worse, and so on.

So what I'd like to do today is help any man reading this to stop the addiction to being obsessed with a woman who is not loving him back.

It's often good guys who are doing this,
so it's especially important to me to
write this article.

Meanwhile jerks always think they are
great and that they are the prize, and
would NEVER pursue a woman who
isn't reciprocating, etc.

So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing
over ONE woman, I want you to take
notice of the following things:

1. How much time have you REALLY spent with
OTHER women lately?

2. How much time have you been FANTASIZING
about how GREAT and PERFECT things would
be if you just had HER?

3. How much ACTION have you actually took
to meet OTHER women?

These three actions form a "perfect storm" of
DISASTER to your emotions.

See, what happens is that rather than living in
the REALITY of having to take ACTION to
meet other women, it's much easier (even though
it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to
fantasize about some dream concept with
some woman who you aren't actually
WITH.

See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy
or having to pursue something in reality, it will
ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter
how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER
match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have
created in your OWN mind.

It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.

So let's say you are obsessed with one woman,
whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce,
a woman who you love who has never loved you
back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time
the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of
FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things
"could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.

And of course, since you haven't been working
on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently
feels PARTICULARLY bad.

Presto- this creates the emotion known as
NEEDINESS.

You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you
now NEED HER for dear life.

And it really makes me sick how so many of the
BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make
themselves suffer so much, it's because they
aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to
give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who
really hasn't earned it.

This to me, is not really nice, it's a kind of nice
that comes from a good man not KNOWING the reality of
his own awesome value, and from simultaneously
distorting the value of the wrong woman by
inflating her value.

So the key is to first become AWARE of
what you are doing- you are comparing
something that is not even REAL, something
that exists only in your mind, i.e. how
PERFECT things would be if you just
HAD this woman, with what life would
be like if you took action in real life
with some other women.

The REAL LIFE can't match or compare.

And the longer you allow yourself to stay
obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself
into thinking and FEELING that the things
you've projected onto a woman are indeed
TRUE and FACTUAL.

See, humans aren't very good at determining
REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS
are always good indicators of TRUTH, and
though sometimes they are, they also sometimes
are TOTALLY WRONG.

So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions
of pining or obsessing for some woman who
hasn't done much to EARN that, you will
brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS
earned it, as if you are so low on the scale
of value that she is so awesome in comparison,
or you'll brainwash yourself of her value
in some other way, you'll actually convince
yourself that she really IS from a logical
point of view "worth it", when in reality
this is known as backwards rationalizing,
or "cognitive dissonance".

By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes
themselves, and it's almost never a good thing.

For example, some women are emotionally
irresponsible and they attribute the cause of
their negative emotions to everyone except
themselves.

If you want a quality woman in your life,
you'd be best warned to watch out for
a woman who sees herself as a victim of
everything.

The reality is that while some human beings
manage to barely walk away from an oven
in a concentration camp as a child and still
grow up emotionally stable, other people
will cry like the world is ending because
ten years ago they didn't get a fancy
video game system to play with as a kid.

Other people will blame the fact that they
weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid
for why they need to cheat on their spouse
or partner.

The bottom line is, it's not really your
CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE
that determines the meaning of those
circumstances.

But if you let your emotions RULE YOU
rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,
your emotions will pretend they are your
friends, and they will make you think that
indeed everything else in life is what is
bringing you down, but that it's not your
responsibility at all.

If you are looking for a great woman, then
be on the lookout for how consistent she is
in being in a positive frame of mind, and
also be on the lookout to see how consistent
she is with maintaining a sense of moral
fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other
people in line? Does she jump to conclusions
about things? Is the rational or is she usually
basing her decisions on whatever emotion
she's feeling in the moment?

Does she insist on using condoms?

Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???

Does she work hard or does she
"feel" no work is inspiring or
worth doing?

So, don't think that it's just you who must
do this battle to conquer emotions when
they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone,
but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS,
then just start to notice how the needy
feeling you have for a woman is always
accompanied by a tendency to NOT
STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and
to instead fantasize about some made
up concept of how awesome life would
be if you "just" had this woman.

This type of thinking will actually prevent
you from ever GETTING a great woman,
because a great woman has got her emotions
under control and would expect that you as
a MAN should FOR SURE have his.

Mind you, great men and great women are
EXTREMELY RARE.

But once you develop yourself to get into
that category, you then know how to immediately
detect one when you've found one. The difference
between her and other women and in fact between
her and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.

Getting control over your neediness is so
important, that if you don't, you won't
notice the very REAL things that a woman
will be doing to you including things that
are not cool at all.

So for example, a woman who you've allowed
yourself to feel too much emotion for and
she hasn't earned it, you will become
BLIND to the fact she is not truly being
faithful, or if she is a hypocrite in
other ways.

But NEEDINESS in your soul will find
A MILLION EXCUSES for it.

This is the thing, as a great man, you have to
have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash
in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also
have to have the potential COLDNESS of a
"jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you
don't become weak and make the wrong
decisions to pursue the wrong woman or
to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF
BEHAVIOR.

The moment you find yourself getting
EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in
a COLD SHOWER for an instant!

It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE
SPELL!

So the lesson for today is to become
AWARE of the FALLACY of creating
fantasies in your mind based on zero
evidence, and becoming AWARE of
how this FICTION then robs you of
the desire to actually take action in
the REAL WORLD, which is less
than perfect, but still pretty damn
AWESOME, because it's actually
REAL.

A real woman, beautiful and with a great
personality but who is not perfect, is much
better than the DISTORTED concept of
PERFECTION that you've created in
your mind of some particular woman.

Take that FIRST STEP today by actually
CHALLENGING your emotions for
EVIDENCE.

So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman,
demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is
so great. And make sure you are calm when
you are doing this, because if you do it when
needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will
believe to back up your emotions.

Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching
a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.

You know that FEAR is just
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Getting your inner game down tight is
MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.

Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been
allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold
you back with women and with life.

If you want to SKYROCKET your inner game
and confidence, as well as get the crucial insights
on how to approach women, get dates, get physical,
and have a fantastic relationship, then you need to
download my book, "Get A Great Girl" NOW.

This book is packed with fantastic advice that
you can use IMMEDIATELY to meet, attract,
and KEEP a quality woman.

It's at:

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And if you haven't got my SEDUCTION
MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM
yet, then do that now. This program is the
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It's at:

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Till next time,

Michael Marks

P.S. To check out all the programs I've designed
to help you attract a true quality woman, go to:

http://getagreatgirl.com/catalogue.php