Some really important emails came in today that
I thought I'd share with you. The answers provide
specific and IMMEDIATELY applicable strategies
that you can use right now in your interactions with
women.
These emails include critical topics such as how to
get that first hook up, to how to improve things with
a woman you are already with, to improving your
skills at online dating.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Hi Michael,
First I would like to thank you for sharing your knowledge
about dating, relationships and that stuff with the rest of
the world. After I broke up with my ex girlfriend, my
friend who read your book advised me to buy it and
read it. So I did so.
It was great! I just could not believe how "stupid" of a
nice guy I was. Being THE MAN is the most powerful
thing that could have happened to me.
And it is only because of you / your book. I broke up with
my ex girlfriend with whom I was almost two years because
I was a nice guy.
I used to buy her things, dinners... everything that nice
guys do. How stupid :)
7 days after we broke up I found a new girl. During those 7
days I read your book, of course.
First I decided to act as THE MAN, as you said, and then it
sank in finally, I actually become THE MAN.
I just can't explain how she is crazy about me. How much I
am desirable to her... sexy... and so on.
And not just that about her... there is so much good about me.
I became stronger! And it is so wonderful.
However... during this time, almost 3 months in this new
relationship, I talked to my new girlfriend about her
relationships, but discreetly. And she told me everything
about that. I also asked her if she ever had a f*&k friend...
and her answer was NO. At least she said so.
But I clearly let her now that if she ever lied to me, it is over.
She is just nothing to me.
Also, indirectly I explained to her that she should be happy
because I am with her....
And what happened now...
Last night some of my friends told me that before
me she had a f**k friend. WTF?
Of course, I didn't believe him because I KNOW her and
we talked about everything, and especially because I know
the girl who told that to my friend and that girl is a b*(ch.
But anyway a small seed of doubt is right now in me.
So I need your advice! Of course even if there was a
f(*k friend, it is just a part of her history. But what is
s(*t about that is that potential f*&k friend is my friend
who didn't tell me anything about that. It even doesn't
look like as my girlfriend and he were ever together...
I am just thinking to ask her to tell me the truth while
I am just totally cool and calm...
Suggest my what to do, please.
Thank you for your time!
Sincerely,
Peter K.
>>>>MY ANSWER<<<<
Thanks for the props on my book and my materials.
I'm going to get right to the point here:
First of all, you have to watch out what other people say,
because they could just be jealous and trying to ruin what
you have.
Second, you yourself mention that the girl who said this
stuff is a b**ch.
The MOST important thing to understand though is that
even if she DID, it is just a part of her history, exactly as
you said.
You have to understand that for girls, it's REALLY hard in
our society for them to be honest because society judges
them for this stuff like "f**k friend". ALSO, it may very well
have been that she considered it MORE than a f**k friend but
it ended up BECOMING a "ff" situation.
This is what often happens in real life. Most girls
are not exactly into ffs, because sex is far too
easy for them and therefore it becomes all about
find a guy who is really cool, and THEN they want
him for a relationship. So if you're a cool guy,
you can get a relationship no problem, and the
irony is that the cooler you are, the less needy
you are for one.
But anyway, my point is that what happens is if
the girl feels that her relationship is sinking,
she feels mixed emotions, i.e. bonding emotions
are still there, chemistry might be there but it's
way lower due to things such as lack of trust or
other issues, i.e. the guy NOT being the MAN.
The part of what you say about the potential
"f**k friend" being your friend who didn't tell
you anything about it might be because he feels
wierd about talking about it, and like you say it
might not even be true.
I suggest you don't worry about it as long as
your chick is treating you right, and you will find
out ALL the truth anyway in time, ESPECIALLY if
you DO NOT MAKE HER EVER FEEL JUDGED IN
ANY WAY. That way, she can feel that even if
she DID have the guy as a FF, it's cool to tell you
about it. Then, with a smile one day, you can ask
about it in a way that shows you will not get
upset if it is true.
Because in fact, if you are the man, then you
REALLY DON'T CARE, because you KNOW that
YOU are all that she cares about anyway!!!
Remember, what counts is that she is into YOU.
And THIS is the way to KEEP her into YOU.
And now, time for our next letter:
***LETTER***
Hi Michael,
I have been reading your newsletters for a while,
and I truly respect the way you present valuable
information to men. When I can afford it, I am
going to buy your eBook.
Two years ago, I lost my true soulmate and 21yo
fiance, #######, in a freak car accident when
she was modeling in LA. Subsequently, as a result
of the grieving period, it created a severe financial
situation and I am still trying to eliminate those debts
I have incurred.
I realize you charge for your services to have a
question answered but I am financially stricken at
the moment and was wondering if you could really
help me out this one time.
I ask a kind favour in only answering a predicament
for me that has frustrated me for quite some time.
No one I have asked in the past, has been able to
give me a definitive answer. Perhaps you are my
only hope?
I started to date online 6 months ago and I am on 16
dating sites. I feel being on as many dating sites I can
find will only increase my chances of finding what I am
looking for. I am a man who will not settle for second
best and would rather stay single than to be with someone
that's not right for me. I am a very confident & secure person.
My standards are such that I a want a hot looking girl who
is emotionally intelligent and intellectual. Much like the
caliber of my late fiancé, #######...she was a Torrie Wilson
(WWE Diva) look-a-like. She was also both compatible and
complimentary to my personality.
Now, I am not looking to replace ####### or want to find
someone exactly like her. I want to find someone of that
caliber, who can make me feel the way ####### did.
I get loads of online women emailing me directly,
overwhelmed by how good I look and how good I sound.
I even get comments on a regular basis of women telling me
I sound too good to be true or that I am every woman's
dream guy...these women literally throw themselves at me...
but unfortunately they are all women I don't find physically
attractive in any way.
Yes, I am extremely fussy and have very high standards
in the looks department. I don't mean to sound shallow
but a strong physical attraction is of major importance to me.
When I make the approach of women that I find are of
the caliber of Torrie Wilson, I keep my email short.
I always say something completely different and interesting
to what most needy, submissive and insecure men would
write to them.
It's always something that I feel you would condone me saying.
It's to the point, a few sentences long and I always make
a reference to something in their profile that is either
common to us with a slight twist or something that
intrigues me, put in a way that ordinarily should get
their attention.
Most of all I write an email to them, to give them a clear
indication that I have actually read their profile and not
sent a template email.
My question to you is this:
Why is it that over 600 hot looking local girls of all ages,
that I have contacted on 16 different dating sites, over the
last 6 months, have never replied to me or any others have
not approached me directly from my profile?
Now I will tell you, I am 38 years old. I live in *&^%$#@,
Australia. I am a very attractive guy, extremely handsome,
look 10 years younger as I look after myself very well (and
all those opinions are not mine, that's generally what all
women say when they approach me). I am masculine in all
the right ways, athletic and 6'3" tall. Now...I can't imagine
600+ women not finding me attractive at all and just
deleting my email.
There has to be some of those women who want a hot looking
guy? Right? I believe I am following your principles exactly
and it just doesn't seem to be working for me?
I have cut and pasted my online dating profile below, as
it appears on any of the sites I am on.
What is it about my profile that puts these women off?
Are they intimidated by me, don't think my photo is real,
don't find me relatable or their insecurities choose not to
want a guy like me?
I would really appreciate your input, as I am at a point where
I just don't understand why I am not getting any responses
when my late fiancé was a super hot looking girl who chased
me like there was no other man she wanted on this earth.
My profile description:
"When I get the urge to run around naked, I just drink
some Windex. It keeps me from streaking! I'm just kidding
...if I really did that I would seriously look like a blue
tongue lizard :) On a serious note, is it true that women
are like domain names? All the good ones are taken?
I am here to find out, no matter how long it takes, there
must be one left somewhere.
I am very much a versatile person who sustains a lot
of depth, yet can be affectionately playful, spontaneous
and adventurous with a witty sense of humour. My
personality is expressively pleasant and I enjoy life to
the fullest. The respect I have for a woman is such that
my approach is always genuine, honest and sincere.
I am primarily looking to explore an opportunity with
someone complimentary and compatible to see where it
may lead. I'm well educated with a university degree and
previously worked in the teaching industry but now
pursuing a more creative passion.
I'm very easy going with a down to earth nature and a
positive attitude. Expressive, articulate, creative, intelligent
and resourceful. I'm described by many as tall, dark and
handsome with a kind heart that is always considerate.
Always a man that is loyal, unconditional, compassionate,
courteous and reliable to the point you can always count
on me.
I have the confidence to be a real man not a mouse and I
know exactly what I want out of life. I am emotionally
intelligent to give a woman the very best of me and make
her feel truly appreciated. As I value the benefits of
emotional intimacy between a man and a woman.
I enjoy travel as much as anyone, often I drive to Bunnings
and check out their tool section but my favourite destination
is Pick-a-Part when the weather is good. So if you would like
to come for a scenic drive to Autobarn one day, just drop me
a line!
>>>MY RESPONSE<<<
First of all, sorry to hear about that tragedy.
Regarding your question, though, it sounds like my
message did NOT get through. It really seems that
you should review the material.
Although you said you are keeping that first initial
email brief and original, it almost sounds from the online
profile you included that you BROKE every principle
I discuss in my materials.
I say this not to criticize, just to help you realize that
there is a REASON why you are not getting results,
which means you can CHANGE THIS AROUND at
WILL.
Without turning this into a sales pitch, this is part of the
reason why getting the actual materials helps so much so
you can get the full picture of how things work with women.
Before I dissect your profile, I want to also mention to all
the guys reading this who think it's all about "looks" to
finally get that limiting belief out of their heads. A guy can
have "the looks" and clearly it's not enough.
It's about KNOW-HOW, and without it, you can have all the looks in
the world still have a tough time, although of course it will
initially open the door with most women at first.
But without at least SOME tight KNOW-HOW, that door will shut on
even the "best looking" guy. Also, I'm finding that the whole
online thing is really not that necessary if you have the
know-how in the regular world, and in fact it's all based on
the same skills and understanding of how attraction works,
with some minor modifications for online.
In my Warrior Within DVD Progrram, in addition to the
other aspects of attraction, I also get into the online dimension
of dating.
The reality is that if you can't pull the hotties in the real world,
it's not going to suddenly change online. I say this more in case
any guys out there think that they can afford to have less know-how
online. And the answer is no, you have to still have the skill.
Also, you want to simulate the real-life experience as
closely as possible, so the instant messaging feature on
most dating sites is better than having to slow everything
down through email communication, but the email thing
can work too.
Regarding your profile description, it would take me HOURS
to re-write it, but let me IMMEDIATELY point out some of the
stuff that to an attractive woman are RED FLAGS waving wildly,
screaming out, "DANGER! DANGER! UNCOOL,
FUN, BORING, INSECURE, WUSS ALERT!!!
ALERT!! ALERT!!"
I'm not trying to be mean here, seriously.
Just trying to show you what this stuff looks
like to WOMEN. Especially the kind of women
that YOU want.
So if I held back, I would be preventing you from
knowing THE TRUTH.
So here we go:
1. The Windex joke with streaking, you tried to be funny.
So I give you props for trying, but the problem is the image
we picture there is NOT FUNNY, it's a bit weird. A cross
between goofy and dorky and trying too hard to be funny.
It doesn't paint you in a SUPERIOR light.
The only time a self-deprecating comment works is
when CLEARLY you convey that you are in the
superior position, or when EVERY GUY goes around saying some comment about
how cool he is, i.e. HIS JOB, so then in fact YOU sound
cooler by NOT trying to prove yourself.
When I used to work in advertising at one of the biggest
advertising firms in Toronto, when girls asked me what I did,
and they found out, I would call it "bottom of the barrel" work.
Why? Because every other fool would try to show off about it,
trying to PROVE HIMSELF because he has nothing else going
on for him and because he feels the need to show off to
impress her. Which actually not only makes him seem uncool,
but also seem like a jerk, an asshole.
2. The second thing I need to point out here is when
you basically ask: "Are all the good women taken"?
What you have to realize, you see, is that this REEKS of
DESPERATION.
Because as far as women are concerned (unconsciously),
if you WERE THE MAN, then you would NEVER BE
AT SUCH A LOW emotional point where you felt that
way. You would have CHOICES, and the ONLY reason
you would be online is to INCREASE your choices.
Welcome to the reality of the attractive woman, or of
the few men who have the know-how:
A reality of CHOICES.
So when you ask if all the good ones are taken, women
will answer that for you by their ACTIONS: No they
aren't taken, they are actually WAITING for guys who
are THE MAN to scoop them up! If a guy is ASKING
the question, then that alone tells women that the guy
is DISQUALIFIED.
Hey, by the way, I learned all this the hard way.
I WISH someone would have shown me all this stuff!
Onward:
Then the "blasphemy" against the ways of THE MAN continue-
by going into REALLY DESPERATE territory when you say,
"I am here to find out, no matter how long it takes, there
must be one left somewhere."
I can hear the lilting strains of a wuss love song coming on.
Perhaps Stevie B's "Because I loooooooooooove you, my
heart's an OOOOOOpen doooor" lol. Or how about Chicago's
"As Long as Niagara Falls".
Hey, just trying to make this not OVERLY serious here,
this whole thing ironically should be ENJOYED as a process.
Let's continue:
You then mention all types of things to QUALIFY
yourself, as if you need to PROVE something, like
an inferior. Inferiority is the ANTI-ATTRACTION.
Not only that, but by getting into all this LOGICAL
hogwash like "I am very much a versatile person who
sustains a lot of depth" you are committing one of the
CARDINAL SINS in the world of attraction:
You are NOT FOCUSING ON EMOTIONS.
You did the sin of trying to get her through LOGIC.
You were trying to get her through making SENSE.
Look, if it worked THAT way, then all a guy would
have to do is SAY he's great, or explain it, and presto-
he would have the woman.
Instead, what you must do is SHOW IT, not say it.
BE PLAYFUL, don't just SAY you are playful.
Your profile should BE playful if you want to convey
playfulness. Your profile should BE intriguing if you
want to convey intriguing. Your profile should BE cool
if you want to convey cool.
Then you go on with "my approach is always genuine,
honest and sincere."
WHOAH. MAN.
This ain't my STYLE.
This is ANTI-THE MAN stuff!
I DO believe in being honest, but I don't believe in
this logical boring stuff at ALL for creating attraction.
It doesn't work, it's just been heard too often and it's too
boring and the reason guys feel the need to say it is out
of desperation and the women you want know this.
Then you go on to MORE LOGICAL stuff:
"I am primarily looking to explore an opportunity" etc.
Sounds like a RESUME!!!
This is SEX and FUN and GOOD TIMES, not the office!
Then more qualifying:
"I'm well educated with a university degree".
You may as well just say "I desperately hope you like me"
because women will read it as the same thing, or they will
simply be neutral, since this stuff is NOT making the
visceral juices flow.
And THEN comes the CLINCHER:
"Always a man that is loyal, unconditional, compassionate,
courteous and reliable to the point you can always count
on me."
Oh MAN!!!!!!!!!
This is what I recommend guys say to women who they
WANT TO REPULSE!!! Seriously!!!
Now, you had some points with the "the confidence to be
a real man not a mouse and I know exactly what I want out
of life." but then veered off again with "make her feel truly
appreciated."
OF COURSE you are getting the women that are desperate
for attention with this profile! And of course you are pushing
away the ones you want with this!!!
Regarding the tool comment, I'm not even going to
make a joke there. I think I know why you did it, since
it sounds "masculine" but the way you put it makes it
sound like it's your idea of a FUN night out.
Again, no emotions created.
It might be different if you wrote details about how you
enjoy horseback riding, ice mountain climbing, stock car racing,
camping in the wilderness, etc.
And definitely, by the way, you don't need 16 dating sites.
A few will do, if you just get the SKILLS down pat.
Hope that helps!
Let's see what else we have in the mailbag
(okay fine, there's no bag, but I always wanted
to say that!)
***LETTER***
I got this girl's number on Thursday and called her Saturday.
We talked, she gave me her email. I sent her an email, she
was talking real nice and into me. I sent her one back,
but I didn't get one in return. I called her, left a message,
still no response. Now I like this girl, what should I do?
>>>ANSWER<<<
This one's gonna be short and sweet.
There could be a billion things that happened, but the
critical one is that either you didn't interact with her properly,
or possibly she is genuinely flaky.
I'd have to know more details of what happened to give you
a full picture, but right off the bat I can tell you a few things:
DON'T EMAIL when you can CALL unless you have
ZERO know-how, zero skill, zero insight.
She ALREADY gave you her number.
On the phone, you can juice up her emotions, get her
laughing, and overcome all futile excuses she puts up
as her resistance and playing hard to get. (she needs to
do this you know, in order to feel like a good girl.)
Now, chances are if your know-how was up to par,
she would have responded, but that's okay, you will
improve with insight and practice. What I would do
is immediately start approaching other girls so that
you don't lose perspective and start getting obsessed
with this one girl. The obsession will DESTROY your
entire "vibe" and repel ANY woman you meet.
Then, and ONLY then, CALL this girl back if you like
and if you still care after having options with all the
other girls, and DON'T LOSE THE FRAME OF
CONTROL.
The reason why it's okay to call back even though
she didn't call you is because you CAN'T PLAY
"HARD TO GET" if you DON'T EVEN HAVE LEVERAGE
yet, in other words you HAVE TO CREATE ATTRACTION
before you can think about not calling her and waiting
for her to call you.
Of course, all this is best taken care of in the
first few minutes of the interaction, otherwise
you're in the land of damage control.
But if and when you DO call her back, whatever she
says, reframe it back into meaning that she wants to
meet up with you. Get her laughing, continue to be the
superior and fun and yet trustworthy guy, (my live
Bootcamps and my Warrior Within DVD Set get into
explicit detail about the latest and most powerful
ways to do this) and get her to meet you
and do something CASUAL together like
meeting for coffee, or at a cafe, etc.
Then, get to a place of privacy, make out, and escalate if
you wish to do so lol. And practice safe sex.
And if you are reading this right now and would like
to TAKE CONTROL of this area of your life NOW,
I seriously suggest that you get my most advanced
program: The Warrior Within DVD Set On Attracting
And Keeping The Highest Quality Women.
It's at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
You can also check out testimonials here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD31qsIWSRo
To find out about private one-on-one Bootcamps,
where I will focus exclusively on you, on
taking you past any sticking points so that
you can achieve your goals as fast as possible,
go here:
http://getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Attracting Women: Tips From The Real World
Welcome to "Attracting Women: Tips From The Real World".
The name is very deliberate- no half-baked
THEORIES here. All the insights you are
about to read have taken the real life
"test-drives" by being tested on real
women thousands of times!
In doing tons of Workshops and Bootcamps,
I have noticed that there are certain COMMON
YET DEVASTATING MISTAKES that guys
make ALL THE TIME in their interactions
with women. These mistakes are TOXIC
to attraction.
Because I know what to look for,
I can detect these errors as soon
as they happen and thus immediately
put things back on the RIGHT track
to attraction.
It’s CRITICAL to understand what these
mistakes are, and to AVOID them like
the plague, particularly in the INITIAL
MOMENTS OF THE APPROACH/CONVERSATION.
Here are FIVE MAJOR insights on how
attraction works with women in the real
world, and what you should DO about it:
1. PLAYFUL DOES NOT MEAN GOOFY
There is a fine line between PLAYFUL and FUN and
being GOOFY. Goofy is NOT COOL. And the reason
goofy is not cool is because goofy shows a LACK OF
UNDERSTANDING of the emotional fabric of the situation,
and it shows A LACK OF WIT, as well as a LACK OF
CONFIDENCE.
Being goofy is also too EASY. Anyone can do it.
And it’s like saying “I’m going to be extremely stupid
on purpose so that it’s obvious I’m not trying to be smart,
so that way, no one can accuse me of being an idiot, since
I’m OBVIOUSLY being an idiot.”
But this is actually a sign of INSECURITY, because
it’s giving yourself an EXCUSE to tell everyone
for why you are not making a powerful impact.
So it becomes an escape tactic, or as a comedian
I know says, “It’s a back door”.
In other words, the women (and in fact everyone
in the group, if they are there) can see you are
AFRAID of screwing up, by the very fact you
are making it so clear that you are intentionally
screwing up.
That’s the difference between goofy humor and
humor that shows confidence, value, talent, or
wit.
2. A PLAYFUL TEASE IS DESTROYED BY
INCONGRUENT BODY LANGUAGE
For example, if you think you are being funny
by teasing a waitress by pretending to be giving
her the menu back and then yanking it away etc.,
but you are not making eye contact, or you are
facing away from her because you are secretly
afraid of her reaction, OR if your expression looks
goofy and over smiley OR if you are too serious,
instead of either just being laid back or calm smile,
the waitress will then just think you are weird and
it will also make her uncomfortable or irritable.
Which is the opposite of what you want.
You have to realize that any of those mistakes
will screw up your tease big time and backfire.
Which is not to put you off making teases, just
to let you know that there is a STANDARD
and if you don’t reach it, you will come across
as pathetic.
Incongruent and weak body language makes your
tease seem like you are saying, ““Ain’t I cute, I can
do this stupid sh*8 to you”, while the SAME tease
with the RIGHT body language comes across
as a guy who is SEXY and relaxed AND not
seeking approval, AND in a good playful mood
AND funny AND witty.
It really helps to be self-aware of this until
you change your habits instinctively, and of
course, it helps to have an expert monitor
you and eliminate any problem areas in
your game in this regard.
3. THE WAY YOU USE STYLE COUNTS
You hear these guys out there telling
you hogwash like, “I’m a total slob and I
eat nothing but lard and I wear garage sale
smelly crap and I’m UNBEATABLE with
women thanks to the magic secret I learned
from x system”.
This is the kind of crap that can really
screw up a guy because he THINKS he’s
cool and then one day he finally realizes
he’s been TOTALLY LIED TO.
Look, I’ve been “in the game now” for
a while, and I STILL like to push the
envelope for myself in terms of experimenting
with different styles, accessories, fits, etc.
This does not mean you can't make it
work with jeans and a t-shirt. Jeans
and a t-shirt can work great, as long
as it's not the ONLY thing you know.
In fact, last weekend, I had a student on
workshop who had strengths in this area,
and it gave me an idea for applying a
certain element of style for myself. I used
it that night, and it honestly in my opinion
made my 'game' one notch even BETTER,
damn this game is fun! It’s actually FUN
to play around with style, it’s like
bringing fantasy into reality.
Dressing cool means a hell of a lot more than
not having holes in your shirt or wearing jeans
and sneakers, and taking a shower. There’s
a TON to be said about accessories, shoes,
learning about how to make your age work
for you in terms of style, no matter what your
age.
This is ESPECIALLY true when you go
out “on the town” to have fun. In the
REAL WORLD, not the world of make
believe b.s. advice or the world of internet
ads, in the REAL WORLD where beautiful
girls really live, you can bet your butt
that this stuff MATTERS.
It’s not EVERYTHING, but it counts.
As it should, if you think about it.
It’s all about IMPACT.
It’s all about FEELING THE EMOTIONS.
What kind of impact does a BORING
outfit have?
And there is a way to do this RIGHT, so that
you are EXCITING, yet exciting with class.
You don’t want to come across as the male
version of a ho.
This is a huge topic but for now, let me say that
next time you go shopping for clothes, try thinking
about the IMPACT YOU ARE MAKING.
Does it make you yawn, or does it make
you go “cooooooool”.
4. DOMINATING THE FRAME
Not only do women want a guy who can
LEAD the interaction, and who is masculine
and dominant in this sense, but women will
SPIT YOU OUT if you are not this way,
and you will not even get out of the
STARTING GATES otherwise.
Nowhere is this more clear than in a club.
Now I know that not all guys go to clubs,
but they serve as an excellent training ground
because there are so many distractions, that you
MUST GROW IN DOMINANCE in order to
OUTWEIGH them all.
For example, your VOICE:
If you are going to talk in a namby-pamby,
quiet, unsure voice, you will not even get
HEARD in the massive volume of the
music.
Also, as you engage in the conversation,
she might get interrupted by her friend.
In a situation like this, many guys will just
figure it’s over and LEAVE. Or they will
kind of shrink and make it clear they are
on “hold” and willing to wait for her forever,
or they will pander up too much to the friends
in a clearly submissive manner.
Listen:
ALL THAT LEADS TO NOWHERESVILLE.
You have to make sure that you TAKE CARE
of those friends. For example, the situation might
call for you to say a couple of fun or intriguing
things to them to kind of show them that you are not
DISSING them, but your facial expression also shows
that you have no intention of kissing up to them
or giving in on the girl you are with either.
You have to GET HER AWAY FROM HER
FRIENDS in a way that is smooth and playful,
yet decisive and confident.
You can’t start ASKING HER if she will go with
you away from her friends to another part
of the club, or SHE WILL FEEL that if she AGREES,
she feels that you will then think she is a "slut"
and "cheap", since she was “so easy” to go with
you because she actually SAID "yes" when
wussilly ASKED by you.
As a guy, you have to take just about ALL the
action in the beginning, it has to do with our
culture and its sexual rituals.
And if you show that you are clueless about this
fact, or that you are too scared to do this, that will
make her feel you are pathetic, or at least it will
make her feel the situation is a NO-go.
You have to understand that SHE will not
ACTIVELY do the "seduction" or the "pick-up"
FOR YOU, she can only play her part, which
is to go along with your leadership if she
desires you.
But if you don’t show leadership, then even
if she somehow miraculously DOES feel
attraction to you in spite of your lack of
leadership in the interaction, she will NOT
make the 'seduction' happen.
See? As a guy, you hold tremendous power,
because only YOU can make it happen.
And, she WANTS the man to make it happen,
because if SHE has to make it happen,
the whole male-female dynamic loses
that primal spark.
Being a man, you must lead her.
That doesn’t mean being A CAVEMAN.
Think Bond, not Neanderthal.
Because you sure as heck cannot just DRAG
her away.
But if I, for example, have a playful game
I want to play with a woman, it serves as
a fun reason to separate her from her friends.
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT,
it’s not just the game, it’s the DOMINANCE
and the congruence behind the very way
I suggest to play the game. I don’t NEED
to make it a game, I could use any of a
thousand pretexts DEPENDING on the
situation. For example, it could be that
it’s too noisy and we need to move
“over there”.
And there are about a thousand other
obstacles that could come between you
and the girl, including anything from
her friends saying “We’re are all going
to dance”, to her cell phone going off,
to the fact that she and her friends
are all leaving at the moment.
You HAVE TO OVER-RIDE all of this,
in a CALM demeanor, while MAINTAINING
the fun vibe, and the DOMINANT frame.
And in many ways, dominance, done
RIGHT, and NOT in a controlling obsessive
manner, is critical throughout any interaction
or relationship you will have with women.
Many times, I’ll be in a conversation with
a girl that I just met, and her girlfriends will
be doing their job of taking her away, and
by handling the situation right, they will
go away, and when they come back the
second time for a repeat attempt at stealing
their girlfriend back, (which is kinda funny)
the girl herself will actually tell her friends,
“No, it’s okay, it’s good”, and that of course
is the best way to take care of her friends,
when she herself tells her friends that all is
well and that any more interference is no longer
desired. (This also is partially due to cognitive
dissonance, which I explain in my book in
great detail.)
5. INNER GAME RULES!
Now, the amazing thing is that if you have
the right STATE OF MIND, which means
not only confidence, but also a state of mind
that is playful, fun, has energy, is curious,
and a state of mind that can tap into all
the wonders of your creativity—well, this
overall state of mind, this inner game
TRULY can do wonders.
Your INNER GAME affects REALITY,
it affects the outer world, because your
INNER game will be PROJECTED onto
reality. You are what you THINK you
are, and it’s not a cliché, the only reason
people think it’s a cliché is because the
folks they heard the cliché from weren’t
practicing what they preach. So it seemed
to not hold truth. But trust me, inner
game is HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.
For example, most people truly prefer
BRAND NAMES when it comes to
things, like food for example. They
actually say it TASTES BETTER.
But in a recent survey in a supermarket,
in blind taste tests, for TONS of products,
people actually said the GENERIC brand
tasted just as good, if not better!!!!!
They actually PREFERRED THE TASTE
OF THE GENERIC BRAND THAT THEY
PREVIOUSLY SWORE TASTED WORSE.
As long as they DIDN’T know which
brand was which.
But yet every day, billions of people all over
the world, due to the power of PROJECTION,
prefer to choose the brand that more effectively
PROJECTS better taste, even if it is not better,
in fact even if it is worse, i.e. the NAME BRAND.
This is the power of projection and BELIEF.
Because of the superior projection of the name
brand, the people BELIEVE it tastes better, so
it DOES to them.
So you can really start to see that your
reality is not so static, a LOT depends on
your own self perception and what you
project.
So, inner game, your inner vibe, the emotions
you feel inside of you, are a MAJOR factor.
Avoid negative self concepts and negative
emotions like the plague, and learn to avoid
or bounce back from the negative forces of
people around you.
You will project what you believe, and if you believe
you don’t have what it takes to attract the kind
of women you want, women will then feel it’s true,
but if your inner game is TIGHT, and you believe
you DO have what it takes, you will project THAT
reality and it will seem OBVIOUS to everyone that
you indeed are the sh(*!
Getting real results tends to happen with a
COMBINATION of:
1. Unbeatable 'INNER GAME'.
2. Learning the best immediate actions
to take when you see a woman you want
to attract ('OUTER GAME').
3. Understanding the way women think
as a result of our culture and women's
own biology.
4. Mastering deeper communication, so
that you can also KEEP a woman attracted
long-term.
With THIS combination, you can actually
start to ENJOY the whole process of
meeting women because it's going to
generate RESULTS.
And if YOU would like to SKYROCKET
YOUR INNER GAME and OUTER GAME and
learn how to not only ATTRACT the
women of your choice, but also learn
how to KEEP that attraction going,
then I seriously recommend you take
advantage of my WARRIOR WITHIN DVD SET.
The Warrior Within program material is
not a playground.
After being taught what you need to know,
you will be thrust into the HEART of
INTENSE exercises and strategies that
FORCE your inner and outer game to GROW,
BIG TIME. And all along the way, you'll
also be gaining insights into women
and how to KEEP a woman attracted.
Make no mistake about it, the vast
majority of men will NEVER even know
what they are doing wrong and why
they are not getting results, and
they will go their entire lives
without meeting and attracting
the kind of woman they actually
WANT.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Warrior Within is the result of YEARS of
conducting bootcamps where the goal is
always the same: HOW TO GET ANY GUY
TO GENERATE ATTRACTION AS FAST AS
POSSIBLE IN WOMEN --whether it's
meeting her on the sidewalk, at
the store, a lounge or ANYWHERE
ELSE.
On TOP of this, Warrior Within ALSO
shows how to DETECT and especially
attract the kind of women who are
both attractive and faithful, and
it will show you how to KEEP such
a woman.
Why waste precious time on endless trial and
error, knocking your head against a wall, when
you could have this area of your life totally
under your control?
Get this program NOW, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook,
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women,
then what the heck are you waiting for???
Do it IMMEDIATELY. This book is the DNA
for attraction, and is an EXCELLENT place to
start before going on to my advanced programs
and services.
Download it now at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
The name is very deliberate- no half-baked
THEORIES here. All the insights you are
about to read have taken the real life
"test-drives" by being tested on real
women thousands of times!
In doing tons of Workshops and Bootcamps,
I have noticed that there are certain COMMON
YET DEVASTATING MISTAKES that guys
make ALL THE TIME in their interactions
with women. These mistakes are TOXIC
to attraction.
Because I know what to look for,
I can detect these errors as soon
as they happen and thus immediately
put things back on the RIGHT track
to attraction.
It’s CRITICAL to understand what these
mistakes are, and to AVOID them like
the plague, particularly in the INITIAL
MOMENTS OF THE APPROACH/CONVERSATION.
Here are FIVE MAJOR insights on how
attraction works with women in the real
world, and what you should DO about it:
1. PLAYFUL DOES NOT MEAN GOOFY
There is a fine line between PLAYFUL and FUN and
being GOOFY. Goofy is NOT COOL. And the reason
goofy is not cool is because goofy shows a LACK OF
UNDERSTANDING of the emotional fabric of the situation,
and it shows A LACK OF WIT, as well as a LACK OF
CONFIDENCE.
Being goofy is also too EASY. Anyone can do it.
And it’s like saying “I’m going to be extremely stupid
on purpose so that it’s obvious I’m not trying to be smart,
so that way, no one can accuse me of being an idiot, since
I’m OBVIOUSLY being an idiot.”
But this is actually a sign of INSECURITY, because
it’s giving yourself an EXCUSE to tell everyone
for why you are not making a powerful impact.
So it becomes an escape tactic, or as a comedian
I know says, “It’s a back door”.
In other words, the women (and in fact everyone
in the group, if they are there) can see you are
AFRAID of screwing up, by the very fact you
are making it so clear that you are intentionally
screwing up.
That’s the difference between goofy humor and
humor that shows confidence, value, talent, or
wit.
2. A PLAYFUL TEASE IS DESTROYED BY
INCONGRUENT BODY LANGUAGE
For example, if you think you are being funny
by teasing a waitress by pretending to be giving
her the menu back and then yanking it away etc.,
but you are not making eye contact, or you are
facing away from her because you are secretly
afraid of her reaction, OR if your expression looks
goofy and over smiley OR if you are too serious,
instead of either just being laid back or calm smile,
the waitress will then just think you are weird and
it will also make her uncomfortable or irritable.
Which is the opposite of what you want.
You have to realize that any of those mistakes
will screw up your tease big time and backfire.
Which is not to put you off making teases, just
to let you know that there is a STANDARD
and if you don’t reach it, you will come across
as pathetic.
Incongruent and weak body language makes your
tease seem like you are saying, ““Ain’t I cute, I can
do this stupid sh*8 to you”, while the SAME tease
with the RIGHT body language comes across
as a guy who is SEXY and relaxed AND not
seeking approval, AND in a good playful mood
AND funny AND witty.
It really helps to be self-aware of this until
you change your habits instinctively, and of
course, it helps to have an expert monitor
you and eliminate any problem areas in
your game in this regard.
3. THE WAY YOU USE STYLE COUNTS
You hear these guys out there telling
you hogwash like, “I’m a total slob and I
eat nothing but lard and I wear garage sale
smelly crap and I’m UNBEATABLE with
women thanks to the magic secret I learned
from x system”.
This is the kind of crap that can really
screw up a guy because he THINKS he’s
cool and then one day he finally realizes
he’s been TOTALLY LIED TO.
Look, I’ve been “in the game now” for
a while, and I STILL like to push the
envelope for myself in terms of experimenting
with different styles, accessories, fits, etc.
This does not mean you can't make it
work with jeans and a t-shirt. Jeans
and a t-shirt can work great, as long
as it's not the ONLY thing you know.
In fact, last weekend, I had a student on
workshop who had strengths in this area,
and it gave me an idea for applying a
certain element of style for myself. I used
it that night, and it honestly in my opinion
made my 'game' one notch even BETTER,
damn this game is fun! It’s actually FUN
to play around with style, it’s like
bringing fantasy into reality.
Dressing cool means a hell of a lot more than
not having holes in your shirt or wearing jeans
and sneakers, and taking a shower. There’s
a TON to be said about accessories, shoes,
learning about how to make your age work
for you in terms of style, no matter what your
age.
This is ESPECIALLY true when you go
out “on the town” to have fun. In the
REAL WORLD, not the world of make
believe b.s. advice or the world of internet
ads, in the REAL WORLD where beautiful
girls really live, you can bet your butt
that this stuff MATTERS.
It’s not EVERYTHING, but it counts.
As it should, if you think about it.
It’s all about IMPACT.
It’s all about FEELING THE EMOTIONS.
What kind of impact does a BORING
outfit have?
And there is a way to do this RIGHT, so that
you are EXCITING, yet exciting with class.
You don’t want to come across as the male
version of a ho.
This is a huge topic but for now, let me say that
next time you go shopping for clothes, try thinking
about the IMPACT YOU ARE MAKING.
Does it make you yawn, or does it make
you go “cooooooool”.
4. DOMINATING THE FRAME
Not only do women want a guy who can
LEAD the interaction, and who is masculine
and dominant in this sense, but women will
SPIT YOU OUT if you are not this way,
and you will not even get out of the
STARTING GATES otherwise.
Nowhere is this more clear than in a club.
Now I know that not all guys go to clubs,
but they serve as an excellent training ground
because there are so many distractions, that you
MUST GROW IN DOMINANCE in order to
OUTWEIGH them all.
For example, your VOICE:
If you are going to talk in a namby-pamby,
quiet, unsure voice, you will not even get
HEARD in the massive volume of the
music.
Also, as you engage in the conversation,
she might get interrupted by her friend.
In a situation like this, many guys will just
figure it’s over and LEAVE. Or they will
kind of shrink and make it clear they are
on “hold” and willing to wait for her forever,
or they will pander up too much to the friends
in a clearly submissive manner.
Listen:
ALL THAT LEADS TO NOWHERESVILLE.
You have to make sure that you TAKE CARE
of those friends. For example, the situation might
call for you to say a couple of fun or intriguing
things to them to kind of show them that you are not
DISSING them, but your facial expression also shows
that you have no intention of kissing up to them
or giving in on the girl you are with either.
You have to GET HER AWAY FROM HER
FRIENDS in a way that is smooth and playful,
yet decisive and confident.
You can’t start ASKING HER if she will go with
you away from her friends to another part
of the club, or SHE WILL FEEL that if she AGREES,
she feels that you will then think she is a "slut"
and "cheap", since she was “so easy” to go with
you because she actually SAID "yes" when
wussilly ASKED by you.
As a guy, you have to take just about ALL the
action in the beginning, it has to do with our
culture and its sexual rituals.
And if you show that you are clueless about this
fact, or that you are too scared to do this, that will
make her feel you are pathetic, or at least it will
make her feel the situation is a NO-go.
You have to understand that SHE will not
ACTIVELY do the "seduction" or the "pick-up"
FOR YOU, she can only play her part, which
is to go along with your leadership if she
desires you.
But if you don’t show leadership, then even
if she somehow miraculously DOES feel
attraction to you in spite of your lack of
leadership in the interaction, she will NOT
make the 'seduction' happen.
See? As a guy, you hold tremendous power,
because only YOU can make it happen.
And, she WANTS the man to make it happen,
because if SHE has to make it happen,
the whole male-female dynamic loses
that primal spark.
Being a man, you must lead her.
That doesn’t mean being A CAVEMAN.
Think Bond, not Neanderthal.
Because you sure as heck cannot just DRAG
her away.
But if I, for example, have a playful game
I want to play with a woman, it serves as
a fun reason to separate her from her friends.
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT,
it’s not just the game, it’s the DOMINANCE
and the congruence behind the very way
I suggest to play the game. I don’t NEED
to make it a game, I could use any of a
thousand pretexts DEPENDING on the
situation. For example, it could be that
it’s too noisy and we need to move
“over there”.
And there are about a thousand other
obstacles that could come between you
and the girl, including anything from
her friends saying “We’re are all going
to dance”, to her cell phone going off,
to the fact that she and her friends
are all leaving at the moment.
You HAVE TO OVER-RIDE all of this,
in a CALM demeanor, while MAINTAINING
the fun vibe, and the DOMINANT frame.
And in many ways, dominance, done
RIGHT, and NOT in a controlling obsessive
manner, is critical throughout any interaction
or relationship you will have with women.
Many times, I’ll be in a conversation with
a girl that I just met, and her girlfriends will
be doing their job of taking her away, and
by handling the situation right, they will
go away, and when they come back the
second time for a repeat attempt at stealing
their girlfriend back, (which is kinda funny)
the girl herself will actually tell her friends,
“No, it’s okay, it’s good”, and that of course
is the best way to take care of her friends,
when she herself tells her friends that all is
well and that any more interference is no longer
desired. (This also is partially due to cognitive
dissonance, which I explain in my book in
great detail.)
5. INNER GAME RULES!
Now, the amazing thing is that if you have
the right STATE OF MIND, which means
not only confidence, but also a state of mind
that is playful, fun, has energy, is curious,
and a state of mind that can tap into all
the wonders of your creativity—well, this
overall state of mind, this inner game
TRULY can do wonders.
Your INNER GAME affects REALITY,
it affects the outer world, because your
INNER game will be PROJECTED onto
reality. You are what you THINK you
are, and it’s not a cliché, the only reason
people think it’s a cliché is because the
folks they heard the cliché from weren’t
practicing what they preach. So it seemed
to not hold truth. But trust me, inner
game is HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.
For example, most people truly prefer
BRAND NAMES when it comes to
things, like food for example. They
actually say it TASTES BETTER.
But in a recent survey in a supermarket,
in blind taste tests, for TONS of products,
people actually said the GENERIC brand
tasted just as good, if not better!!!!!
They actually PREFERRED THE TASTE
OF THE GENERIC BRAND THAT THEY
PREVIOUSLY SWORE TASTED WORSE.
As long as they DIDN’T know which
brand was which.
But yet every day, billions of people all over
the world, due to the power of PROJECTION,
prefer to choose the brand that more effectively
PROJECTS better taste, even if it is not better,
in fact even if it is worse, i.e. the NAME BRAND.
This is the power of projection and BELIEF.
Because of the superior projection of the name
brand, the people BELIEVE it tastes better, so
it DOES to them.
So you can really start to see that your
reality is not so static, a LOT depends on
your own self perception and what you
project.
So, inner game, your inner vibe, the emotions
you feel inside of you, are a MAJOR factor.
Avoid negative self concepts and negative
emotions like the plague, and learn to avoid
or bounce back from the negative forces of
people around you.
You will project what you believe, and if you believe
you don’t have what it takes to attract the kind
of women you want, women will then feel it’s true,
but if your inner game is TIGHT, and you believe
you DO have what it takes, you will project THAT
reality and it will seem OBVIOUS to everyone that
you indeed are the sh(*!
Getting real results tends to happen with a
COMBINATION of:
1. Unbeatable 'INNER GAME'.
2. Learning the best immediate actions
to take when you see a woman you want
to attract ('OUTER GAME').
3. Understanding the way women think
as a result of our culture and women's
own biology.
4. Mastering deeper communication, so
that you can also KEEP a woman attracted
long-term.
With THIS combination, you can actually
start to ENJOY the whole process of
meeting women because it's going to
generate RESULTS.
And if YOU would like to SKYROCKET
YOUR INNER GAME and OUTER GAME and
learn how to not only ATTRACT the
women of your choice, but also learn
how to KEEP that attraction going,
then I seriously recommend you take
advantage of my WARRIOR WITHIN DVD SET.
The Warrior Within program material is
not a playground.
After being taught what you need to know,
you will be thrust into the HEART of
INTENSE exercises and strategies that
FORCE your inner and outer game to GROW,
BIG TIME. And all along the way, you'll
also be gaining insights into women
and how to KEEP a woman attracted.
Make no mistake about it, the vast
majority of men will NEVER even know
what they are doing wrong and why
they are not getting results, and
they will go their entire lives
without meeting and attracting
the kind of woman they actually
WANT.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Warrior Within is the result of YEARS of
conducting bootcamps where the goal is
always the same: HOW TO GET ANY GUY
TO GENERATE ATTRACTION AS FAST AS
POSSIBLE IN WOMEN --whether it's
meeting her on the sidewalk, at
the store, a lounge or ANYWHERE
ELSE.
On TOP of this, Warrior Within ALSO
shows how to DETECT and especially
attract the kind of women who are
both attractive and faithful, and
it will show you how to KEEP such
a woman.
Why waste precious time on endless trial and
error, knocking your head against a wall, when
you could have this area of your life totally
under your control?
Get this program NOW, at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html
And if you haven’t yet downloaded my eBook,
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women,
then what the heck are you waiting for???
Do it IMMEDIATELY. This book is the DNA
for attraction, and is an EXCELLENT place to
start before going on to my advanced programs
and services.
Download it now at:
http://getagreatgirl.com/Wizard.html
Till next time,
Michael Marks
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